'now life begins': a reflection on year one

Exactly one year has passed since our little Short Stranger came into our lives, and, I have to admit, reflecting on the last 365 days is not an easy task. Perhaps part of my problem is that the past year has felt like ten years -- mostly because a life without Holden seems so distant and unfathomable. My entire being has changed since this day last year, often in ways that seem difficult to describe. Before Holden was born, people tried to explain how much things would change and what it would mean to have a whole new life to care for (and I'm sure I try to tell that to other people a bunch now, too). For me, it did not begin to sink in until a tiny newborn Holden grabbed a hold of my finger in his first few moments of life outside the womb -- and I thought to myself ... "now life begins."


In another way, the past year has gone by in a flash. I can't believe Holden is one year old! He is no longer a baby, but is becoming a boy. He's moving up to the toddler room at daycare in a week or two, and he's been having the first real burst of separation anxiety (which probably also makes me more sentimental about the year past). It's also amazing to think that in the past 2-3 months we've transitioned to having someone else take care of Holden for almost half of his waking hours (but I can't imagine how it would have worked any other way -- and the experience is good for Holden, esp. as he moves to a class with more kids his age).

I know that it seems cliche to write about "how much has changed in the past year" or "how fast they grow up," but this is so much different than those times when you sit on your birthday and review the year gone by and the things you've accomplished (ie. got that promotion at work, learned how to tango, traveled to Europe, feel older ... but only slightly and when I look closely at myself in the mirror). For me, today is a much different type of retrospection -- which has left me at a loss to adequately describe the last year, and what to expect from the next year. I do know that every day with Holden in our lives is awesome, and I know that Holden's mom -- and my wife, Bryna -- absolutely rocks! We got through this past year as a team, and I'm looking forward to countless years ahead shared together.

Happy birthday to Holden ... and congratulations to us for making it to this big milestone with our Short Stranger!