Holden and the Angry Slide

I'm not quite sure what motivates a toddler to take their first trips down the slide at the playground (peer pressure, parental encouragement, sheer curiosity), but none of these have much effect on Holden. He has been taking it nice and slow when it comes to that slippery centerpiece of most playgrounds we visit. Most of the time, he is simply not interested -- even when he sees friends or kids his age having so much fun going down the slide.

Months ago, Holden started gaining some interest, exploring the slide by climbing up from the bottom -- and often blocking other kids attempts to slide down (until we pull him away and unblock the slide). He may have slid down once or twice this summer with both mommy and daddy guiding him slowly down. Nothing to be afraid, of, right? But he still seems very nervous when it comes to the slide.

I do wonder if my own past experiences with the "angry slide" may have an impact on how unconsciously (or perhaps very consciously) nervous I am about slides. When I was a wee toddler (a bit older than Holden), I came barreling down a sliding board, fell off the end, and broke my leg. I had to wear a huge cast, and my parents jerry-rigged a folding chair to use as a makeshift crutch (since they really didn't make crutches for kids that young and small). Most of my memories of this event and injury come from stories that my parents have told me, but I have never forgotten this incident (likely very traumatic at the time -- and enough to linger with me as a parent). It is entirely possible that every time Holden toddles near the top of the sliding board, I run over to make sure he's not going to hurt himself, hence making him much less interested in the adventure of sliding down on his own.

But today, there was some evidence that I'm getting better, and so was Holden. When we were at the playground, he saw a friend of his go down the slide several times, and after deliberation, Holden followed. And I can prove that I wasn't standing there to grab his arm or guide him down since I took these photos (hoping to have proof for myself that he might actually enjoy the slide).
While this may be a long tangent about Holden and slides, I think this is one of those stages of parenting when we over-analyze everything we do (or don't do). And with our little guy on the verge of being a 2-year-old, it's hard not to be worried about all the new things he can do ... including going down the slide.

Fall Arrives ... FINALLY

After two months of blistering heat and more than 16 days of 100+ temperatures, we've been beside ourselves that it's finally fall here in St. Louis. And most importantly, it means Holden can return to the outdoors for play, walks in the park, playground visits, and digging around in our backyard. This past weekend, we spent lots of time outside after the weather cooled down, including a Labor Day barbeque. Holden had a blast, and I simply wanted to share a couple pics (and perhaps I am still a bit giddy about the cooler weather).

He's on a Boat!

That's right! This past weekend, Holden got to take his second boat ride at Lake of the Ozarks -- which he had been looking forward to for quite some time now. In general, Holden loves boats, but especially grandpa's boat (the only boat he's actually been on). Last time Holden got to ride in the boat, it was associated with a traumatic situation that involved a sudden thunderstorm with hail and strong winds which forced us to take cover in the dock while the storm blew over. We thought Holden would never want to go near a boat again, but that has not been the case. And he was back for more this last weekend.

As you can see in the video below, Holden is very serious about his boat-riding. He also gets this face whenever he is overcome with happiness and truly absorbing every second of the experience (as this is the same face he gets when he's sledding and hiking). On this boat ride, his seriousness was interrupted repeatedly by giggles, and I taught him to say "whoa" as a wave approached the boat and as we bounced over it.

Or perhaps Holden was simply thinking, "I'm on a boat!" Yep, I just couldn't pass up a mention of this infamous SNL digital short ... I know you were thinking the same thing.

A New Look

Please be patient with us. We're currently fiddling with our template to make videos, etc., easier to see. This blog may undergo a few changes over the next few days, while we figure out a look that's to our liking. Thanks for visiting!

Toddler Behavior

As we approaching age two, our focus is turning more and more to issues of discipline - and the related struggle of deciding when to discipline, and when to let it go. I have no concrete opinions about all of this yet, except to say that I find it difficult to always be consistent about such things. For example, we used to lay down the law (aka "time outs") whenever H. hit, until we realized that sometimes he was doing it playfully. Now we try to encourage "gentle touches" as much as we can, give time outs when there seems to be cruel intentions, and read such books as "Hands Are Not for Hitting." At this age, in fact, books seem to be the best approach to discipline because they provide opportunities to talk about such concepts as 'feelings' and 'actions.' But the thing is, toddlers change so quickly, their verbal skills continually evolve, and their emotions become increasing complex. So sometimes, you think you understand your toddler, then all the sudden they've found a whole new way to express their frustration.

If you too are thinking about these kinds of issues, Babble.com has a great set of tips for toddler-related issues. Us? We're currently battling a sudden case of #6.

And if nothing else, there's always this video.

GPS Boy

Recently, Holden has been developing an uncanny sense of direction. Last week, we went out for a few walks in the evening (with Holden riding in his stroller), and I would have plans to just walk around our neighborhood for a bit before his bath time. However, as soon as we got to the end of our block and I attempted to cross the street and keep going, Holden began to wave his arms and make the sounds of a frustrated toddler (lots of "no's" mixed with a healthy dose of huffing and puffing). I realized that he didn't want to go this way -- he wanted me to make a left turn and head that way ... to the park! We're several blocks from the park -- did he now know how to get to the park?? Well, we have walked this way a bunch, so I figured he just remembered the buildings or 'landmarks' on that corner. So I thought I would test him out.
We headed toward the park in a slightly different way that we normally do, removing any potentially familiar landmarks, trees, houses, streets, etc. Then, I made a sly turn to head in the opposite direction from the park, and ... ARMS SWAYING and MAJOR FRUSTRATION! As if to say, "Daddy, where are you going! The park is that way!" So we went to the park, and the same thing happened when I tried to use some stealthy maneuvers to get us out of the park -- Holden protested and knew we were headed out of the park. I eventually had to reason with him that we had to go home for his bath, but I was truly impressed with his ability to know exactly where we were headed (esp. in a large, busy urban park like Tower Grove Park).

So I guess Holden has some type of magnetic sense of navigation. You know, like migrating birds, bees, sea turtles, bats, and lots of other animals who rely on the Earth's magnetism to navigate, just like having built-in GPS devices. Except for Holden the magnetic poles are not the North and South Pole, but rather "the park" and "anything not the park." Before we know it, he'll be a little backseat driver ; )

Vacation Pt 3: Hiking Carriers

To begin this post, I give you two more tips for vacationing with toddlers:

1) Check, check, and double check that you have all the major items. Mentally go through your days, thinking about what you'll need.
2) And if you forget something (like your carrier) do what we did: turn your dilemma into an opportunity!

The day before we left for our vacation, we thought we were quite prepared. We had everything packed early (we thought), had carefully picked out music and books for H, and had even gone on some "practice" hikes with our ergo carrier. In order to take those hikes, however, we had to take the ergo out of the trunk of the car, where we typically stored it. We didn't even think about this fact - and didn't realize that we had forgotten the carrier until we arrived at the cabin and began planning out our first full day.

Because we were determined to hike, after much debate we decided to upgrade to the Deuter hiking carrier available in the local stores. This turned out to be a great decision.

In the Ergo, H sat close to our body, against our skin. This was great when he was younger, but more difficult for a toddler who prefers his own breathing space. In the Deuter, by contrast, he is strapped into a device resembles an upright car seat, which is stabilized by an aluminum frame. The parent wears this frame on their back; and the toddler sits at the parent's behind the parent, looking out at the trail over the parent's shoulders.

Although this contraption can get a little heavy, it worked great in a couple of ways. First, because he had space H could hold water, his hat, or another comfort item while hiking. Second, and more important, he could observe the trial and the views the way we do. His view was essentially the same as the carrier's; the two could bond over shared discoveries. This turned out to be an etremely rich experience for all of us, which I'll detail in yet another post.

For now - here's some pictures of the H in the carrier, enjoying the ride.

Vacation Pt 2: Road Tripping 101

As I mentioned in our last post, for our vacation last week we traveled to Gatlinburg, TN, to visit the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. The trip consisted of a 9-hr drive (including breaks) complete with a time change in the middle. We had made long trips like this when H-man was an infant, but this was the first when he was a full-blown toddler. It went remarkably well, and the 21-mth old was quite the trooper, even managing a construction delay with little major protest.

With the hopes that it might help somebody out there whose thinking about vacationing with their child, this post is devoted to tips and tactics that can make road-tripping easier.

General Thoughts:

When traveling with kids of any age, one of the basic things to recognize is that they thrive on a routine. Each kid has a rhythm, a set of activities they tend to do at certain times everyday, and keeping on a basic schedule tends to make them happier. Infant routines cycle through every few hours--they need 2-3 naps and eat on fairly frequent schedule. Toddler cycles are in some ways more like ours, but they too seem to thrive on a shorter cycle. Or more specifically, they can be prone to boredom, and need to change up their activities or they tend to get fairly grumpy. If you can find a way to follow the child's natural rhythms your trip will certainly go more smoothly.

When Holden was an infant, we tried to time the beginning of our trips around one of his naps to make the most of the most peaceful part of his routine. We used a similar strategy this time, gently pulling him out of bed at about 5 am (aka before his wake time) with the hopes that he'd sleep the first couple hours that we drove. This worked to an extent - he slept about an hour more, and was fairly quiet until approximately the time that we would have eaten breakfast at home. The bigger challenge on this drive was entertaining him when he was awake, since much of the driving time fell between his morning wake up and his afternoon nap. Our strategies for this challenge--and for a few others--are listed below.

Toddler Tips:

1) Bring a mix of old toys and books and new toys, especially the kind with an element of 'spectacle' in them.

Holden is now at an age in which he can enjoy 'pretend' reading his books, so we made sure to have several of his favorites on hand. We also bought him a couple of new ones, and brought along one of the types with buttons and lights that sings songs and asks questions. He particularly like this one because it played his favorite-song-of-the-moment ("Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"), and he would sit in the back "conducting" the imaginary orchestra as it played it.

2) Bring some new children's music, preferably some you can stand to hear again and again and again.

We were largely successful is endeavor, save for the fact that the music he liked sometimes drove us nuts. H-man got hooked on a particularly obnoxious version of the ABC song, which he repeatedly requested. To save our sanity, after we realized he loved bluegrass we bought a CD of it in the park and listened to it much of our way home.

3) Have a consistent nap-time CD.

We used to use a particular lullaby CD during his nap time routine at home. We gave up that part of the routine, but we still keep it in the car for those longer drives when nap time is part of the trip. We also give him his lovey and "blankie," take off his shoes and explain to him that it's nap time. Sometimes he fusses, but it always works.

4) Need to know where the next rest area is? There's an app for that!

If you have a smart phone, consider downloading this free "Rest Area" app. It's not perfect, but it's really quite helpful when you need to plan a break for your little one. And a related tip - bring food and have a picnic at the rest area. An especially good idea for the picky kid!

5) Another smartphone tip: bookmark those DOT websites

After running into a traffic jam on the TN highways, we checked the DOT websites. We learned that an accident had blocked both lanes and it would take an hour or more to remove it. We were lucky enough to be near a turn-off, which we used to backtrack to the closest alternative round. This probably saved us about 1/2 hr of drive time

6) Prepare your child in advance for your travels

I think this was key! The week before the trip we began to talk about our vacation, and the day before we explained that we'd have to take a "very very long drive." During the drive we continued to express our excitement about the vacation, so that he understood that our driving had a purpose. And guess what? He actually said "yay!" when we arrived at the cabin destination. Understanding what's going on is vitally important for a child, it settles them and makes them comfortable.

Oh...and a sense of humor helps.

What about you? Do you have any travel thoughts or tips?

Vacation Pt 1

We're back, after a week away on a glorious, peaceful vacation! For the past 7 days, we've been traveling, relaxing, hiking, and seeing the sights in the Great Smoky Mountains and Gatlinburg, TN. We had a wonderful time, and are happy to report that we had very few problems with traveling toddler-style. Because we also traveled to the same location last year, we also have a good sense of the differences between vacationing with an infant vs. a toddler.

With so many thoughts to share, and so many great pictures and bits of advice, it seems only best to break up our vacation-related thoughts into different posts. Consider this post, then, to be mere introduction to our adventure.

We decided to travel to Gatlinburg for 4 main reasons: 1) we had been there before, enjoyed it and wanted to see more of it; 2) the driving time is manageable; 3) we could find an affordable cabins; 4) we love visiting national parks.

We also thought the location would offer toddler-friendly attractions, but this wasn't one of primary criteria, because we have a firm belief that you can find something fun for a toddler almost anywhere if you think about it creatively. It was more important that we stayed somewhere that would make all of us happy, and that H could have a chance to experience something new and different. Now 21 months old, he's at a stage in which he picks up on words, concepts, and experiences very quickly - and by going to the mountains he had a chance to experience a very different kind of natural environment than the one we live in here in the Midwest.

Among the words and concepts he learned (and loved) from this trip:
-Mountains
-Cabin
-Streams [and] Rivers - and the sounds they make
-Tunnels - he'd say "more" every time we left one
-Hiking - perhaps his favorite new pastime
-Fallen trees - every time we saw one while hiking, he'd say 'uh oh'
-The sounds bugs make in the forest at night
-"Pace" - as in keeping a good pace with hiking
-Bluegrass - one of his favorite new forms of music
-"Cheers" - clinking glasses/sippy cups in celebration of a good day

And we learned that our son is mesmerized by nature, could sit in front of a stream all day, finds bugs fascinating, and can hike much further than we ever imagined. We also learned that while we are getting better than ever at planning for trips like this, we can still forget certain important travel components (like his carrier, oops!), but more on that in another post.

For now, here are just a few of the pictures from our vacation.

Breastfeeding Week...and Weight Loss

In case you haven't heard, it's International Breastfeeding Week, designated as such, I assume, by lactation organizations. So in its honor, I've decided to post some links and some of my own thoughts about this endlessly contentious issue

First, a couple of great links:
If you want to find a truly hilarious post about the benefits of breastfeeding, see this post at MODG blog, in which this mom of "G" explains how breastfeeding you do such things as catch up on your DVR recordings.

If you are interested in hearing more about breastfeeding from someone who couldn't, read Moosh in Indy's lovely post about her struggles, and her final recognition its what's in the heart that really matters.

Now My Thoughts:
As is the case with almost every mother out there, I have so many thoughts--always evolving, ever changing--about breast feeding. I could probably write a whole memoir devoted to the topic (but who would read it?). Since the MODG post brought it up--and because it's been on mind as of late--I want to focus on just one issue that has always bugged me about the debates on the topic: the oft-quoted correlation between breast-feeding and weight loss.

As MODG quotes, breastfeeding burns something like 500 extra calories a day. At least that's what the experts will tell you, in an apparently anxious effort to get the vainest among us to breastfeed as much as possible. What they don't say: you have to eat a lot of extra food to keep up. If you sign up for weight watchers, for example, you'll find a special category for nursing moms that requires you to eat extra food. And if you try to diet at all, you risk losing that milk supply entirely. Meanwhile, for the first couple of months, you are nursing so often you could hardly find the time to work out; in fact, at first, you're kind of a slug. I'm not trying to discourage anyone from breastfeeding, I just don't think that this should be your reason.

Breastfeeding will help...definitely help...to reduce that post-pregnancy bulge. But often it takes a lot time to drop that final five pounds, and even longer to drop the little bit of post pregnancy-squishiness around the middle that seems to haunt us moms. If you are someone like me, who is not naturally-thin, it means you have to spend some real time working out (here's where an awesome co-parent helps). It took me more than 18-mths to finally fit into the skinnier jeans that I wore before pregnancy. The good news, though, it did happen.

So in honor of International Breastfeeding week, I'm celebrating something a little different. I'm celebrating that nursing is life-changing, and body-altering, but also temporary. Breastfeeding will change you in many ways--and you can sometimes feel like your body is not your own--but there will come a day when you'll feel like your old self again.

Haircut

A few weeks ago, Holden had his first official haircut. We went to a place especially designed for kids, paid the extra money that such places require, and watched him pretend to drive in a little toy car while the lady quickly cut his hair. For the most part, Holden did great, until the last few minutes when he anxiously announced that he was "all done" and was ready to leave the chair. This may be why his hair ended up looking a bit wonky on the back right side. But over all, his hair has grown nicely into a pretty good looking cut.

That said, we had a hard time with this rite of passage. It was sad to see his longer "surfer" hair get clipped. This is not only because Holden has (in my humble opinion) some of the most beautiful honey-colored hair you could find on a person, but also because the shorter cut makes his look like such a boy. And I don't mean that in a bad way. Boys are great. But we are already battling so many things--the toys, the clothes, etc--that attempt to force our little guy into some 'ideal' of masculinity. I love having a toddler who has not a care in the world about the length of his hair, about the style of his clothes. And I don't like the idea that this might change. But his hair was just getting a little too uncomfortable for the repeated heat waves, and, well...we were getting pressured by the grandparents. Yes, the pressure to conform into some kind of ideal of a boy starts early. But hair can always grow back.

On toddlers and blogging

We have been pretty bad bloggers this month, and perhaps its because we've practically shut down in July heat. Or maybe its because we've been busy checking out all that's new across the web 2.0 landscape (Google Plus, anyone? Pinterest?). Or most likely - because we've both been pretty busy working in our respective jobs. I'm truly amazed that people like our friend at DNA's Digital Diary can keep up with her two little ones' antics on a daily basis.

But it's hard to keep up with toddlers' lives - they seem to constantly be changing. One day they're as sweet as can be, the next day they, well...it's called the "terrible twos" for a reason. Plus, Holden's interests, language, and sense of imagination all seem to evolve so quickly.

For me, it's also become more difficult to put together posts because, as DNA Digital wrote some time ago, "Some stories are not for sharing." Holden's personality, his wit, his imagination - all of it has exploded in the last couple of months. And the older he gets, the more easily I can imagine him growing older, and (hopefully) wiser. Before we know it, he'll be a teenager, hacking into this account.

We'll keep posting, but we're going to be a bit selective. Some of the best stories - those will be saved for more private conversations.

Top 10 at 20

Holden is officially 20 months old, and it just seems like he's changing so fast and doing so much these days. We've been struggling to update this blog on a regular basis (in case you couldn't tell), but it doesn't mean that Holden is getting boring or that we're faced with less interesting issues ... completely to the contrary! So here is the fastest way to give a quick Holden update here at the 20-month-old mark -- the "top 10" at 20 months (in no particular order):

"TOP 10" at 20

10. Pronounces 'boat' like 'butt' (nice "Finding Nemo" reference, eh?)

9. Has identified some good hiding places in the living room where mommy and daddy pretend that they can't see him ; )

8. Just growing like crazy. While he may still be below average size, I swear he's getting taller and heavier recently. He can now reach door knobs, get his chin over window sills, and get up and down the stairs with more ease. And when we carry him these days, he really feels heavier.

7. Fear of bubbles has subsided (for now) thanks to mommy teaching him how to pop them.

6. Has been saying "Ciao!" for a while now (which makes us super popular at Italian restaurants) and said "Ciao Baby!" for the first time this past weekend. Too pretentious for a 20-month-old?

5. Loves snorkeling. He picked this up from a few of his books that have characters snorkeling under the ocean. Not an easy thing to explain to a toddler, but he loves the concept anyway.

4. Totally into boats (yes, you might notice a water theme to much of this list). Might be partially due to a trip to Lake of the Ozarks a couple weeks ago that involved his first official boat ride -- on grandpa's boat. Now he builds boats out of blocks, and turned a cardboard box into a boat that he could ride in while we sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

3. Really enjoys reading "Where the Wild Things Are," especially the part when the Wild Rumpus begins and he can howl like the wild things. Oh, and I think it goes without saying that he loves Max's boat (which may have also inspired his own cardboard boat).

2. Developing an ornery sense of humor, which is both cute and slightly worrisome (we're just laughing at him for now). Still amazed that a 20-month-old can have a sense of humor (saying things to specifically get us to laugh, which I think is a step past just being silly).

1. Hugs, hugs, hugs! When he's not running around at the speed of lightning, he loves giving hugs and snuggling. And for mommy and daddy, there's nothing quite like a little hug from our baby bear (quickly becoming a big bear).

VIDEO: Holden and the Hippos

The hippo exhibit has always been one of my favorite places to visit at the Saint Louis Zoo -- it's simply awesome, and you always get to see happy and active hippos. Over the winter, it has been closed, so Holden hasn't had a chance to see the Hippos in a long time. But we went to the zoo last Sunday morning, and we got to see the hippos back -- and up close and personal.

Hidden was SO excited to see the hippos (so was daddy), so we hung there for a while. This great video shows Holden almost beside himself with excitement, saying his version of "hippo" over and over. He even made a friend while viewing the hippos (you'll see the kid in the blue hat).

Oh, and by the way, the best time to visit the Saint Louis Zoo is Sunday morning around 8:30 or 9:00am. You totally beat the crowds, it's not so hot, parking is tolerable, and you can visit the Children's Zoo for free until 9am.

Abstract Concepts

Holden has recently been picking up on some pretty cool abstract concepts, thanks in part to some of the lessons he's been learning at school. And one of these, appropriately enough to our heat wave, is "hot." This is one of his favorite words as of late, probably because he keeps hearing his parents complaining about how hot it is outside. A few weeks ago, his class had a lesson on opposites, and that's where he picked up on the concept.

He seems to understand it in a variety of ways. For example--we were at the Missouri Botanical Gardens over the weekend, and he reached down, touched the ground, and said "hot." When we returned to get in the car and told him it was time to get into his carseat, he said, "no, hot." And now, whenever go outside, he tells us its hot. Quite the meteorologist.

"Happy" is the other new favorite word in his lexicon. I'm not sure if he fully understands it, but he does get the concept that we smile and laugh when we're "happy." And, incidentally, hearing him say "happy" is just adorable. Now we just have to teach him that we would all be "happier" if it wasn't so darn "hot" out.