Passing the 18-month milestone with flare

Holden hit the 18-month-old mark this past week, and he decided to celebrate with flare (and by "flare," I mean "a sudden burst of zeal or anger"). Bryna was out of town on a research trip for most of the week, but we were able to stay connected with her through FaceTime -- which I loved now that I have an iPad 2. Holden seemed to really like it, too, seeing mommy each day to give her kisses (ie. slobbering on the screen). All was good. We picked up Bryna at the airport on Friday evening, and Holden ran to her for a big hug as she walked out of the security area.

But then the weekend happened, and the "flare" began. Saturday evening, Holden had a lot of trouble going to bed (which hadn't happened at home in a REALLY long time). It had been a hectic and atypical day, with trips to the Farmers Market, playground, Cinco de Mayo festival, and ending with us having some friends over to our house for dinner. But Holden seemed totally off his game. Teething?

Then Sunday came ... Mothers Day. And Holden decided to make that day quite memorable. It all started nice -- breakfast, gifts for mommy (which ironically included a coupon for 2 free hugs), and a trip to the park. Then nap time came and went, with lots of flare (ie. no nap, much protest). And another bedtime with lots of protest and resistance from the H-bomb (yes, I'm bringing back that nickname ... it seems appropriate here). So we're going to have to take a rain check on this Mothers Day.

When I dropped Holden off at daycare this morning, I wrote a little note to Holden's teachers that simply said "good luck."

So what's the deal? Well, after some reflection and pondering, it just seems likely to be a second phase of separation anxiety -- probably exaggerated by Bryna's trip this past week. I read that toddlers have a resurgence of separation anxiety right as you've been lulled into believing its all over (right around 17-18 months). Experts say that it finally all over by 3 years (WHAT!?!?!). Anyway, we've been tackling this bout of SA (separation anxiety) by getting back to the core routine, reassuring Holden that we're not leaving him (esp. at night), and other strategies to help ease the pain (for Holden, and for us). We also think that Holden's brain has been on fire recently, with new words popping out all the time as well as an incessant need to label everything or ask what things are -- and that can't help him sleep at night.

So, all in all, Mothers Day weekend was simply a reminder that parenting can be hard (and I think it can be good to have that reminder from time to time ... esp. because it IS hard). And after all of Holden's tantrums during the weekend, Bryna and I sat there late Sunday night exhausted ... both wanting to give our little baby bear a big hug.