For the in-utero one

Even if you've never come into to contact with a pregnant woman, you probably still know the best-selling "what to expect" series, for pregnancy, the "first year," early childhood, etc.

I just found out from good old NPR that the satirist David Javerbaum has just made a parody designed especially for the other one along for the ride--the fetus, or "the expected," as he puts it.

Although I haven't had a chance to look at "What to Expect When You're Expected" in any detail, several of the sections look promising, such as:

-"Why the Entire Bus is Allowed to Rub Mom's Belly"
-"Childbirth Classes: It's Never too Early for Parents to Get Ripped Off Paying for School"
-"MomDad"; Now It's "MomYouDad"; Guess Who Got Between Them?"
-"TITS TITS TITS TITS TITS!"

...and my personal favorite, as I wait impatiently:
-"It's the Second Monday in September, and Still No Labor Day"