the big read...

so, we've decided to start reading to our future baby while he's still in the womb. Research clearly indicates that babies can hear sounds from inside the womb by 20 weeks or earlier, and they can begin to recognize their parents voices. What better way to connect (or "bond") with our 'babe' than by reading to it each night before we go to bed. We're starting with some classics, and we'll see if we get any kicks of approval.

Maybe by the time Short Stranger is born, reading these same books will have a calming effect -- some research does suggest that newborn babies can sometimes recognize an actual story read to it repeatedly while in the womb. I figured that reading a book would be more calming for all involved than listening repeatedly to Black Eyed Peas' "Boom Boom Pow" (certainly to have a shorter shelf-life than MJ's greatest hits).

22 weeks!

Today we're at 22 weeks (+ 1 day), or just past the point of "comfortably pregnant." Past comfortable mainly because it's so hot here in the Lou. Yesterday I spent two hours at the zoo and thought I was going to die.

Anyway, this is a big week because it's the last time Short Stranger's future nursery is serving as our guest room. Our friend Becca is trying to beat the heat with us this weekend on her annual visit, and official nesting begins upon her departure on Sunday. This is also a big week, as Mike has already announced, because the dad-to-be has felt the baby. And according to most sources, Mr. Stranger is around 1 lb--another big pregnancy milestone.

Babycenter.com has this info for the week:

At 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you'd be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers his body and the deep wrinkles on his skin, which he'll sport until he adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside his belly, his pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily.

Whoah, be careful out there prego ladies!

There seems to be a connection between exposure to hot, humid weather and premature labor. So drink water and stay cool.

p.s. maybe this explains why Bryna didn't post an update yesterday on the baby's development and fruit-size comparison.

Wanted: A Small Step for Fathering

OK, I'm not sure if this will all come out and make logical sense right now, but I wanted to begin posting my growing questions and concerns about the stereotyping of fathers' roles in parenting (I reserve the right to revise my comments later as I have more time to think). As we've been going to baby stores, reading about pregnancy and raising a child, etc., I've been noticing what a rather small minority of new fathers must notice -- there is a lot of gender stereotyping going on. Is this world really more open to men who share the parenting commitment with their spouses? How many small (and large) barriers and annoyances will I encounter as I take a shared role in raising our son?

What sparked this? Well, for one thing, we really wanted to find an outfit for our son-to-be that said something connecting Father and Son (you know, for Father's Day). With the exception of a couple obnoxiously masculine baseball outfits with sayings like "Daddy's Hero" and things like that, there was pretty much nothing. However, lots of "Daddy's Little Girl." Is there something wrong in this society with a father connecting to his son as a parent? On the flip side, is there something wrong with a mother connecting with her daughter (there were also no Mommy-Daughter sayings on clothing)? So the corporate clothing manufacturers/designers are already determining parenting roles and parent-child relationships before the child is even born. And the color split in the stores is really annoying: blue and brown to the right, pink and yellow to the left . . . and DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS!

OK, so clothing is really insignificant in the whole scheme of things. What else sparked this? Here's a great NY-Times blog post I read recently which sums up a lot of my existing concerns and frustrations: "Changing the Language of Fatherhood." More power to you. I agree with the "Mommy & Me" focus of most parent-child classes (although our local YMCA does offer some general classes that do not specify "mommy," which I was happy to see). I would go a bit farther than Mr. Dreilsma and complain about the lack of expectant father and father parenting blogs that actually talk about anything real (other than tech gadgets and unrealistic gear). There are a couple good ones out there, but nothing in comparison to all the sites geared completely towards expectant and new mothers. I'm not expecting any level of equality on this, but would love to see more fathers blog about just parenting (and nix the tech-centric, BoBo, witty postings -- something I'm admittedly working on myself).

One final hurdle for new fathers -- lack of changing tables in men's public restrooms. Andrew Newman wrote a good piece on this recently in the NY Times, with blogger Greg Allen doing some field research on how many restrooms for men really had changing stations . . . not many.

So I'll keep posting any thoughts I have on this male parent gender role thing. Maybe I'll make more sense the next time.

Happy Father's Day Mike!!

I wanted to send a shout-out to the dad-to-be today. I know you'll be an playful, loving, and downright awesome father! Here's hoping that our son will be as happy and chill as you were in this picture.

And while I'm on the topic, a WOOT WOOT to my own dad as well on this Father's Day! Along with my mom you gave me a love of the outdoors and an enduring curiosity. And apparently, you were never afraid to let me get a little messy:

Was that a kick, an elbow, or a nudge?

It really doesn't matter, because I GOT TO FEEL THE BABY MOVE this morning for the first time!! Needless to say (although I'll say it anyway), VERY exciting! I had not expected to feel the baby move for several weeks, even though Bryna has been feeling movements for a while now. While I know this news (like healthcare, the incidents in Iran, etc.) will certainly fade to the background due to the arrival of the new iPhone 3GS, but it's at the top of my headlines -- sorry, I had to make a subtle dig at the iPhone craze; just wait till I upgrade to the next iPhone that will Tweet on its own, stream realtime HD video to the entire universe, cook, clean, and change our baby's diapers for us ; )

I'm not sure it was an official kick, since it felt like the baby was kind of rolling or changing positions when I felt it "nudge" against my hand. So I'll officially categorize this as a nudge. I am looking forward to an official "kick."

I also bought a little outfit for Short Stranger today (kind of a father's day gift for myself, since I wanted to get it so bad). It is dinosaur themed, but I would have gotten it even if we were having a girl -- it was irresistable, and the socks have little dinosaur claws on them.

21 Weeks

Today I read in two different resources that I should be "comfortably pregnant" right now. I think they tell you this at 21 weeks because after the big ultrasound week of excitement, the next week is fairly uneventful. Not a lot of changes, and I don't really think that the bump has gotten much bigger. But I guess this description is accurate. I've been "feeling" pregnant for a while now, and not awkwardly or painfully so. And I can still bend over to tie my shoes (for how much longer, I'm not sure...).

The only big news is that we took the Short Stranger on a 5k Komen Breast Cancer Walk on Saturday to raise money for a cure, and we survived with only one very necessary bathroom break! Even got a a bit of a tan.

This week, the Short Stranger has only grown a wee bit, from the length of a banana to that of a carrot. So not much. A much bigger growth spurt is coming soon though, since we've got about 6-8 pounds to go. Babycenter.com writes this:

Your baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. You may soon feel like she's practicing martial arts as her initial fluttering movements turn into full-fledged kicks and nudges. You may also discover a pattern to her activity as you get to know her better. In other developments, your baby's eyebrows and lids are present now, and if you're having a girl, her vagina has begun to form as well.

Short Stranger pictures coming soon, we promise! We have about an album's worth already.

The Great N/A Competition: Wine Edition

Sometimes, on those cool early summer nights, a gal doesn't just crave beer, she craves wine! And luckily, Sutter Home, of all companies, produces and "alcohol removed" wine they cleverly call "Fre." Fre can be found at almost any grocery store, and was perfect this afternoon when the in-laws stopped by for drinks before dinner.

Now Fre is not the same as real wine, but when it's warm out and grape juice just doesn't come even close, this N/A wine will do the trick. Like wine, it has a dry quality to it, and could even be mistaken for some of the lower grade fruity wines you can find in Missouri's wine country.

It comes in four varietals: white, table red, merlot, and what else but white zinfindel. Though the red varietals are a bit off, the white and white zin aren't too far from the originals. This is perhaps because they're chilled, and because white zin is a bit sweet anyway. Best drunken ice cold. Good as part of a wine "spritzer," with some sparkling water added in, or even--dare I say--with ice. But it MUST be sipped in a wine glass. I think they'd even work well in a faux sangria.

Final grade: B (C+ for the reds)

20 Weeks: Halfway!

Today we hit the 20 week mark, which means we're halfway to the big d-day on Halloween (this also means we could be over halfway if the Short Stranger is impatient and arrives early). It's been a pretty awesome week all around for us and the Short Stranger. Two days after I returned from my lovely research trip to DC, we learned through our big ultrasound that the Short Stranger is a boy, so he now goes by Mr. Stranger. We also got a peek at all his body parts, as he danced about on the screen for us (mostly face down, so we didn't get to see much of his profile). It's truly amazing that you can see the four chambers of the heart at this point! I'm also feeling his movements much more regularly this week, including an occasional tapping sensation that seems a lot more specific than the vague flitters I usually feel. And--as our friend Jen had predicted--I'm having to say goodbye to a lot of my non-maternity clothes this week. Hello bump!

And in other news, I also started prenatal yoga at the YMCA last night, which is run by this cool chick with wild tattoos running up both of her arms. She's totally South City! The class will be a great respite after working at the St. Louis Art Museum every Thursday.

So we know from the ultrasound this week that the Mr. is around 10 oz, but in babycenter.com food-talk, this means he's apparently about the length of a banana. I'm thinking that the website has run out of round mid-sized fruits and vegetables. And speaking of food, babycenter.com has decided to focus on digestion this week. Incidentally, we also know from the ultrasound that Mr. Stranger's stomach and kidney's are working well.

Here's what the website has to say:

Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe.)

He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you'll see it in his first soiled diaper (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).

That's MR. Short Stranger to you . . .

Yep, we finally found out that the Short Stranger is a boy! Very exciting news (although it definitely would have been exciting either way, but overall it's cool just to know). So for now, it's MR. Short Stranger . . . or El Sr. Extranjero Corto. I think the Chinese would be happy -- I mean, THEY gave us the fortune ; )

On two other related notes: (1) Our cat Tim has begun to misbehave, and we're pretty sure it's completely related to Bryna being pregnant. He has pee-ed twice on blankets, and has been acting a little weird. So we're not exactly sure what to do with him (unless . . . ex-President to the rescue!).

(2) In my duties as father of my now-to-be son, I have been playing music so that he will have a more enjoyable stay in the womb, and also so he will oddly recognize random music later in this life. So I've been playing the Black Eyed Peas "Boom Boom Pow" whenever I get the chance, including setting that song on my Alarm Clock. Here's a peek at what our son will surely memorize before birth, and be dancing to periodically in the womb. I hope this will give him good rhythm.

Let's let the Chinese chime in on baby gender...

Well, based on this Chinese Lunar Calendar, it looks like we're supposed to have a girl.

This Chinese Birth Chart gives us a 58% chance of having a girl.

But then I took this Chinese gender prediction test which actually used some data on our date of conception, birth date of mother, etc., and it predicts that we're having a boy. Go figure.

I couldn't find any gender prediction tests for fathers, although one Bryna took did say that if 'the father' gained weight that it will be a girl (and I have gained some weight recently). I also could not find any Japanese, Indian, Polish, African, or Latin American gender prediction calendars, so apparently only the Chinese are obsessed with this issue . . . and I wonder why.

Soon we'll know which prediction method was correct, and which are totally bogus (all?).

20 Week Ultrasound

Tomorrow's the big day: our 20 week ultrasound, where we count fingers, toes, kidneys, and so forth--and the day we find out if the Short Stranger is a Mr. or a Miss.

In preparation, I took this very fun quiz at: www.childbirth.org/articles/boyorgirl.html. According to the results, there is a 43% change that I'm having a boy, and a 56% chance that I'm having a girl, which is pretty close to 50/50!

Apparently, if you like orange juice and fruit there's a greater chance that you're having a girl.
We shall see...

Banning TV forever once baby arrives??

One big question of new parenting: do you let your baby watch any TV? Or do you even allow the TV to be on in the same room as the baby? what's a new parent to do?

A recent report from the UK suggested that a high number of babies are spending more time watching TV than with their parents -- a problem made worse by all the new "baby channels" on cable and satellite television (always marketed as "educational" or "developmental"). Another study here in the US showed that babies might lose as much as 10-20 percent of their waking hours watching TV. By the age of 6, 33 percent of children in the US have a television in their own room (yikes, I don't even have a TV in my own room!).

And WHY is this bad? Doesn't television help them learn, like Baby Einstein and all those DVDs and TV channels designed just for babies? It doesn't seem that way. Most experts agree that the more time babies spend sitting in front of the screen, the more their social, cognitive and language development may suffer. Recent studies show that TV-viewing tends to decrease babies' likelihood of learning new words, talking, playing and otherwise interacting with others, including a new study published last Monday in the Archive of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine.

For years, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has urged parents to eliminate all TV viewing for tots under age 2. As Dr. Michael Rich of the Center on Media and Child Health explains, "TV exposure in infants has been associated with increased risk of obesity, attention problems, and decreased sleep quality. Parents need to understand that infants and toddlers do not learn or benefit in any way from viewing TV at an early age." And as reported in the journal Pediatrics in April 2004, researchers at Children's Hospital in Seattle found that the more television a child watches between the ages of 1 and 3, the greater his or her likelihood of developing attention problems by age 7. Excessive viewing was associated with a 28 percent increase in attention problems. According to Dr. Christakis of this Seattle study, the rapidly moving images on TV and in video games may rewire the brains of very young children, making it difficult for them to focus on slower tasks that require more thought. Others say that TV may, at least temporarily, idle the centers in the pre-frontal cortex that are responsible for organizing, planning, and sequencing thought. And finally, researchers from Children's Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts, and Harvard Medical School concluded from a study of 800 children from birth to age 3 that educational DVD and videos geared towards enriching babies and toddlers, such as "BabyGenius," "Brainy Baby" or "Baby Einstein," which proclaim to "encourage discovery and inspire," have no benefits. Repeat, no benefits.

So, banning TV for baby sounds like a distinct possibility. Although it also seems that most parents would agree that a little TV now and then can't really do any damage -- the major concern is when the TV becomes a babysitter, and parents plop their babies in front of the tube when they just want some peace and quiet. Right?

19 weeks!

Today is 19 weeks, and according to babycenter.com, the Short Stranger is about the size of a large heirloom tomato. Yum! Definitely larger than a pepper--and I know, because this week I've really started to feel the weight of my growing bump. This is also a big week for the Short Stranger in other ways as well, because on Tuesday, we go in to the doctor's office for pictures. And...we'll learn if the short stranger is a "he" or a "she!"

According to babycenter.com, this week:

Your baby's sensory development is exploding! Her brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, talking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you.

Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. Her arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of her body now. Her kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on her scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid.

Looks like it's time to fix that "sailor's mouth" of mine. . . the Short Stranger can hear me!

Project Nest Update: in progress

As "mommy-to-be" is out of town for over a week (sniffle, sniffle), I have tasked myself with trying to get as much done as I can on our house. This past weekend, I was able to knock several items off the list:

1. installed new Garbage Disposal (old one broke) -- this was not quite as easy as it sounds. There should be a big warning on the new disposal box about the knock-out plug (I know, that's a little insider "This Old House" speak or something).

2. moved c. 1904 wrought iron gates from our garage and have begun process of mounting them to our fence. This required significant help from some friends -- these darn gates must have weighed 200-250 pounds a piece, and covered in rust and spider webs. Once they are stably attached to the fence posts, they should make a really cool trellace for some climbing plants (TBD).

3. cut the remainder of the retaining wall stones (a project that has lingered now for officially more than a year) -- this also done with the help of some serious Trailers (friends who also trailed their grad. student spouses to St. Louis for Wash. Univ.'s art history program), and a circular saw with a carbide blade (and it still took more than an hour to make 3 cuts).

4. cleaned out 3/4 of garage (the other 1/4 still needs to be done).

5. picked up new baby-related acoutrements from my brother's place, including swing chair, smaller vibrating chair, and an infant car seat with 2 bases (for 2 eventual cars). After about 5 seconds, Fred jumped into the car seat to test it out . . . no, I did not strap him in it.

As more tasks get done this week with MTB out of town, I will update.