Second Night Syndrome

Last weekend we visited the Campbell grandparents in Iowa for Christmas (more on that in a prettier, more picture-filled post), and as expected, Holden had some trouble sleeping on the second night there. This has been a trend for the Short Stranger for months now--going back at least to our summer vacation in TN. Only rarely do we stay anywhere for longer than 2 nights, but when we do, he seems okay on Night Three. So from now on I deem this phenomenon "second night syndrome"--and will mentally prepare myself for a rough second night.

It makes sense, right? After traveling, he's usually pretty exhausted on the first night, so even though he may have trouble going to sleep, once he's out, he's good until morning. But on night two he's not quite as exhausted, he's in a strange place, in the same room as his parents, AND he's been busy exploring it all day. Heck, it's not like I sleep much better.

Usually when he wakes up on these nights, it takes us a while but we can get him back to bed after about 30-60 minutes of singing, story-reading, or (before age 1) nursing. This time we were so fearful that the nearby aunt and uncle could hear him use his newly-minted angry-screaming-"no no"-voice that we ended up letting him fall asleep on us. Not the first time, and probably not the last. Looking forward to the age when we can "use our words," as the daycare teachers say, to get over the second night hump.

Oh, and in case your wondering--he had no trouble sleeping when we returned home. Never does. And that's why it's simply the "second night syndrome."

A Blockhead Already?

No, I'm not referring to our son as "a dolt," but rather desperately trying to make a reference to the 233-episode, 35-year-running American television classic Gumby. Don't you remember Gumby's arch nemeses the Blockheads, a pair of humanoid, red-colored figures with block-shaped heads who wreaked mischief and havoc at all times? Well, not only has Holden grown more mischievous and toddler-like in recent months, but he's also grown quite an affinity for his toy blocks. Holden is constantly dumping his Edushape blocks (which are great!) all over the floor, running around with them in his hands, trying to building with them, and sometimes even dropping them on the cats.

This past weekend (before Bryna and I got sick as dogs ... ugh -- another post coming soon about that), Holden and I had some time to chill at home and have fun with his blocks. He is now able to attach 2 pieces together, which I'm very impressed with -- go Holden! Soon he'll be building miniature Parthenons in the living room.

Anyway, here are some photos from Holden's recent fun with blocks. We've got a video to add soon, too, showing Holden carrying his blocks one by one to drop in his pack'n'play. What an imagination the boy has already!

(... and I've been waiting to include a Gumby reference for quite some time)

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Holden pining for a chance to play in the snow
(sorry buddy, it's just too freakin' cold!).

Take a look, It's in a book...

Even though the classic show "Reading Rainbow" has been off the air now for more than 4 years, Holden has found inspiration outside of LeVar Burton to begin a love of reading at an early age. Over the past few weeks, he's been gaining more of an independent interest in books and reading. In fact, a couple times this past week, after I get home from picking Holden up from daycare, he'd immediately head over to the cabinet where we keep his stash of books, grab a favorite book, and then walk up to me and want to be read to. This is an exciting development, since it confirms that Holden actually likes books (his current favorites are "Maisy Drives" and "Busy Bear Cubs").


To further support early reading with Holden, we added some reading time to his bedtime routine--and Holden seems to enjoy that, too. He gets to pick between "Goodnight Moon" and "The Going to Bed Book" each night (who wouldn't love that?). And even though this bedtime reading can get Holden slightly revved-up before he goes to sleep (esp. as he points at the two little kittens and a pair of mittens), he never has any trouble going to sleep after the book is done.

While it can sometimes be difficult or seemingly silly to read to Holden at age 1 (because sometimes he'll have no interest, or grab the book and throw it on the ground, or he'll start chewing on the pages), I know that it is so important to get him in the habit of reading and enjoying books. He's learning the basics of how to read a book, and doing a lot of "pretend reading" these days--when he'll sit down with a book and just flip through the pages in no particular order.

Not to go on a rant here, but I recently saw a government study which reported that less than 50% of parents read to their toddlers on a daily basis (and it starts to drop off after the age of 2, which is such a crucial time for a child's cognitive development). I would wager a bet that the main culprit is television, but I'm sure computers are not far behind. Anyway, I'm super excited that Holden's starting to choose reading as an activity ... and Bryna and I are anxious for the day when we can read Harry Potter to him ; )

Thanksgiving Weekend Extravaganza

After a whirlwind month or two of work-related activities, we finally had a nice long break over Thanksgiving to enjoy together as a family. And to make the fullest of the holiday break, we packed it full of activities (it gets hard to entertain a little one when their walking!).

Thanksgiving with the Murawski grandparents--on what had to have been the coldest day of the season--included lots of play time with their toys, and of course, cooking cooking cooking. Holden was remarkably interested in all the action in the kitchen, and spent a good deal of time watching grandma cook while sitting in mom or dad's lap.

Once back in St. Louis, we decided to take advantage of the time off to visit the holiday train show at the Missouri Botanical Gardens, which like last year, a sleepy Holden only found slightly interesting (until we let him roam around on his own, that is).

And we also decided to let Holden decorate the cookie in the "ghost cookie kit" his granparents gave him for Halloween. We're still not sure if this was a good idea...
I think the most amazing thing about this holiday was that a year ago, I so distinctly remember Holden going through a 3-week growth spurt. When he wasn't (almost constantly) nursing, I was wearing him.

This was him on one of his first stroller walks a year ago:

And here he is all bundled up today:

Tending to that other baby...

So for the few strangers out there who happen upon our blog and don't already know who we are, along with being Holden's mom, I am also a PhD candidate in art history. This means I have another baby named "dissertation" that I am working to bring into this world. Recently, this baby has been going through the "terrible twos"--and I've had to spend a lot of time nurturing it (ie applying for grants), which is why I've been somewhat lagging on my blog-posting duties. But now, after a whirlwind of conference talks, proposals, and grant applications, my schedule is finally easing up a bit. And what better way to mark this moment than to start the first in a series of posts that focuses on balancing mothering and academia.

Here's the obvious: balancing it all can be tough. It can cause bouts of guilt. You can make you start to question your choices, and there are moments when a person doing this going into academia, especially, wonders if there's any point at all to this whole project. But for me, I can't imagine not working. And more than that--I've found myself even more productive in school since I had a child, and more fulfilled as a parent when I take the time to nurture my intellectual side. But as many out there in academia have noted, there are a lot of obstacles to overcome in this particular career field. Hence, my decision to spend a little more time talking about this issue over the coming days.

hangin' with daddy...

Bryna is out of town this weekend, so the boy and I are just hangin' at home. This morning, we dumped out some boxes of clothes that Holden's cousin Joey is letting us borrow (yay!), and Holden had fun trying on some new hats ... while sitting in a laundry basket, of course.

Then, at lunch, Holden seemed to want to eat a banana by himself, so I just handed it over -- the whole thing. He broke it in half, and quickly devoured it bite by bite. He's definitely been wanting to feed himself more and more recently, using a spoon on his own and also grabbing bigger and bigger pieces of food.

I've been trying to take some new videos of Holden, but he just won't stay still long enough for me to get any usable footage. However, I'm working on it ... and I hope to upload a short video montage soon.

ready for the holidays?

If Holden takes after his mom, he's already getting excited about the Holiday Season. Or maybe he's just mesmerized by the glitter in Imran's snow globes (foul temptress).

Big Transition Week

This week has been a big transition week for Holden ... and also a fairly rough week, too. The really big transition that I speak of is Holden's official move from the "infant room" to the "toddler room" at daycare. This process started on Monday, with Holden spending 2 hours in his new room, and the rest of the day back with his infant buddies -- and a bit more time each day, until tomorrow when he will spend the whole day with his new, older (and much bigger) friends.

Apparently youngsters Holden's age are very sensitive to transitions like this, and there has been lots of ink spilled about how best to handle such a move. After reading some of the research (yes, in my spare time ... or something like that), our daycare center seems to actually know what they are doing. It's key that Holden has some exposure to his new room before the transition ... check! It's also very important that he get some time to see his old room during the transition ... check! Our center has really been transitioning him ever since he arrived back in September, as he's been spending time in the "toddler room" for several months, getting to know the space, teachers, and other kids.

So Holden's been taking to the transition really well! In fact, his first nap on the toddler beds (ie. small cots that lay close to the ground) was today, and he slept longer that any other kid in his new class -- take that new kids! And despite a few bewildered mornings, Holden seems to really like his new digs. Of course, I'm keeping my eye on the biggest kid in the room, who has already thrown a toy at Holden ... he'd better not mess with my boy, or he'll have hell to pay (come on, I'm allowed to play up the toddler drama a bit, right?).

Other than his transition, Holden has been having a rough week -- probably because of teething. He's had several nights where he has woken up very upset, and has been really hard to get back to sleep (or, at least, we haven't experienced anything like this for a while, so it may seem more traumatic than it is). Who knows ... maybe Holden is truly upset about his move to the toddler room at daycare, and his anxiety is being taken out late at night when mommy and daddy are fast asleep. Ahhhhh, parenting.

Anyway, I thought I'd provide a quick update, since this has been a long yet important week. Out little H-bomb is truckin' through it, and so are we.

Busy Mommy

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....or so goes my life right now as a PhD student trying to juggle grant applications, conference papers, and a walking toddler. Since Holden started daycare, my academic work has kicked into high gear, and I've had hardly a moment to fully process--and put into words--my thoughts on this first year as a mother. That said, I really do have much to say on the matter, and promise, after a whirlwind round of deadlines passes in the next couple of weeks, that I will reflect back on the year.

traumatic doctor's visit

Yesterday, Holden has his scheduled 1-year doctor appointment. No big deal -- I've brought him to other doctor's appointments before when he gets weighed, measured, a quick check-up, and then usually some shots to keep on track with his immunizations. While Holden never likes the shots, he's always really good about it and only cries for a minute. Everything pretty much went as usual for his 1-year visit, except after they asked me if I wanted to have him tested for lead (which required a blood sample). Since we live in a very old house, I thought this would be a good idea -- and our pediatrician also encouraged us to get the blood test. So after we left their office, we headed down to the 3rd floor to the Lab for Holden to get some blood taken for this test ... and that was the beginning of the most traumatic experience Holden (or me) has had since his birth!!!

First of all, the place that we were sent to for this test was called LabCorps, Inc. So it sounds basically like some company that just does tests like this all day long, probably staffed by nurses who are trying to get this done as quickly as possible (but perhaps not as painlessly as possible). But I wasn't worried, because I had assumed that taking a blood sample from a baby would essentially be like getting another shot (I mean, how much blood do they really need?!). Holden's name was called, and in we went. After rolling up Holden's sleeve, the nurse asked me to give him a big bear hug to help hold him still, and then in she went with the needle (attached to a long tube with a bottle at the end of it) ... and Holden began howling like a wild animal!!! Wow, I've never heard him shriek and scream like that before, with tears pouring down his face. The nurse was obviously having trouble keeping the needle in his arm, as he used all of his strength to wiggle and kick and convulse. After about 3 or 4 minutes of this, she stopped (and I thought, "oh good, that is over ... what a nightmare, but at least we're done"). WRONG! She didn't get enough blood, so she needed to try again on Holden's other arm. WHAT??!!??!!

The nurse went to go get another nurse (his name was Nicolai), and all three of us held Holden as she made attempt #2 to take the blood sample. This time, Holden's screaming reached a whole new level (on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1o being the sound of a baby seal being beaten with a blunt object, Holden's screaming probably reached a 12). It took forever for them to get enough blood this time (WAY more than I ever thought would be needed for a test like this), but eventually it was all over. Holden calmed down (although he was shaking for another 10-15 minutes after this). As we walked back into the waiting room and then to the elevator, I realized that everyone on that floor of the office building had heard Holden's screams. One woman said to me, "I hope you punched whoever was doing that to your poor little baby." I agree, I should have punched the nurse ... and Nicolai (although I'm pretty sure he could take me).

Moral of this story: don't agree to any blood test for your baby unless it is absolutely necessary. That was an awful experience, and it's going to take me a while to get over it (I'm sure Holden has already forgotten about it ... or, at least I hope so). And this was on top of 4 shots he received at the doctor's visit, so our poor little guy was sporting 6 band-aids yesterday. I bet all the other kids at daycare thought they were cool!

'now life begins': a reflection on year one

Exactly one year has passed since our little Short Stranger came into our lives, and, I have to admit, reflecting on the last 365 days is not an easy task. Perhaps part of my problem is that the past year has felt like ten years -- mostly because a life without Holden seems so distant and unfathomable. My entire being has changed since this day last year, often in ways that seem difficult to describe. Before Holden was born, people tried to explain how much things would change and what it would mean to have a whole new life to care for (and I'm sure I try to tell that to other people a bunch now, too). For me, it did not begin to sink in until a tiny newborn Holden grabbed a hold of my finger in his first few moments of life outside the womb -- and I thought to myself ... "now life begins."


In another way, the past year has gone by in a flash. I can't believe Holden is one year old! He is no longer a baby, but is becoming a boy. He's moving up to the toddler room at daycare in a week or two, and he's been having the first real burst of separation anxiety (which probably also makes me more sentimental about the year past). It's also amazing to think that in the past 2-3 months we've transitioned to having someone else take care of Holden for almost half of his waking hours (but I can't imagine how it would have worked any other way -- and the experience is good for Holden, esp. as he moves to a class with more kids his age).

I know that it seems cliche to write about "how much has changed in the past year" or "how fast they grow up," but this is so much different than those times when you sit on your birthday and review the year gone by and the things you've accomplished (ie. got that promotion at work, learned how to tango, traveled to Europe, feel older ... but only slightly and when I look closely at myself in the mirror). For me, today is a much different type of retrospection -- which has left me at a loss to adequately describe the last year, and what to expect from the next year. I do know that every day with Holden in our lives is awesome, and I know that Holden's mom -- and my wife, Bryna -- absolutely rocks! We got through this past year as a team, and I'm looking forward to countless years ahead shared together.

Happy birthday to Holden ... and congratulations to us for making it to this big milestone with our Short Stranger!

Birthday/Halloween Weekend

While Holden doesn't officially turn 1 year old until tomorrow (about 23 hours from now, to be precise), we decided to have his big birthday bash this past Saturday -- the day before Halloween. Other than being an exhausting weekend, it was very fun and Holden had a blast! Both sets of grandparents came into town to see their little guy celebrate the big day, and lots of friends (young and old ... I mean, middle-aged) came, too.

And as with every 1-year-old birthday party, the highlight of the evening was Holden's attempt to eat cake (or cupcake, in this case -- I baked pumpkin cupcakes for the event, which were good except for the frosting). To everyone's chagrin, Holden did not make a huge mess out of his cupcake and get frosting in his hair. He was a bit more meticulous at eating his cupcake, but messy nonetheless.

Sunday was Halloween, so we prepped ourselves and Holden for his first trick-or-treating outing. Holden was a monkey for his first Halloween, and super cute! He loved his costume (and he might even end up wearing it again this fall, since he seemed so cozy in it).

We headed out to my brother's house so that Holden could join his 3 cousins as they ransacked their neighborhood in search of candy. And Holden loved hanging with the older kids, especially his oldest cousin Matt who helped make sure he got candy at each house we stopped at. At the beginning, Holden had no idea what was going on, but by the third house he totally figured out this whole "trick-or-treat" thing -- that was when he toddled up to the front of the group, held his trick-or-treat bag high in the air, and made a sound that might as well have been his version of Adam Sandler's "Hey look at me! Now give me some candy!"

Even though we only stopped at 4 or 5 houses, Holden came away with a small stash of goodies (including a bunch of quarters, and a can of Pepsi ... yes, one of the houses was giving out cans of Pepsi). Before ending the night, we quickly walked down our street with Holden to stop at some neighbors' houses. Hopefully next year we will have the time to be able to decorate more for Halloween (it's kind of a big thing on our street), but our house stayed dark this year.

I'm not going to start reflecting on the year that has passed (that needs a whole other post), but it is crazy to think that a year ago Holden was a bit over 6 pounds and brand new to this world ... and now he's trick-or-treating with his cousins on Halloween.

So Snuggly

A few weeks ago Holden came down with his first major sickness, complete with a 104 degree, and while it was a tough weekend with a long nights, there was a little part of us that loved it too, because our little explorer was just so darn cuddly.

A lot can change in one year...

Man, that's the understatement of the century. At this time last year, we were anxiously anticipating the arrival of the little guy; here's our 39-week bump post from then. He didn't even have a name at this point last year ... just the ubiquitous "short stranger," or "baby awesome." We were as ready as we could get for this life change, and enjoying our last days of freedom (going out, going on walks, enjoying good meals, etc.). About a year ago this weekend, Bryna (toting the Short Stranger) and I went out to Eckert's Farm in Illinois to go pumpkin picking, and to simply spend some time enjoying fall.

One year later, and our lives are quite different. It feels like Holden has been a part of our life for much longer than just under a year (although I suppose if you add 9 months to that, he's been with us for more like just under 2 years). No complaints on this end, though -- things are certainly different, but not in a bad way. Holden has been such a rockstar baby (and now soon to be toddler), and he's been teaching US a lot about life, too. Every week brings challenges, amazing moments, utter silliness, and milestones that seem to blast past us.

Yesterday, we brought Holden out to the same farm/orchard we visited a year ago to do some pumpkin-picking, and he had a blast (although I think Bryna enjoyed the small children's farm more than Holden, with its goats, camel, pigs, and ponies, of course). Another very warm but beautiful fall day, and the drive up the Mississippi River is always stunning.


I have to keep pinching myself that Holden's 1-Year Birthday is just around the corner!! I hope we have enough time in our busy lives to truly savor this moment.

Holden Walks!

OK, so now it's official (without any doubt) -- Holden is walking! Tonight, he all of a sudden decided that it was just his time, and the rest is history (for us, at least). We were not sure if he was going to start walking anytime soon, or just keep taking small bursts of steps each day. Today, I know I was proven wrong. For most of the evening, he walked from one of us to the other without much hesitation. Here's video evidence of his first success at walking.

Now, we enter the new terrifying stage of a baby that walks! Wow! We are so sure that Holden is going to come home from daycare tomorrow with bruises and bumps from falling or tripping as he perfects this new skill ... just wait and see. And we're now pushed to enter a whole new stage of baby-proofing in our house (yikes).

Proud parents, proud baby -- and onward we go at breakneck speed into the life of the once little "Short Stranger."

Chef Holden

No, we haven't forgotten you, readers. We are just very very busy at the moment. To temporarily satiate your interest in the Holden-meister, I present Chef Holden (also known as 'adventures in daycare'). The fact that his teachers could keep this hat on him long enough to take this picture is, in my humble opinion, quite a triumph. I hope this bodes well for his future cooking skills.

sick

I'm not sure if its daycare, changes in the weather, allergies, or all this travel that's making him sick, but Holden's been sporting an off-and-on cold since for almost two months now. (Probably a combination....). And today will be the third time we try to bring him to the doctor, with the hopes that she'll be able to remedy the problem. On the past two occasions Holden merely had a stuffy nose; today he's tired, a bit winy, and feverish. Maybe these colds have finally transformed into an infection in need of antibiotics. In any case, it seems like our luck has run out on having a persistently healthy little one. And it seems the famed curse of daycare holds true for Holden too.

11 Months and a few days

So this month flew by faster than any other, as Holden started daycare, and I started back to school full-time. Holden is enjoying his new daytime hangout quite a bit, as pictured in this photo, in which he's eating his very first pizza. He got to make it himself, which mainly comprised of stuffing shredded cheese into his mouth, apparently.

So much is happening developmentally right now it's hard to chart it right now. He's turning into a toddler right before our eyes. He's picking up words (or what sound something like words), standing on his own, and still so very close to walking. As is always the case we have videos and pictures and thoughts galore that need to be posted. But because life is indeed speeding by, we haven't found the time to post them. Perhaps we'll do a "highlights" post at the 1-yr mark to get it all in. Hard to believe it's been one year.

Holden rocks his first flight ... and wedding

There were two big exciting moments during our recent trip to North Carolina:
1) Bob and Lindsay got married (yay!)
2) Holden took his first flight

To start with, Bryna's brother's wedding was beautiful and lots of fun! They had their wedding outside at a really cool old house in Raleigh, NC. We got to meet Bob and Lindsay's friends in Raleigh, as well as Bob's new in-laws. And Bryna's parents were there, so Holden got to see his grandma and grandpa. We spent lots of time driving around the Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill area, either looking for someone to eat or letting Holden get a nap in the car. The weather was absolutely awesome, and we were so lucky to get there immediately after a Tropical Storm had dropped record rainfall on the entire region.

The other big excitement was Holden's first flight! We had been nervous about this one for months, fearing the worst but hoping for the best. Every time I have flown since Holden's birth and heard a screaming baby, I always thought to myself, "That's going to be Holden one day." But nothing could have been farther from the truth. Holden was a superstar while on the plane. Bryna's mom had purchased Holden an extra seat for him (yes, grandma is pretty smart!), which worked out really well. He was able to just sit in his car seat the whole time. On the flight there, Holden slept for almost half the flight, and quietly played for the remainder of the trip. On the flight back to St. Louis, he slept the entire flight!! Yes, the entire flight! Very awesome!

And Holden loved the wedding, and meeting all these new people. He got to dress up in his fancy outfit (although he had to wear sweatpants, since the pants that came with that outfit were still too big for him). After the ceremony, Holden had to inspect all of the flower petals to see which ones were real and which ones were fake. We stayed at the reception for quite a while, until Holden pooped out and we had to go back to the hotel. All in all, a very fun weekend, and Holden was a rock star!!!

So Close...

...to walking, that is.

Every time Holden stands on his own two feet, with that determined look in his eye, we think--is this the moment? And apparently his daycare seems to be wondering the same thing. Virtually everyone there--from his teachers to the director, is anxiously awaiting the big milestone. He is apparently the only child there on the verge of this life changing event. He's taken a step or two, once or twice--planting his face into the ground. But not quite yet...so close...soo close.

So what do you think? When will Holden take the big leap?

Apple Picking

About two weeks ago, we took Holden out to Centennial Farms to go apple picking. What a great day! Even though we didn't end up picking that many apples, we all had fun -- and Holden got to take a hay ride on a tractor out to the orchard. The only had part about carrying Holden in the Ergo-carrier was that he got clunked in the head a couple times by apples falling out of the trees (esp. when daddy was reaching for the really high ones ... whoops). We've since made homemade applesauce with the apples, which was delicious. Now we're looking forward to some pumpkin-picking in October, which is just around the corner ... yay fall!!!!!

one small step for man...

Although I'm not sure how much of a "giant leap for mankind" this represents, but Holden has been taking his first steps throughout the past week. He's not walking yet, but he is trying so hard to get there. He has been able to stand on his own now for at least a couple weeks, sometimes for quite a long time (esp. if he has toys or snacks in both hands, distracting his attention from the fact that he's not holding on to anything for support). And a couple times this past week, Holden has decided to take some mini steps forward on his own before he crouches down and crawls or sits.

One thing I've decided recently as a parent is that the big "firsts" that are supposed to happen (like first words, first steps, etc.) ... well, there seems to be a lot of gray area here when it comes to defining them. For example, Holden has been saying "dada" off and on for some time -- and probably with some intentionality behind it -- but we're just not sure it's an official 'first word.' He's also working on "uh oh," but is that even a word? Every once in a while, I swear I hear him say something much more complicated (like "elephant"), and then it doesn't happen again -- so does a baby need to say his or her 'first word' a certain number of times for it to count. And how legible does it need to be. Some of Holden's "dada" utterances might be just as random as the times he says things like "elephant" or "I did it" -- but these certainly don't count, right? Another example is this whole 'first steps' thing. Does it count if he isn't walking, or do his official 'first steps' need to be those steps that lead immediately into walking. Sorry for the long tangent here, but someone needs to chime in on these gray areas of parenting sometimes (or we'll all think it's just us that think these things ... and, I know it's not).

On the daycare front, Holden has been continuing to enjoy his days away from home. No consistent napping yet, but they are working to transition him to one nap for his eventual move to the "toddler classroom." But he gets to play with other kids, and do fun activities like painting, playing with water, and International Wearing Pants on Your Head Day (for which we've been preparing Holden with months of practice).
On the other hand, Holden has had this nasty cold (probably a side effect of daycare). Today, the daycare center called us to pick him up since he had a runny nose. After an unnecessary trip to the doctor, we have a letter that will clear him to return tomorrow (but it made for a rather crazy day). I assume this is just the beginning (ugh).

While all of this comes far from being categorized as a "giant leap for mankind," having a child continues to be a "giant leap" for us parents, at least. And an awesome leap, at that.

Pictures from Daycare

Last week Holden's teachers emailed us some pictures of his adventures at daycare, which have included a few guests and trips to the 'library' in the building.And here he is enjoying one of the books from that library, which we don't actually own:

And here he is with a visiting guitar player, which apparently Holden loved. The teachers tell us he loves music. Of course, we already knew this based on his love for his play piano:

Finally, the famous mirror tunnel that seems to be one of Holden's favorite objects in his room. It's also, incidentally, the culprit for almost every scratch and bump he gets at Daycare, since it tends to throw off his balance.

Week 1 Update

It seems like a brief update is in order now that we have officially ended week one of daycare. Things are still bumpy , and Holden hasn't been napping nearly enough, but on Thursday and Friday he figured out how to sleep on his own in his crib, and on Fri he even took a real 1 1/2 hour nap. He was fussy on those last two days though, due perhaps to teething they said--although I have to wonder if it was more the lack of sleep mixed with a small dose of separation anxiety. That said, we have progress on the nap situation and that's good. And even better, he seemed to be able to nap without a problem today for us. Meanwhile, on the parenting side, it seems we need to figure out some issues for us as well. On day 2 we forgot to bring in his lovey (which resulted in a mad rush to the daycare at noon), and on Friday we left daycare without packing up all the bottles. Every morning has been a rushed struggle to get all the supplies in order.

More to come I'm sure. Right now, I'm just happy to enjoy the weekend with the wee one.

some things just never change

How is it that a simple trip to Target to buy some basic baby supplies for Holden's daycare can turn into a deep probing of parental gender bias in American society? Well, I'll tell you.

It all started as I was browsing through the baby clothes department at Target, trying to quickly find something to buy for Holden (on sale, and something that doesn't look stupid ... apparently two tall orders for Target these days -- esp. after they nixed their "Dwell" line of baby clothing). I noticed a couple stacks of t-shirts sitting on a display rack, and then kept on walking -- but my brain said, "wait, WHAT WAS THAT?!?!" So I stepped back, and took a closer look at the graphic on the t-shirts:
So what's wrong with this picture (besides that it's kind of a crappy iPhone snapshot)? It seems all cute and innocent. I can picture it being worn by baby boys attending a Mets game or a Monster Truck Rally with their dads, and people thinking "Oh how cute!" But if you take even a second to really think about what it is saying, it becomes quite terrible in a hurry. Is there really still a pervasive gender preference that fathers have for male babies? Haven't we gotten past that in this country ... in the 21st century. I mean, we get all shocked when we hear stories coming out of China about infanticide and violence against female babies given that country's strong, documented preference for sons. That type of thinking could never happen here. Perhaps this t-shirt I found in Target was made in China (and they are playing a funny yet complex joke on American consumers).

I decided to probe a bit deeper, and found out that this t-shirt might simply be stating the fact. For example, Gallup polls taken since 1941 consistently show that men would rather have a boy by more than a two-to-one margin. A 2007 Gallup poll of adults in the US showed that all people (not just men, but women too) show a rather sizeable preference for boys -- with the top reasons being that "men can relate to boys better than to girls," "boys can carry on the family name," and "boys are easier to raise." Other reasons included "girls are too emotionally and physically weak" and "girls are too high maintenance." So Target probably just did their saavy market research, and they are profitably tapping into our pervasive gender bias that hasn't changed in the US since 1941 (and that's all the rage in China these days, I hear).

I'm waiting for Target to come out with a whole new line of children's toys (made in China, of course) based on the popular poem from the ancient Chinese "Book of Songs":

"When a son is born,
Let him sleep on the bed,
Clothe him with fine clothes,
And give him jade to play...
When a daughter is born,
Let her sleep on the ground,
Wrap her in common wrappings,
And give broken tiles to play..."

First Day of School ... or, Daycare

So today felt like Holden's first day of school ... only he was going to daycare. Either way, the nerves were on edge from the parental side of things. We readied clothes, bottles, and food for Holden, and headed off to the Learning Center this morning. The center is new (with a brand new building), and we have spent over a month learning about their services -- but also coming to the realization that this is one of the only places we could get Holden into without a waiting list. So today, it was game on.

First of all, Holden is in the "Little Dippers" classroom with two other infants (who are 6 weeks old and 3 months old, so the level of play and interaction with other kids seems limited). Other than being a bit peeved that he's not in the same classroom as his girlfriend Isla, he seemed to love it on his first day. All new toys to play with, and a big room to crawl around at break-neck speed. And new people that cater to your every need. Also, no napping (or, at least, very little napping going on today ... but maybe he was just so excited to be in a new place, and it's just not the same as napping at home, that's for sure).

After dropping him off in the morning, Bryna and I went about our separate ways during the day (me at the Museum, and Bryna at the University). Then, around 12:45pm, we both simultaneously decided to pay Holden a visit. Yes, it is possible we missed him, but we also wanted to check up on this whole daycare thing. When we arrived, Holden had just been put in his crib, asleep. Since he had not napped in the morning and played a ton, he was zonked and fell asleep before we got there. And you know what that means -- short nap. Oh, one other thing ... he had also bonked himself in the nose when trying to walk around a piece of furniture they had there in the room. Yes, this is something we're going to have to get used to (and they are, too, at the daycare center). At the end of the day, Bryna picked up Holden and he seemed happy (but tired from not napping all day). He had played to his heart's content and beyond.

So what do the overbearing parents think after one day of having their little sweetie in day care for one day? Well, we're of course suffering from our own case of separation anxiety, which manifests itself in all kinds of questions and accusations directed toward his new care providers. But, in our defense, I think they also have some things to work out. For instance, we worked really hard to sleep train Holden (ie. getting him to learn to fall asleep on his own, and not just from rocking or nursing) -- and I'm not going to let some daycare teacher take that away as they rock Holden to sleep with a bottle (which is what they seemed to do today, but not what we asked them to do). And who sleeps comfortably under the brightest fluorescent lights known to man -- can't we dim those lights a bit! (sorry, but I hate fluorescent lights). OK, ok, I'm going into crazy, overbearing parent mode, but it's rough sending our 'little bug' off to be cared for by strangers, essentially. It's going to take some adjustment time (for us, and the new daycare center). But, I think we'll survive. I mean, does anyone ever like the first day of school?

10 Months

Time has started to blur (as I hear it often does after a baby turns 6 months), and Holden is making the transition from infant to toddler whether we're ready for it or not. This past month has been a bit rough on the little guy, who took his first big vacation, experienced his first real cold/fever last week, and whose been stalled out on teeth number 5 and 6, both of which have caused him woe for weeks. And to top it all off, tomorrow he starts Day Care. In general, though, he's handled these experiences well, and seems to be healthy and ready for his big day tomorrow.

Suddenly the guy has a full head of hair, can speed crawl, and occasionally even braves standing on his own (without help) for little bits of time. He's been cruising along the furniture, chasing cats around the house, and has taken to telling us animated stories in his own infant language. He's also mastered a few signs ("more," "eat" and "milk," of course) that we had been working on teaching him for weeks. And...we think he's picked up a word or two, mainly "daddy," which he's seems to have started saying with purpose. Of course, he also says dadadada all the time, so do what you want with that one!

One Week

Today marks the first week that I return to full-time classes (as a TA, while dissertating), and the last week that I star in the dual roll of full-time student, full-time mom. Yes, Holden is going off to day care next week. How do I feel? Depends on when you ask, but mostly...ready for it.

Yes, I'm sad that our days together will come to an end, but I'm also excited, so very very excited to have uninterrupted work time. The kind of writing-related work time in which you can--if you want--sit alone at your desk reciting your words out loud, to see if they sound as good as they look, and not have to worry about waking anyone up. The kind of work time that involves being able to dive into a theoretically dense text and really, really, spend time wrestling with and conquering it. I'm sure that Mike is ready too--there were some days this summer, when I was trying to balance teaching and parenting, that I think I drove him mad.

I'm also grateful. I'm grateful that I had the rare opportunity to be full-time academic and mom (even it was hard to maintain that balance sometimes), and to be able to fully experience the wondrous thing that is Holden. This was thanks mainly to a husband who wanted to be more than your average dad. The work-life balance is a big messy unresolved issue in academia. There's no way I could have written an article and proposal in the spring, or taught a class in the summer, without him.

So now we wait, excited, nervous about how it will all go for next week.

Evil Prints = Evil Baby ?

This week, Holden has been hanging out with daddy at work a bunch -- a trend that began with an accident in the kitchen in which a pot of hot water slipped out of my hands and landed on Bryna's leg, sending her to the Emergency Room with a 2nd degree burn (and making it a bit difficult to watch Holden at home for a couple days). Needless to say (or perhaps very needed to say), I feel terrible and extremely guilty. So Holden trekked into the Museum with me on Tuesday and Thursday of this week to let mommy rest and stay off her feet. As you can tell from the photographic evidence, Holden had a blast! And he got to play with all his friends at the Museum, and all of their trash and papers.

Today, Holden was fortunate enough to go with me to visit the studio of printmaker Tom Huck, whose studio is called Evil Prints. And right away, we were making jokes about Holden, the evil print baby (I feel like the evil references are a-plenty given his namesake, Holden Caulfield). Some people might think I am crazy bringing a little one with me to Huck's studio (just check out evilprints.com to find out why), but I guess I just don't get all caught up in what he can and cannot see. He's an "art baby," and is going to see a heck of a lot worse than that at some point in his repeat visits to art museums and gallery openings. Perhaps he will get desensitized at a young age, and have a much more mature attitude towards these types of images and content while the rest of his friends just boorishly giggle (and maybe he'll even use the word "boorish" sometimes).

Anyway, Holden loved visiting Huck's studio, and perhaps he's now on the road to becoming a tattooed, underground artist/printmaker who loves Motorhead ... or not.

Cat-and-Mouse games

Holden has quite an imagination nowadays. Often, he pretends that daddy, or sometimes mommy, is chasing him and he'll giggle and crawl as fast as he can to the other parent. Recently he's decided to let the cats join in on this game, even if they have no idea they're involved. So when they start to walk to him he pretends he's being chased (like a mouse I suppose), and skampers away towards mom or dad. When we pick him up he continues to giggle, look back anxiously, and then tries to hide in our laps. We're working on getting a video of it because it's just so darn cute.

New Baby Carrier: Ergo

Have we talked yet about our newest baby carrier obsession, the Ergo? The Ergo is based on the philosophy that a baby should face inward (in other words, opposite of the bjorn), and babies basically 'sit' in them, with their legs wrapped around the parent, snug as a little bug. And the best part? They have lower-lumbar support, so they don't tend to weigh you down the way that bjorns can.
Although we have friends who swear by them, we were a little worried Holden wouldn't enjoy facing inward as much as he loves to face outward in the bjorn. But this new little carrier worked like a charm on our trip to Tennessee. Sure, there were times that he wanted to twist his head around, but when he got sleepy...he had a nice cozy place to fall to sleep. The ergo even has a hood that you can snap over your child's head when they start to nap, so that they can sleep peacefully in the darkness. The carrier seemed perfect for a 9-month old, who is big enough to wrap his legs around our waists, and perfect for us, who miss those days when the little guy would fold into our bodies to fall asleep. He only fell asleep once in the ergo during the trip--when Mike was wearing it, but it was perhaps the most adorable event of the entire vacation.
Yes, we've become those parents who own way-too-many carriers. But each seems to have served a different role at a different developmental period. And we don't regret buying any of them because Holden has loved them (and so have we). Already, we covet those backpack carriers people wear when they hike with toddlers--so I'm sure we'll end up with one of those next. We brought the Ergo on our vacation instead of the stroller because we just couldn't fit our wonderful--yet unwieldy--BOB in the car with everything else. And the wonderful thing about carriers (as opposed to strollers) is that you can hike, or walk in crowded spaces, with them. Which made hiking to "Laurel Falls" and "Clingmans Dome" a possibility.

Biting

A few weeks ago Holden's top two teeth finally popped out, and have been slowly growing since, while his 5th and 6th teeth began their own process of emerging. And since then, Holden's taken to biting not just teething toys, but--on occasion--his mommy and daddy. We think these are mainly 'love bites' probably due in part to our own 'love nibbles' when he was younger, but man does it hurt! He's probably also becoming accustomed to these new top teeth of his which seem far more useful than the first set of teeth.

This biting issue came to a fruition during our vacation, on a trip where he was otherwise perfectly pleasant, and thankfully--we think anyway--we've been able to stop it. How? A simple firm, but unalarming "no biting" whenever he does it. And if we're at home, we also put him down on the ground. We've also been trying to teach him "kisses" and "tickles" instead of bites--and he seems to be learning (he presses his mouth against our arm now instead of biting it.) Our first experience with disciplining seems to be working!

One more note on this biting issue--my mom claims that she used to 'bite me back' when I'd bite. To each there own, I guess, but I think this approach only teaches more bad habits and confuses them. To me, the best way to handle these kinds of situations, especially when they are this young and don't understand what they're doing, is to be firm but not angry, and to provide them with other alternative ways to playfully express themselves. And to give them chances to practice using those new teeth with food. Because new top teeth? How can a baby not be excited about that one?

Pool Shark

One of the more fantastic features in our Gatlinburg, TN, cabin was a billiard table in the second floor loft area. I'm sure this space provides loads of entertainment for groups of adult friends who surely turn this space--complete with balcony and flat-screen TV--into a party area. But for us, it provided a chance to introduce Holden to fine art of pool. The little H-bomb got a huge kick out of watching us hit the balls about, and enjoyed his own time playing a little billiards himself:

He was, of course, of course, fascinated by the sound the balls made when he dropped them:

And like most objects in this world, they were apparently, delicious: