Nap Training

For the one or two of you still curious about Holden's every sleeping moment, we are now officially in the midst of the dreaded nap training. By all accounts that we've read online and in our trusty books, nap training is a lot harder than night sleep training. First there's the fact that they're just not as tired as they are at the end of the day. Then there's the timing issue--of when to put them down. Do you base it on a specific time of the day regardless of how tired they look, or do you try to sync it with their rhythms? What happens if they're overtired and/or cry through the entire nap period? And what happens if they only sleep 1 hour one time and 2 hours the next? How many naps should a 4-month old take, anyway? You get the picture...

This is why many experts, including Mindell, suggest you get your night sleep situation completely figured out first, and then wait at least two weeks until beginning the nap training. Some of our friends, on the other hand, have suggested we do both at the same time (why prolong the pain?). We decided to split the difference and start the nap training about a week after beginning sleep training, because 1) we had the sneaking suspicion that the bad habits during the day were affecting his nighttime routine, and 2) I just got fed up one day with going through the elaborate schemes that would work to put the poor boy to sleep. And we probably would have started it even sooner if it weren't for the fact that naps are such complicated business, and I am (perhaps infamously so) a very indecisive person and just couldn't figure out how to best attack the problem.

Luckily my exasperation trumped my indecisiveness, and last Thursday when he started to look tired at about the time he usually goes down to sleep, I did our little singing routine, turned on the sound machine and some lullaby music, kissed him and put him in his crib, and walked away. And then...he cried for an ENTIRE HOUR while I gingerlycame in at regular intervals to console. Oy vay. I got him up, started the whole thing again around the time that he usually has his second nap, and again the little guy did not sleep. By 3 pm, Mike (who was working from home that afternoon) gave up, and let the poor little guy sleep in his arms while he watched some TV.

I had expected and feared that this was how the first day would go (which is yet another reason why I had been delaying this process), and thus felt defeated that evening and wondered if we were doing something wrong. But then something happened. That night, for the first time, he fell asleep within 20 minutes. And the next day, he followed suite with two of the three of his naps. Granted he would only sleep about 30 minutes at a time, but he did it by himself! We've been having our up and down days ever since, but his naps have been getting longer (2 hours yesterday morning!), and with the exception of a few bumps here and there the crying has been significantly decreasing. It's not gone yet, but I feel like we're on our way.

Why are we so into this sleep training thing? Well, before, I would play an hour long (or more) dance that involved nursing, swaying, and carefully putting him in bed asleep, only to have him wake up and scream, prompting me to do the whole thing over again. The problem had gotten so bad last week that I was resorting to either nursing him in our bed and then lying there quietly until he woke up, or driving him around on the interstate for 40 minutes (no back roads; this kid likes speed). Do this everyday and this is enough to drive anyone insane.

We're still working out some of the kinks, shifting the times here and there each day as we attempt to figure out his sleepy "zone," as one of our friends calls it, but things are starting to feel normal again. Just now he fell asleep with only 2 minutes of tired fussing, which counts as a big huzzah for me. And now, even in those 30 min. catnaps, I feel like I can have a little time to get something done. Aah, when he's older, and his naps consolidate from 3 short ones to one heavenly long one: I can't wait for that day.