separation trepidation

The human mind is an amazing, complicated, troubled thing. And as babies develop their own, they hit these crazy milestones (ie. torturous obstacles) which require some pain before there can be gain. Now in the midst of month #7, we fear that Holden may have hit the dreaded "separation anxiety."

Just this past weekend, Bryna's parents visited, and Holden freaked when held (or even touched) by them. We were worried it might be that he wasn't feeling well that day, but it continued the next day (which was VERY odd for Holden -- he's such a social baby and loves to be around people, and has no problem with strangers). Then, on Sunday evening, we went to a get-together for Bryna's department, and he freaked again. This time, it really screamed "separation anxiety" (pun intended). Maybe just an inkling of it, though.

According to all the baby website and books, this is a positive sign that your baby has formed a healthy attachment to you, sees you as separate from him for the first time, and is now developing intellectually (so he's smart!). He now knows, apparently, that he can make an impact on the world around him, and no longer is forced to passively accept a situation that makes him uncomfortable. Sounds like trouble to me! And they forgot to mention the crying.

For me, separation anxiety seems like a mixed bag. On one hand, it's upsetting to see the little guy get upset in new situations and around other people. And this new type of crying is something that can be soothed only be removing him from the situation and making sure he's with mommy or daddy (although we need to work on the distractions -- one recommendation for making it through this stage). On the other hand, it's very heart-warming to know that this little new addition to the family suddenly has such an attachment to his parents that he dreads being away from us. It means that all the diaper changes, late-night feedings, and afternoons spent rocking him or singing to him have really made a strong bond that he has with no one else. Might sound a little selfish ... but, it kind of rocks!

Good and bad, parenting can be so cool sometimes, and can have its funny little surprises -- separation anxiety is perhaps just the newest one. On top of that, he's eating solids, popping out his first teeth, working on crawling like a fiend, and mastering new verbal sounds all the time. Little Holden has so much going on, it's amazing he has time to focus on this whole "separation anxiety" thing.

Artwork above is "Separation Myth" by artist Paul Bradley: http://lupavision.net/lupa