Advice

As any new parent knows, there are a lot of books, websites, pediatricians, and general schools of thought out there about how to raise a child--so much that it can be a bit overwhelming. There are "philosophies," if you will, about feeding, sleeping, learning, you name it. The whole business of raising a kid has become, well, a business--a major cottage industry that extends at least back to the famous Dr. Spock, though probably much earlier.

As a new parents feeling things out for the first time, we've found it hard not to get wrapped up in all of this, but then we remind ourselves that human beings have been doing this for centuries, so a lot of this has to be intuitive. And as we've quickly learned, some of the best advice comes from seasoned parents who buck the trends. Without further ado, here are some of the best tips that I've received so far:

1) "Whatever works." This is my favorite bit of advice, by far, especially when it flies in the face of whatever the experts say you are "supposed" to do. The best example in our little world is that Holden had trouble breast feeding, so I ended up using "nipple shields," which is a no no for many lactation consultants because they supposedly teach them "bad habits." But they worked for us, and we learned through the process that Holden would nurse when he was ready. And now..the little guy eats like a champ.

2) "Two Weeks." This is advice that we got from our old college friend Amy, who has her own parenting blog. And seriously, we need to post this in big letters around our house. In a nutshell, her advice is that whatever is going on, whatever you think is a problem--wait two weeks before you change anything drastic. Babies change so quickly and are so variable that the fussiness one day, or sleeping problem, may just be a fluke. Hard to follow since as new parents we tend to obsess about any changes we see, which is exactly why it is such great advice.

3) "It's only a problem if you think it is." Okay, so I got this one from a book (Elizabeth Pantley's "No-Cry Sleep Solution"), but it's good advice nonetheless. As she points out, there are a lot of social pressures out there about parenting; make sure you are making changes for you and not because somebody said you should make the change.

4) "It doesn't get any easier, but it does get more fun." I don't remember who told me this one, but I think it's so very true. The first few weeks are really hard, and while newbies are cute, it's hard to really connect with them until they start to smile.

5) "They're only little for a short time, so enjoy it." Mike's favorite advice, which is why he so treasures letting Holden nap in his arms almost every Saturday afternoon.

6) "As soon as you think you have it figured out, there's something new." Yup. Soo very true.