Tongue-tastic!

Daddy taught Holden a new trick (or "bad habit," depending on how you look at it) ... sticking out his tongue. This all started a couple months ago when Holden would laugh at me when I would stick out my tongue or make say "la-la-la." He kind of started sticking out his tongue then, but recently he has found a real liking to sticking his tongue way out of his mouth.

But he's in good company, right?

Nap Training

For the one or two of you still curious about Holden's every sleeping moment, we are now officially in the midst of the dreaded nap training. By all accounts that we've read online and in our trusty books, nap training is a lot harder than night sleep training. First there's the fact that they're just not as tired as they are at the end of the day. Then there's the timing issue--of when to put them down. Do you base it on a specific time of the day regardless of how tired they look, or do you try to sync it with their rhythms? What happens if they're overtired and/or cry through the entire nap period? And what happens if they only sleep 1 hour one time and 2 hours the next? How many naps should a 4-month old take, anyway? You get the picture...

This is why many experts, including Mindell, suggest you get your night sleep situation completely figured out first, and then wait at least two weeks until beginning the nap training. Some of our friends, on the other hand, have suggested we do both at the same time (why prolong the pain?). We decided to split the difference and start the nap training about a week after beginning sleep training, because 1) we had the sneaking suspicion that the bad habits during the day were affecting his nighttime routine, and 2) I just got fed up one day with going through the elaborate schemes that would work to put the poor boy to sleep. And we probably would have started it even sooner if it weren't for the fact that naps are such complicated business, and I am (perhaps infamously so) a very indecisive person and just couldn't figure out how to best attack the problem.

Luckily my exasperation trumped my indecisiveness, and last Thursday when he started to look tired at about the time he usually goes down to sleep, I did our little singing routine, turned on the sound machine and some lullaby music, kissed him and put him in his crib, and walked away. And then...he cried for an ENTIRE HOUR while I gingerlycame in at regular intervals to console. Oy vay. I got him up, started the whole thing again around the time that he usually has his second nap, and again the little guy did not sleep. By 3 pm, Mike (who was working from home that afternoon) gave up, and let the poor little guy sleep in his arms while he watched some TV.

I had expected and feared that this was how the first day would go (which is yet another reason why I had been delaying this process), and thus felt defeated that evening and wondered if we were doing something wrong. But then something happened. That night, for the first time, he fell asleep within 20 minutes. And the next day, he followed suite with two of the three of his naps. Granted he would only sleep about 30 minutes at a time, but he did it by himself! We've been having our up and down days ever since, but his naps have been getting longer (2 hours yesterday morning!), and with the exception of a few bumps here and there the crying has been significantly decreasing. It's not gone yet, but I feel like we're on our way.

Why are we so into this sleep training thing? Well, before, I would play an hour long (or more) dance that involved nursing, swaying, and carefully putting him in bed asleep, only to have him wake up and scream, prompting me to do the whole thing over again. The problem had gotten so bad last week that I was resorting to either nursing him in our bed and then lying there quietly until he woke up, or driving him around on the interstate for 40 minutes (no back roads; this kid likes speed). Do this everyday and this is enough to drive anyone insane.

We're still working out some of the kinks, shifting the times here and there each day as we attempt to figure out his sleepy "zone," as one of our friends calls it, but things are starting to feel normal again. Just now he fell asleep with only 2 minutes of tired fussing, which counts as a big huzzah for me. And now, even in those 30 min. catnaps, I feel like I can have a little time to get something done. Aah, when he's older, and his naps consolidate from 3 short ones to one heavenly long one: I can't wait for that day.

Cats vs. Baby: for Crying out Loud

There's a war on in our house, and it's no longer between Holden and sleep. No, I'm talking about us vs. the cats, or more specifically, Mike vs. this beast of ours:

Otherwise known as Fred.

Ever since Holden came home from the hospital, Mike and I have been locking the cats in the basement at night to avoid any trouble for all involved as we tend to the baby overnight. The cats have meowed from time to time from behind the door, but until recently the problem has been minimal. But this week, as we've been working on helping Holden learn how to sleep, Fred has (strategically?) decided to up the volume. And...he's decided to wait to meow until Holden goes to sleep, of course. So one set of cries ends and another begins, and it's not like we can let Fred "cry it out," since he a) might wake the baby, and b) will drive us insane, since as those of you who have met Fred know, this cat can has no ordinary meow.

To combat this unique form of torture that Fred has been inflicting upon us, Mike has decided to spray him with water. But since we don't have a spray bottle in the house, he's been filling a baby bottle with water, opening the basement door when Fred yells, and promptly squirting him. Yes, a baby bottle. Because that's the way we roll around here.

The first Botanical Gardens trip (ex-utero, that is)

Because it was unseasonably warm on Saturday, Mike and I decided to take Holden to one of our favorite St. Louis sites, the Missouri Botanical Gardens. The last time the two of us had been there was three days before Holden was born, during an unproductive attempt to walk my way into labor. This time, the Gardens were holding their annual orchid show, so we took a quick jaunt around the exhibit and then headed out to the Japanese Gardens for a walk. Holden loved it! I thought for sure that he would fall asleep in his stroller to the rhythm of the movements, but instead he wanted to get out and experience the place in full, which I suppose is to be expected since this was one of the first days he's been able to spend time outside since he was born.

Below are more pictures from the day. Yes, he's definitely rocking the patterns. Mike put that ensemble together before the two of them picked me up at the coffee shop for the outing. I think it's the yellow socks that really complete that outfit!

Sleep Update: End of Week #1

So we've now gone for 8 straight nights of sleep training using the Mindell method (a modified Ferber method). And if you've been following my posts, you're probably sick of reading about this -- which is why I've waited a couple days to provide another update. Well, and I was just too excited tonight not to post about this project. So here's the summary from nights 6-8:

Night #6: just like the fifth night, this was somewhat demoralizing. Holden cried for 42 minutes, making this the worst night (for all of us). He was extremely fussy at bedtime, which might have been a true sign of this whole "extinction burst" thing that I kept trying to convince myself was happening each night.

Night #7: major break-through ... Holden only cried for 19 minutes. This was a full day of nap training that just about killed Bryna and myself (I came home to watch Holden and to be here when the plumber showed up, since our sewer pipe was backing up ... which added to the stress). We did make a couple changes to the bedtime and naptime situation, including adding some white noise using a sound machine and putting one of Bryna's shirts tied in knots in Holden's crib. Overall, this night was a huge moment, but only if it lasts...

Night #8 (tonight): Holy schnikes! Holden only cried 9 minutes tonight (and that was after a particularly fussy bedtime). Can I get a "boo-ya, grandma"!!! While the 19 minutes the previous night could have been a fluke, now I truly believe this is working, and that we're making major progress. What a freakin' relief! I had confidence that we could make it through this and that Holden would respond well, but those nights when he cried for 40-42 minutes were enough to make me question this whole method and process. But now I am leaning back toward worshiping Dr. Mindell (and the general belief in the whole "cry-it-out" sleep training method). Even our soon-to-be new pediatrician was completely in support of this sleep training (which boosted our confidence as this week neared its end). So anyway, without going on forever, we're just so glad that Holden is turning a corner here on this whole going-to-sleep thing. I feel like he's never quite ready to give in until mommy and daddy go through some serious stress, doubt, and a bit of crying.

Now it's time for Bryna and I to relax, have some of her patented Spicy Penne, some good Italian wine, and bask in the progress of the past week (and maybe even watch a movie ... how crazy would that be?!?!?!?). Not that this is over yet (because I'm not that stupid), but it's going in a good direction, which kind of re-energizes us and puts some much-needed wind behind our sails again.

p.s To all of you fellow parents who have sent us your own advice and success stories of sleep training through blogs, Facebook, or e-mail, a huge thanks! It means a lot to us to have a support community out there, even if it stretches from New York and Washington, DC, to Chicago and Austin, Texas.

Someone please pinch me, part 2

I might be jinxing it here, but I think...Holden just fell asleep on his own during nap time after less than 10 min of fussing (my kinder word for "crying"). More to come soon on this development!

Someone please pinch me, I'm dreaming...

Holden fell asleep by himself this morning in his crib -- he just fell asleep laying there with some toys. I think those other new parents reading this will understand why this is post-worthy, and why I need someone to pinch me or something. Yay!

Sleep Update: CIO Nights 4 and 5

Just really quick, so after 40 minutes of crying last night (Night #4), Holden slept for 12 hours straight (which is really crazy, but great!).

And a brief summary of Night #5: Holden cried for 38 minutes total tonight ... again. How long he sleeps tonight is of little consequence to me now, since I'm much more concerned about him shortening the duration of his crying at bedtime -- if it doesn't shorten soon, I'm going to start getting concerned that we're confusing him by not taking this approach at nap time, and we might need to start that project sooner rather than later). I know this will all seem less painful and simpler in hindsight, but it's starting to seem more complicated and more problematic the longer it lasts.

And I did find a great dad blog called DadWagon written by a group of journalist-fathers, and I found a set of postings entitled "Sleep Training: A Necessary Evil, or Just Evil?" Here's my fave quote (among MANY) from these posts:

"I think I had a harder time letting my kid cry it out before I realized the vast universe of things that make my kids wail. Can’t wear a specific pair of pajamas? They cry. Offered vegetables one too many times? They cry. It makes you realize that not every fit is a deep referendum on their parent’s love. Just today, my 21-month-old son cried because I didn’t let him play with the dog’s water bowl at our friends’ house. Nobody would think I was being cruel or scarring my kid. There are some things that you just have to draw the line at, and let the kid cry if he wants about it. I think sleep is one of those things."

I'll post again on this subject only if we have any developments -- as some of you may be tired of reading about our sleep training on a daily basis ... pun intended ; )

Sleep Update: CIO Night #3 (and NIght #4, early edition)

I must start to a warning to all readers of this post: I am writing this as I implement Night #4 with Holden crying loudly in the background. So my apologies for typos, nonsensical language, or sudden changes in mood. [I actually already went in and edited it some]

So, Night #3 is in the past, and it (again) was not the worst thing that could have happened. In brief, Holden cried for 33 minutes, and after checking on him 3 times, he fell asleep around 8:15pm. His wails reached that new vocal range that only infants seems to get to (although sometimes our cat Alice has been able to reach that pitch during baths, but not the volume). He did not wake or stir much after that, and slept a whopping 11 hours straight (again, not something we're aiming at, but I suppose we just count our blessings when this happens and don't question it). He woke up around 7am, and this time he wasn't madly hungry but was a bit more of his delightful morning self (smiling and giggling some -- which is so important for me to experience, to reassure me ... and Bryna ... that this process is not "damaging" him or negatively impacting his relationship to either of us).

OK, its about time for me to go in and check on Holden at the 10-minute mark (and he's really howling now ... boy this REALLY sucks sometimes). Let's hope he starts to figure this out, and reduces his crying soon. Keep your fingers crossed for me as the night continues.

...

Quick update: Things are not going very well here on Night #4. I'll give a final update tomorrow, but he's been doing some weird off-and-on crying, and we're past 40 minutes now (the longest yet -- maybe this is what is clinically referred to as the "extinction burst"). OK, now our phone is ringing ... I wish a long and painful death to the telemarketer calling us at this hour (it's probably the Democratic Party or something like that -- if it wakes him, I'm voting for Mickey Mouse in every election for the rest of my life). See, I told you I would be random and cranky ; )

Valentines Day with Dad

Yesterday Mike and Holden surprised me by stopping by the local coffee shop, Gelateria del Leone, where I was normally study on the weekends. A little snow and wind didn't stop them from making the trip. The two looked so cute all bundled up together with the bjorn, although all of us are getting a little anxious for warmer weather, when the outfit Mike's wearing here would be a little more appropriate for the outdoors!

CIO: Mom/Snowstorm/Valentines Day edition

We're currently on day 3 of our Mindell bedtime sleep project, and because it's snowing here in the 'Lou I can't leave the house as I usually do. So what am I up to? Well, because I can't bear to hear the little guy cry, and because we're trying to break him of the nursing association, I have been doing what I can to avoid the situation: I'm sitting in our sad little unfinished basement with the cats, with headphones on listening to music, waiting for my cue to go upstairs. I should be working on school work, who could concentrate on that at a time like this?

Yes, this is how we're spending our first Valentines Day as parents. Thankfully, I've just gotten a text from Mike that Holden is now quiet, so we're just waiting to make sure this is it. And then we'll snuggle up to some Olympics, some chocolate, and some wine! And really, Mike's hard efforts here are about the best gift he could ever give.

Of course, I'll let Mike post his experience at a later time.

Sleep Update: CIO Night #2

If you're tuning in to this blog today, you're probably one of the people thinking, "What happened during the second night? Did he cry more, less, or did everything come to a crashing halt as Mike caved in to Holden's crying?" If you're thinking that last part ... come on, give me some credit here. I'm going to stick this one out, if only due to the pressure of having people checking-in on our blog ; )

First of all, a quick nap update. We're not doing the Mindell sleep method with naps yet, since her book recommends that parents fix sleep problems by working in this order: bedtime routine, bedtime, naptime routine, naptime. We're at the bedtime stage of the project, and naps will come next. But Holden is having real trouble with napping, and we're just doing whatever it takes to get him to nap at all during the day (car rides, rocking, etc.). You'd think this would completely contradict our efforts with sleep training at bedtime, but several sleep experts claim that babies nighttime sleep patterns/behaviors and daytime nap patterns/behaviors are actually processed separately in their brain, so messing with one does not necessarily mean that the infant makes a connection with the other. I'm not sure I'm 100% convinced of this, but I'm giving these "specialists" the benefit of the doubt. The photo to the right is taken during one of yesterday's car rides to get Holden to nap (which failed -- as you can tell in the photo, which was taken by me reaching my iPhone over the seat at a stop light and taking a snapshot to check on him ... a hint we got from our friend Elissa).

OK, now on the main event -- Night #2 of the Mindell sleep training. Holden got tired pretty early in the evening, and so I started the bedtime routine a bit early (about 6:45pm-ish). Holden got fed, and then we went through the standard diaper changing, pajamas, reading a book (we actually read 3 last night), and then singing before going to the crib. I swaddled him, laid him down, and simply said "It's time to go to sleep. Good night, Holden," and left the room. He did not cry for about 2 minutes, but then it began. The experts all say that the second night is the worst, so I was prepared for quite the evening. I did the incremental check-ins at 5 min., 15 min., and 30 min., and Holden cried for just about 40 minutes until he was able to sooth himself (so only about 10 minutes longer than last night, which is not too bad). While the duration of his crying wasn't terrible, Holden made it into a whole series of cries and screams that I will not describe here. But after he stopped, it sounded like he was able to calm himself by sucking on his hand or thumb, and then go to sleep. Unfortunately, after an hour, we woke up again, but miraculously was able to sooth himself back to sleep (which was a big moment for my little buddy!). After about 2 hours of sitting upstairs and standing-by, I went downstairs to text Bryna about the evening's events (and had a "reward" glass of vino). All in all, Night #2 was not that bad, considering that some infants can cry for 2 to 3 hours on the second night (I would have never been able to make it through that).

After he went to sleep, Holden was able to stay asleep until 4am (which is actually what we want -- not necessarily to sleep through the entire night until morning at this point, since he is still needing that nighttime feeding). And then after a quick feeding, he slept until a little after 7am. So he was able to sleep for about 11-11.5 hours last night, which is great since he's still not napping great during the day (although he's been already doing better on that front today, with 2 decent naps under his belt and one more to go).

We're hanging in there, with Night #3 coming up tonight. I'll try to provide another update tomorrow if I can find the time.

The Bedtime Battle: Why I'm not there

While taking a break at the coffee shop today (it's "Weekends with Dad" time, aka my PhD work hours), I logged on to facebook to discover Mike's post on his big ole' sleep project of the week and realized some of you may be wondering why I'm not there to join him in the fuss fest. Yes, as Mike has noted, it's partly because of our co-parenting commitment and our decision that Mike can take this one for the team. And yes, I really do need a break after the breastfeeding battle that consumed my life the first 6 weeks of parenthood (a topic deserving a real post at some point).

But the real reason comes down to this--if we're going to help Holden get the sleep he needs, we have to break him from his worst sleep habit: nursing-to-sleep. And frankly, since I know that nursing does indeed take the tears away, it's hard for me to keep myself from running to his aid if I'm anywhere nearby. So for the next few nights I'm taking a breather, seeing friends, doing our grocery shopping, and going to the movies. Whatever it takes to stay away. Because Holden can't always get what he wants, as the Rolling Stones would say, but hopefully, he'll get the sleep he needs.

Sleep Update: CIO Night #1

OK, so the sleep battle entered a new level last night, with daddy bringing in the big guns (ie. a little help from psychologist & sleep specialist Dr. Jodi Mindell and her book Sleeping Through the Night). While there are about a million different ways of saying "cry it out" without using those three hated words, I'm just going to go ahead and call Mindell's sleep method one of your basic modified "cry it out" techniques-- or CIO, for those of us obsessing about it.

The Ferber method is the most commonly known (and chided) of these techniques. In fact, the new hit show "Modern Family" poked fun at Ferberizing recently (see clip below -- love it!).


Mindell's technique is really a modified Ferber, but all-in-all the goal is for baby to become a self-soother (so that they can put themselves to sleep at bedtime instead of requiring holding, nursing, rocking, repeat, repeat -- a pattern Holden was getting quickly accustomed to at bedtime). It's not nearly as extreme as "Modern Family" shows it, but also not nearly as funny. For some basic info. on Mindell, and to hear her talk about her perspective, check out her appearance on the TODAY Show last year.

So, back to last night (and I'm going to give a detailed account here, since such details from other people have been SO helpful for me in this process). While I had been reading up and studying Mindell's sleep method (to have in my arsenal in the battle against bad sleep habits), I had no intention of starting it this weekend. After a shortened bedtime routine with Holden, he began to fuss and cry, and would not even go near his crib without kicking and crying. Rocking, swaying, rocking, shushing, singing ... nothing worked, and we did this for about an hour (the last 30 minutes of which Holden just simply cried his heart out). Due to my own frustration, I laid Holden down in his crib to simply gather myself. And, of course, my thoughts quickly went to Mindell and her technique, and all the people recently who have said to try one of the CIO methods since they really work (in as little as 2-3 days, and then baby can be a sleep champion). Holden was already crying, and I didn't know what to do except give-in and try Mindell's technique. So I texted Bryna (who had left the house for me to have the space to do this 'sleep project'), and we both agreed to go in this direction.

I let Holden cry for 5 minutes, then I went in and checked on him to reassure him, but did not pick him up or try to sooth him. I left, and sat in the other room -- reading Mindell's troubleshooting sections a third time so that I would be prepared for anything that could happen. I was able to remain composed for 10 minutes, and then went in to reassure Holden and check on him quickly (still wailing). I returned to the bedroom, told Jodi Mindell's book that I would burn it if this didn't work, and then ... all of a sudden, something changed ... the crying stopped. What??? Is he OK? I turned on the motion sensor we have on our baby monitor to make sure everything was good, and it was (of course). After 28 minutes of crying, Holden had stopped and began to sooth himself (likely with his hand, since I did hear some sucking sounds). And that was it. I sat in the bedroom for another 30 minutes waiting, mostly in disbelief, but he was asleep. I hesitantly texted Bryna with an update (mostly worried that I would jinx everything): "Not bad. I told you we could do it." She replied "Wow that's better than I thought it'd be!"

So how long did Holden then sleep for that first CIO night, you might ask? Well, let me tell you. He slept straight through the night for 10 hours ... yep, 10 hours!! Boo-Ya, Grand-Ma!!!!

I don't want to get ahead of myself, but thanks to Jodi Mindell (there she is on the right) -- who, if this works, will be in my good graces for many years to come. If it doesn't end up working, I may still burn her book ; )

Team Holden & Daddy take on Sleep again tonight for round 2 of the CIO (cry-it-out) solution. We'll give another update tomorrow (not as detailed, I promise).

Ain't Nothin' But a Sleep Thang

Well, it seems that at just over 3 months old, the sleep battle may have begun this week. It's all Holden vs. falling asleep on his own, and it might get ugly soon. This past week, to help solve the nursing-to-sleep associations for Holden, we decided that sleep would be daddy's project -- and if we're really going to give this "co-parenting" stuff the old college try, this would only make sense (since Bryna had more than enough stress and frustration with the breastfeeding project).

Night #1 was a real cage match between Holden and daddy, with it taking several attempts to get Holden to fall asleep in his crib (finally caving-in and allowing him to fall into a deep sleep in my arms, and then slowly transitioning him to his crib without him even knowing it was happening). He woke up twice during the night.

Night #2, Bryna and I decided it might be best if she left the house (to go to the gym, which is something we both thought we'd have time for after Holden was born ... huh, whatever). I spent lots of time with Holden, who was very awake, trying to sooth and rock him. After the process gave me a migraine headache, I simply sat in the rocking chair with him until he fell deep asleep (and in the process, so did I ... briefly). I laid him down in his crib VERY carefully, and slowly slid my hand out from under his head one millimeter at a time (seriously). It's like playing that old game "Operation," trying to be a careful as possible or ... ZAP!!! goes the buzzer and you've lost. Same deal here. Holden stayed asleep, and I crashed on the couch downstairs with some Advil and my own blankie (yes, I needed to be soothed now). Holden woke up twice again that night, but the second time (at 5:30am) we decided NO FEEDING and he would need to deal with it (which he did).

Night #3 is coming up tonight ... and I'm sure it has lots of fun in store. Do we dare try one of the "cry-it-out" methods or a variation?? How long until Holden can fall asleep without the careful and time-consuming rocking, feeding, and comforting that allows daddy to get him in a deep enough sleep to lay him down in the crib without waking (tricking him into the crib, essentially).

I'll keep you posted. And I swear that there's a full "co-parenting" post on its way (it's in my head, I just can't find the time to blog as much these days ... wonder why).

3 Months!

Last week our little pumpkin baby turned 3 months old, and we could hardly believe how quickly time has flown! Sometimes Mike and I feel like if we blink we'll miss something, Holden changes and grows so fast. He's now crossing the threshold between 0-3 mth clothes and 3-6 mth clothes (a fact we're particularly proud of since he started out so small). I now understand why some parents want to have a second baby so quickly after the first--I already miss him as a little tiny newborn. But don't get any ideas--we're plenty busy with one baby right now.

Since Holden's 1-month birthday, we've learned that he is indeed the active baby we initially thought he was. He loves his tummy time, has suddenly become determined to try to sit up on his own (he fusses if we hold him at his waist), and he has always resisted naps. Luckily, with the exception of some fluke nights, he's a pretty good night sleeper.

And if anyone is curious about the color of those eyes or that hair (what little he has)--both are still a bit of a mystery. His hair started out with a slight red in it, which still comes through in a certain light, but as it grows and starts to thicken it seems more blondish-brown. And his eyes are so dark they're almost black. Sometimes they look a deep slate blue, sometimes brownish or hazel. Since I have dark brown eyes, and since his eyes haven't lightened at all yet, we're guessing they'll probably be brown.

And the new parents? We feel like we've gone through a dozen mini-crises, enough now that we're starting to have a sense of humor about them (I hope...). First he wouldn't breast feed, then he wouldn't bottle feed, then he wouldn't sleep at night, then he wouldn't nap, then shots, then a cold, then...well, you get the picture. Pretty much the typical life of parents. And then there's our desire to share the parenting--to be as egalitarian as we can. It's a challenge to co-parent when one of us has to bring home the proverbial bacon, and it's complicated by the fact that I'm on leave but am still working on my dissertation, but we think we've done a pretty good job so far. But that is a topic that is continuing to evolve, and is worth a post or two from each of us. So stay tuned.

Advice

As any new parent knows, there are a lot of books, websites, pediatricians, and general schools of thought out there about how to raise a child--so much that it can be a bit overwhelming. There are "philosophies," if you will, about feeding, sleeping, learning, you name it. The whole business of raising a kid has become, well, a business--a major cottage industry that extends at least back to the famous Dr. Spock, though probably much earlier.

As a new parents feeling things out for the first time, we've found it hard not to get wrapped up in all of this, but then we remind ourselves that human beings have been doing this for centuries, so a lot of this has to be intuitive. And as we've quickly learned, some of the best advice comes from seasoned parents who buck the trends. Without further ado, here are some of the best tips that I've received so far:

1) "Whatever works." This is my favorite bit of advice, by far, especially when it flies in the face of whatever the experts say you are "supposed" to do. The best example in our little world is that Holden had trouble breast feeding, so I ended up using "nipple shields," which is a no no for many lactation consultants because they supposedly teach them "bad habits." But they worked for us, and we learned through the process that Holden would nurse when he was ready. And now..the little guy eats like a champ.

2) "Two Weeks." This is advice that we got from our old college friend Amy, who has her own parenting blog. And seriously, we need to post this in big letters around our house. In a nutshell, her advice is that whatever is going on, whatever you think is a problem--wait two weeks before you change anything drastic. Babies change so quickly and are so variable that the fussiness one day, or sleeping problem, may just be a fluke. Hard to follow since as new parents we tend to obsess about any changes we see, which is exactly why it is such great advice.

3) "It's only a problem if you think it is." Okay, so I got this one from a book (Elizabeth Pantley's "No-Cry Sleep Solution"), but it's good advice nonetheless. As she points out, there are a lot of social pressures out there about parenting; make sure you are making changes for you and not because somebody said you should make the change.

4) "It doesn't get any easier, but it does get more fun." I don't remember who told me this one, but I think it's so very true. The first few weeks are really hard, and while newbies are cute, it's hard to really connect with them until they start to smile.

5) "They're only little for a short time, so enjoy it." Mike's favorite advice, which is why he so treasures letting Holden nap in his arms almost every Saturday afternoon.

6) "As soon as you think you have it figured out, there's something new." Yup. Soo very true.

Then and Now

On Thursday Holden will be 3 months old! Funny how time flies--and how quickly babies can change before your eyes. For the sake of comparison, I thought it would be fun to post a picture of Holden taken from the first week, next to a picture I took yesterday, both of them featuring the same swaddling blanket. Enjoy!

Week 1:

Approx. 3 months: