there's a first for everything

literally ... everything that Holden does these days is a first for him (and us, I suppose): his first smile, his first laugh, his first trip out, the first time he fits into a 0-3 month-sized outfit, the first time he sleeps more than 6 hours straight, etc. It's definitely one of the perks of being a new parent, but it all goes so fast. Holden's growing up quickly now, and some of the small "firsts" are passing us by quickly, so I thought I'd try to keep track of some more on our blog. Here's some recent additions to that category in Holden's life:

1) Holden's First Shopping Trip
Before Christmas, we brought Holden out for one of his most American experiences yet: shopping. We took the long trek down to the South County Old Navy to see if they had some clothes that Santa might get Holden for Christmas, including a cute Holiday outfit. Holden enjoyed strolling around the store, and slept most of the time we were there.

2) Holden's First Christmas
Even though Holden really had no idea what was going on during Christmas Eve and Christmas, he had fun. I think he mostly just liked having all his grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins around showering him with attention. He got lots of great new clothes and toys from Santa, and most importantly, he got a Bob stroller (yay!). While we tried to resist dressing Holden up in holiday attire, it was to no avail. On Christmas Eve, Holden wore his little "JOY" fleece outfit, and on Christmas Day he wore a Santa's Little Helper outfit (on loan from his cousin Joey, who was likely made to wear it last Christmas when he was a couple months old). Here's the video of Holden as Santa's Little Helper (a great video that can be used later in his life for blackmail):



3) Holden's First Visit to the Art Museum
After Christmas, we decided to take Holden over to the Saint Louis Art Museum for his first trip to see art. Yes, he slept pretty much the whole time, but it's a start. Eventually he'll enjoy looking at the Ellsworth Kelly's and Mark Rothko's and the Chuck Close, but daddy's not going to pressure him to like art (... oh, who am I kidding, of course I will). I expect I'll learn a lot about art by watching Holden respond to paintings and sculptures -- I always feel that adults have a lot to learn from children about appreciating art.

Some Reflections on Labor

Giving birth to Holden was one of the most empowering and exhilarating experiences of my life, and I still think back to that day with a profound since of pride and love. With that said, my labor experience didn't exactly go as planned and was far from "ideal." Now that I've had a little bit of time to reflect on the day(s), and before the moment fades into the distant past, I thought I'd share some things I learned from the experience.

1) Best to be flexible, because you can’t always get what you want.

Two days after Holden's due date, Mike and I went in for a scheduled ultrasound-biophysical fully expecting to go out for dinner right after. Instead, Holden failed a portion of the test and thus began an induction process that finally ended two days later. Even though I had begun to come to terms with the possibility that I would have to induce, it took me a quite a while to adjust to the fact that I would not, in fact, have the labor experience I’d hoped for.

2) For some women (like me), Pitocin doesn't work.

Pitocin is a synthetic oxytocin that doctors use to induce labor. In theory, it is supposed to mimic the hormone and start contractions shortly after it enters your system. But for me, it did virtually nothing. The hospital put me on two twelve-hour rounds of the drug, with little to no result (breaking my water finally did the trick).

3) The “slow” induction process was the more humane approach.

My labor process took FOREVER. But this was partly due to the slow induction procedure they used. They started me on a pre-induction drug the first night (cervidil), and then over the next day slowly gave me pitocin. More importantly for me, in between each procedure they gave my body a break so that I could shower and eat a nice big energizing meal. Without these big food breaks, I’m not sure that I would have been able to make it.

4) Popsicles are awesome!

Had them and savored them once every hour. I could also have juice or sprite, but I preferred to popsicles. Kind of made me feel like a kid again.

5) You’ll see the nurses much more than the doctor, and their quality of care can vary.

Being there for almost a week (due in part to Holden’s jaundice) meant that we interacted with many nurses. Some, like the nurse who guided us through most of active labor, were amazing. Others—not so much. But they all like to give advice. Thus, when it came to learning to nurse Holden (a task that took weeks, not days, to master), I received a lot of conflicting advice. The lessons here—trust yourself and the lactation consultants; despite what the nurses might tell you, some babies really aren’t physically ready to nurse properly right away.

6) Watch out for those post-pregnancy hormones!

Wow, my hormones were all over the place two days after Holden was born. Right when they told us that the little guy had jaundice, unfortunately. Not a winning combination when you consider the fact that I was already completely sleep deprived, very sore from labor, and feeling overwhelmed by the monumental task of taking care of a new human being. Thankfully though…

7) My husband is awesome!

I recently read a study somewhere that suggested that husbands could be a hindrance to labor because they add an extra level of anxiety to the situation. I couldn’t disagree more. Sorry to get a little sappy here, but from beginning to end, Mike was my source of strength. Without him, I am quite sure I would have had a C-section. Simply put, he rocked!

The Newborn Top Ten

Now that we're emerging out of the newborn phase of parenting and into something that feels more manageable and even predictable, I thought a "top 10" was in order. It is, after all, the end of the year, when such lists are particularly popular.

So without further ado, and in no particular order, I give you the top ten items that helped us survive the first 6 or so weeks of parenthood.

10. Swaddling Blankets. And by this, I don't mean receiving blankets, which are the more common blankets you'll find in stores. Receiving blankets are just too small to swaddle even the smallest of babies, and they're rectangular, which means they don't wrap properly. Swaddling blankets, by contrast, are larger and square. Used properly, they would send little Holden into a sweet womb-like dreamland.

9. Diaper Rash Cream. Long story short: Holden has sensitive skin, and his mom and dad didn't realize this until a sad little rash appeared on his bum.

8. Food Made/Bought by Friends. When you're too sleep deprived and busy to cook pasta for yourself, the soups, casseroles, bagels, and take-out that friends bring are lifesavers.

7. Power Bars. Because sometimes heating up our friends' food was too much work, and because on those first few nights, when I was feeding around the clock, I would become ravished at 3 am.

6. Vitamin Water. On a tip from our friends Jen and Jeremy, we wisely stocked up on Vitamin Water in advance of Holden's arrival. This became a lifesaver--a needed energy boost on those days when we were going on 3-4 hours of sleep a night.

5. Breast Pump. Months ago, after our friend Jen insisted I purchase the pricey Medela pump-in-style advance, I hesitantly forked over the dough, sure that I'd hardly use the device. How wrong I was! Because Holden had latching issues, the pump became a necessity--for the first week I found myself using the quick-and-efficient double pump several times a day. And now, it makes feedings for those Saturday afternoons with dad so much easier.

4. Exercise Ball. Before we had Holden, we purchased an exercise ball at the advice of our birthing instructor, with the intention of using it to help ease the pain of early labor. It only became useful after his birth--when we learned that bouncing on it would almost instantly calm Holden down from crying. He's since become less fussy, but the ball still sits in our room as a last resort if the little guy becomes inconsolable.

3. Moby Wrap. This baby wearing wrap (see right) has become the go-to item in our house when Holden really wants to be held, but we need our hands free to get something done. At first, Holden was the type of active baby who did not like to be contained in any wrap devices. But once he learned how to control his body parts just a little bit, he came to love snuggling up next to his mom or dad.

2. "Total Baby" iPhone App. It's an app. in which you can track how many times you nurse, which breast use you use (or how much is in the bottle), and how often the baby pees and poops. Yes, you read that right. Because at first, keeping track of these things is really, really important.

1. iPhone! Not only did I use my iPhone for the baby app, but also to keep my sanity. At night, when I would be feeding Holden for the umpteenth time in those first few weeks, I would entertain myself with all the various news apps, with facebook, and twitter. The iPhone can be used with one hand, which makes it easier to manage than a book, and the NYTimes app, for instance, is always updating with new articles and essays. Simply put, it made sleep deprivation bearable.

And there you have it! This is what worked for us, but may not work for everyone. Of course, the best help comes in human form--in the family and friends that have been there to support us over the weeks! Thanks everyone!

Mr. Giggles

So, as you can tell, it's been a bit more difficult to find the time to post updates on the blog (it actually took me about 10 minutes to type just this sentence). Anyway, Holden's been doing great so far. He's been developing quite the personality, and responding to us with all kinds of facial expressions and movements. And, while he has rolled over many times before, today was the first day that daddy got to see him roll (and he conked his head on the floor, which really made him mad).

One thing that Holden has mastered in the past couple of weeks is laughing and smiling in response to us (not just your sleep smiling or laughing when he passes gas, but genuine responses to our not-so-shabby attempts at baby talk and high pitched baby sounds). I edited a couple recent moments together in this short video. What a stinker!?


He's been growing, too. According to our super accurate bathroom scale (ok, so maybe not that accurate), he's now about 8.3 pounds. So he's probably about at the average weight of a newborn baby right now, but he's catching up fast.

Holden's impending first Christmas should be lots of fun, and I know we'll have lots of new pictures with family to share ... and it might even be a "white Christmas" this year in St. Louis, which would be great since I'm so jealous of everywhere else getting all the snow (esp. Washington, DC ... snow hogs!).

5 Weeks: swings, slings, and other things

For the first 3 or so weeks in the life that is Holden's, our little guy's world mainly revolved around a swaddle blanket, our arms, and the occasional bright light or ceiling fan. In the past couple of weeks, this world has started to expand. Not only is he starting to coo and grunt as he gazes into our eyes, but he's finally the age (and size!) to test out the various gadgets we've accumulated. For instance, he's started to take an interest in the dangling bears above him in the pack-n-play and the sweet art cards of animals we own. And, just this past week, he's decided he likes the swing that he, admittedly, barely fits in:

And as you'll note in the first picture, he's also discovered his hands. In fact, for the past couple of days his soul interest has been slobbering all over his fist.

Yet nothing has been more wonderful for me, anyway, than the bliss he finds when he's nestled in our sling. Without the sling, I'm not sure I'd ever be able to find time for breakfast. There's no way to capture his joy pictorially, so instead, here's me, many months ago when still pregnant with Holden, test-driving one of these things at the store. Try to imagine a baby in the sling, instead of my belly:

Holden poses as Op Art

We couldn't resist...

Saturdays with Dad

We've now decided that Saturdays will be dedicated for Holden to spend some time with dad (also allowing Bryna to run errands, get work done, and have some time to herself). Today was the first official "Saturday with Dad," and it was very chill-axin' (chill + relaxin'). Holden and I spent some time taking a nap, watching the end of a movie on DVD, singing songs and dancing (most of today's songs related to the crackers that I ate with lunch called "Vegetable Entertainers" ... that provided a lot of material for some pretty inventive songs that I plan never to repeat; NEVER).
The boy is now one month old (yay!), and we celebrated this milestone with the my co-workers in the Education Division at the Saint Louis Art Museum (and they even had a cake, mmmmmm). And, we also took an outing to Noel and Elissa's yesterday evening, where Holden could celebrate and say hi to Zeke (who is in preparations for the baby derby, which WILL occur once both the boys can crawl ... date TBD).

Holden's first starring "roll"

As promised, here is a video of some of Holden's rolling from his stomach to his back -- which he's been doing for the past week now. Since Bryna basically DVR-ed the events of today's "tummy time" for Holden, we got some video of several rolls, which I have spliced together for your enjoyment. He is so determined to crawl ... if it just weren't for that pesky head getting in the way ; )



p.s. first person to name the song in the video gets a prize (to be determined).