Short Stranger

Happy New Year!

2011-12-31T14:41:00.001-06:00

We've been having so much fun with the holidays we've neglected to write about them.

So for now, while we finish out 2011, we wish you all a Happy New Year!

An Ever-Expanding Palette

2011-12-13T21:38:00.001-06:00

A couple of nights ago we had roasted acorn squash, brown rice, and mofu tofu with mole sauce for dinner, and Holden ate almost everything. This is not unusual for our 2 yr-old, who prefers salsa to ketchup and spicy chili to mashed potatoes. We're constantly amazed and impressed at the kinds of things that Holden will willfully gobble up with glee. This was not always the case; he was an extremely picky eater in the early stages of solid food, making us, his foodie parents, worry they were doomed. But we've been consistent about serving him a range of seasonal foods and spices, of being adventurous ourselves, and of living by the bribing adage of "sure you can have some more of X, as long as you try Y first."

We don't believe in 'sneaking' in healthy foods into bland meals, except on a few choice occasions (if we have to make a quick mac-n-cheese meal because we're in a hurry, we always add in spinach, broccoli, or another leafy vegetable). And we definitely don't believe in becoming short-order cooks. Rather, we've tried to foster the concept that food is important, fun, and something to enjoy discovering. We always show him new foods that we get in our CSA, talk about the vegetables in our garden, and cook and bake with him as much as we can. Everytime we sit down for dinner, we tell him what new foods are on his plate. It took us a long time to get him to try some things that are now among his favorites--like avocado, for instance--but we now see our consistency has paid off.

Here's a list of some of his more adventurous favorites--and some of things he's tried and gone back for seconds:

Tofu
Guacamole
Hummus
Chili and curried lentil soup
Cucumbers
Radishes (until he ate them too fast and the heat caught up with him_
Raw spinach
Minestrone
Raw tomatoes (one of his favorite vegetables)
Dried Apricots
Black beans
High-end cheeses (he doesn't actually like American cheese, but would prefer the sharper stuff)
Salsa

Quick Update: Photo Edition

2011-11-17T22:48:00.012-06:00

One way to catch-up for lost time posting to this blog is to post some photos from the past month. Here are some of the things keeping the H-man busy recently.

Tapping into his artistic side (in memory of Cy Twombly)

Making cookies with grandma, and helping daddy make zucchini bread (which Holden also loves)

And simply enjoying the beautiful fall weather here in St. Louis by taking trips to Tower Grove Park, or even going hiking at Castlewood State Park.
And meet Owen, Holden's new best friend and favorite stuffed animal. He won't go anywhere without Owen, including hiking (see above). You are sure to see Owen pop up in further posts and pictures -- although it may be just a matter of time before he moves on to another favorite toy or animal.

Holden Meets John Deere

2011-11-17T22:16:00.004-06:00

Holden's love affair with tractors began early in life, with books such as "My Terrific Tractor Book" inspiring a passion for this agricultural machine. When we went to our CSA farm up in Clarksville, MO, Holden was most excited about an old tractor they had. And while he has not yet ridden in a tractor during our trips up to Iowa, I know he associates tractors with Grandpa C (just as he associates boats with Grandpa M).

So his big birthday party comes along this year, and Holden actually got his own mini John Deere tractor with a trailer attachment. After both his grandpas got the box open, Holden was beside himself with excitement! But that excitement had to stay on hold for a bit while grandpa and grandpa assembled the tractor's parts (never an easy task, but fun to watch). Once the tractor was assembled, Holden loved it! He got the chance to show it off to his friends at his birthday party, and did a pretty good job of letting other kids sit on it or ride it -- only a few minor tantrums. With his little short legs, Holden can only barely reach the peddles, but he scoots along regardless ... and absolutely loves it!!!

Our Life Gets Hectic...and Holden Turns Two!

2011-11-09T14:45:00.003-06:00

Oh...hello there blog! It's been a while. Yes, October was one of those months that went by in a blur of academic deadlines, fellowship applications, chapter writing, and professional conferences.

But enough about that. A lot happened in Holden's world too. He moved to the 'big kids' room at his daycare at the beginning of the month, a full four weeks before he turned two, which he LOVES. He had his big two-year old doctor's appointment, in which we discovered he's actually growing a good pace (getting taller, but skinnier, it seems). And he had a birthday weekend extravaganza with grandparents, friends, and backyard party, and a new toy riding tractor. Pictures will follow soon!

Holden and the Angry Slide

2011-09-24T20:39:00.005-05:00

I'm not quite sure what motivates a toddler to take their first trips down the slide at the playground (peer pressure, parental encouragement, sheer curiosity), but none of these have much effect on Holden. He has been taking it nice and slow when it comes to that slippery centerpiece of most playgrounds we visit. Most of the time, he is simply not interested -- even when he sees friends or kids his age having so much fun going down the slide.

Months ago, Holden started gaining some interest, exploring the slide by climbing up from the bottom -- and often blocking other kids attempts to slide down (until we pull him away and unblock the slide). He may have slid down once or twice this summer with both mommy and daddy guiding him slowly down. Nothing to be afraid, of, right? But he still seems very nervous when it comes to the slide.

I do wonder if my own past experiences with the "angry slide" may have an impact on how unconsciously (or perhaps very consciously) nervous I am about slides. When I was a wee toddler (a bit older than Holden), I came barreling down a sliding board, fell off the end, and broke my leg. I had to wear a huge cast, and my parents jerry-rigged a folding chair to use as a makeshift crutch (since they really didn't make crutches for kids that young and small). Most of my memories of this event and injury come from stories that my parents have told me, but I have never forgotten this incident (likely very traumatic at the time -- and enough to linger with me as a parent). It is entirely possible that every time Holden toddles near the top of the sliding board, I run over to make sure he's not going to hurt himself, hence making him much less interested in the adventure of sliding down on his own.

But today, there was some evidence that I'm getting better, and so was Holden. When we were at the playground, he saw a friend of his go down the slide several times, and after deliberation, Holden followed. And I can prove that I wasn't standing there to grab his arm or guide him down since I took these photos (hoping to have proof for myself that he might actually enjoy the slide).
While this may be a long tangent about Holden and slides, I think this is one of those stages of parenting when we over-analyze everything we do (or don't do). And with our little guy on the verge of being a 2-year-old, it's hard not to be worried about all the new things he can do ... including going down the slide.

Fall Arrives ... FINALLY

2011-09-07T20:31:00.003-05:00

After two months of blistering heat and more than 16 days of 100+ temperatures, we've been beside ourselves that it's finally fall here in St. Louis. And most importantly, it means Holden can return to the outdoors for play, walks in the park, playground visits, and digging around in our backyard. This past weekend, we spent lots of time outside after the weather cooled down, including a Labor Day barbeque. Holden had a blast, and I simply wanted to share a couple pics (and perhaps I am still a bit giddy about the cooler weather).

He's on a Boat!

2011-08-29T21:46:00.004-05:00

That's right! This past weekend, Holden got to take his second boat ride at Lake of the Ozarks -- which he had been looking forward to for quite some time now. In general, Holden loves boats, but especially grandpa's boat (the only boat he's actually been on). Last time Holden got to ride in the boat, it was associated with a traumatic situation that involved a sudden thunderstorm with hail and strong winds which forced us to take cover in the dock while the storm blew over. We thought Holden would never want to go near a boat again, but that has not been the case. And he was back for more this last weekend.

As you can see in the video below, Holden is very serious about his boat-riding. He also gets this face whenever he is overcome with happiness and truly absorbing every second of the experience (as this is the same face he gets when he's sledding and hiking). On this boat ride, his seriousness was interrupted repeatedly by giggles, and I taught him to say "whoa" as a wave approached the boat and as we bounced over it.

Or perhaps Holden was simply thinking, "I'm on a boat!" Yep, I just couldn't pass up a mention of this infamous SNL digital short ... I know you were thinking the same thing.

A New Look

2011-08-29T21:41:00.003-05:00

Please be patient with us. We're currently fiddling with our template to make videos, etc., easier to see. This blog may undergo a few changes over the next few days, while we figure out a look that's to our liking. Thanks for visiting!

Toddler Behavior

2011-08-24T14:50:00.003-05:00

As we approaching age two, our focus is turning more and more to issues of discipline - and the related struggle of deciding when to discipline, and when to let it go. I have no concrete opinions about all of this yet, except to say that I find it difficult to always be consistent about such things. For example, we used to lay down the law (aka "time outs") whenever H. hit, until we realized that sometimes he was doing it playfully. Now we try to encourage "gentle touches" as much as we can, give time outs when there seems to be cruel intentions, and read such books as "Hands Are Not for Hitting." At this age, in fact, books seem to be the best approach to discipline because they provide opportunities to talk about such concepts as 'feelings' and 'actions.' But the thing is, toddlers change so quickly, their verbal skills continually evolve, and their emotions become increasing complex. So sometimes, you think you understand your toddler, then all the sudden they've found a whole new way to express their frustration.

If you too are thinking about these kinds of issues, Babble.com has a great set of tips for toddler-related issues. Us? We're currently battling a sudden case of #6.

And if nothing else, there's always this video.

GPS Boy

2011-08-22T20:36:00.005-05:00

Recently, Holden has been developing an uncanny sense of direction. Last week, we went out for a few walks in the evening (with Holden riding in his stroller), and I would have plans to just walk around our neighborhood for a bit before his bath time. However, as soon as we got to the end of our block and I attempted to cross the street and keep going, Holden began to wave his arms and make the sounds of a frustrated toddler (lots of "no's" mixed with a healthy dose of huffing and puffing). I realized that he didn't want to go this way -- he wanted me to make a left turn and head that way ... to the park! We're several blocks from the park -- did he now know how to get to the park?? Well, we have walked this way a bunch, so I figured he just remembered the buildings or 'landmarks' on that corner. So I thought I would test him out.
We headed toward the park in a slightly different way that we normally do, removing any potentially familiar landmarks, trees, houses, streets, etc. Then, I made a sly turn to head in the opposite direction from the park, and ... ARMS SWAYING and MAJOR FRUSTRATION! As if to say, "Daddy, where are you going! The park is that way!" So we went to the park, and the same thing happened when I tried to use some stealthy maneuvers to get us out of the park -- Holden protested and knew we were headed out of the park. I eventually had to reason with him that we had to go home for his bath, but I was truly impressed with his ability to know exactly where we were headed (esp. in a large, busy urban park like Tower Grove Park).

So I guess Holden has some type of magnetic sense of navigation. You know, like migrating birds, bees, sea turtles, bats, and lots of other animals who rely on the Earth's magnetism to navigate, just like having built-in GPS devices. Except for Holden the magnetic poles are not the North and South Pole, but rather "the park" and "anything not the park." Before we know it, he'll be a little backseat driver ; )

Vacation Pt 3: Hiking Carriers

2011-08-17T22:25:00.004-05:00

To begin this post, I give you two more tips for vacationing with toddlers:

1) Check, check, and double check that you have all the major items. Mentally go through your days, thinking about what you'll need.
2) And if you forget something (like your carrier) do what we did: turn your dilemma into an opportunity!

The day before we left for our vacation, we thought we were quite prepared. We had everything packed early (we thought), had carefully picked out music and books for H, and had even gone on some "practice" hikes with our ergo carrier. In order to take those hikes, however, we had to take the ergo out of the trunk of the car, where we typically stored it. We didn't even think about this fact - and didn't realize that we had forgotten the carrier until we arrived at the cabin and began planning out our first full day.

Because we were determined to hike, after much debate we decided to upgrade to the Deuter hiking carrier available in the local stores. This turned out to be a great decision.

In the Ergo, H sat close to our body, against our skin. This was great when he was younger, but more difficult for a toddler who prefers his own breathing space. In the Deuter, by contrast, he is strapped into a device resembles an upright car seat, which is stabilized by an aluminum frame. The parent wears this frame on their back; and the toddler sits at the parent's behind the parent, looking out at the trail over the parent's shoulders.

Although this contraption can get a little heavy, it worked great in a couple of ways. First, because he had space H could hold water, his hat, or another comfort item while hiking. Second, and more important, he could observe the trial and the views the way we do. His view was essentially the same as the carrier's; the two could bond over shared discoveries. This turned out to be an etremely rich experience for all of us, which I'll detail in yet another post.

For now - here's some pictures of the H in the carrier, enjoying the ride.

Vacation Pt 2: Road Tripping 101

2011-08-16T21:40:00.004-05:00

As I mentioned in our last post, for our vacation last week we traveled to Gatlinburg, TN, to visit the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. The trip consisted of a 9-hr drive (including breaks) complete with a time change in the middle. We had made long trips like this when H-man was an infant, but this was the first when he was a full-blown toddler. It went remarkably well, and the 21-mth old was quite the trooper, even managing a construction delay with little major protest.

With the hopes that it might help somebody out there whose thinking about vacationing with their child, this post is devoted to tips and tactics that can make road-tripping easier.

General Thoughts:

When traveling with kids of any age, one of the basic things to recognize is that they thrive on a routine. Each kid has a rhythm, a set of activities they tend to do at certain times everyday, and keeping on a basic schedule tends to make them happier. Infant routines cycle through every few hours--they need 2-3 naps and eat on fairly frequent schedule. Toddler cycles are in some ways more like ours, but they too seem to thrive on a shorter cycle. Or more specifically, they can be prone to boredom, and need to change up their activities or they tend to get fairly grumpy. If you can find a way to follow the child's natural rhythms your trip will certainly go more smoothly.

When Holden was an infant, we tried to time the beginning of our trips around one of his naps to make the most of the most peaceful part of his routine. We used a similar strategy this time, gently pulling him out of bed at about 5 am (aka before his wake time) with the hopes that he'd sleep the first couple hours that we drove. This worked to an extent - he slept about an hour more, and was fairly quiet until approximately the time that we would have eaten breakfast at home. The bigger challenge on this drive was entertaining him when he was awake, since much of the driving time fell between his morning wake up and his afternoon nap. Our strategies for this challenge--and for a few others--are listed below.

Toddler Tips:

1) Bring a mix of old toys and books and new toys, especially the kind with an element of 'spectacle' in them.

Holden is now at an age in which he can enjoy 'pretend' reading his books, so we made sure to have several of his favorites on hand. We also bought him a couple of new ones, and brought along one of the types with buttons and lights that sings songs and asks questions. He particularly like this one because it played his favorite-song-of-the-moment ("Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"), and he would sit in the back "conducting" the imaginary orchestra as it played it.

2) Bring some new children's music, preferably some you can stand to hear again and again and again.

We were largely successful is endeavor, save for the fact that the music he liked sometimes drove us nuts. H-man got hooked on a particularly obnoxious version of the ABC song, which he repeatedly requested. To save our sanity, after we realized he loved bluegrass we bought a CD of it in the park and listened to it much of our way home.

3) Have a consistent nap-time CD.

We used to use a particular lullaby CD during his nap time routine at home. We gave up that part of the routine, but we still keep it in the car for those longer drives when nap time is part of the trip. We also give him his lovey and "blankie," take off his shoes and explain to him that it's nap time. Sometimes he fusses, but it always works.

4) Need to know where the next rest area is? There's an app for that!

If you have a smart phone, consider downloading this free "Rest Area" app. It's not perfect, but it's really quite helpful when you need to plan a break for your little one. And a related tip - bring food and have a picnic at the rest area. An especially good idea for the picky kid!

5) Another smartphone tip: bookmark those DOT websites

After running into a traffic jam on the TN highways, we checked the DOT websites. We learned that an accident had blocked both lanes and it would take an hour or more to remove it. We were lucky enough to be near a turn-off, which we used to backtrack to the closest alternative round. This probably saved us about 1/2 hr of drive time

6) Prepare your child in advance for your travels

I think this was key! The week before the trip we began to talk about our vacation, and the day before we explained that we'd have to take a "very very long drive." During the drive we continued to express our excitement about the vacation, so that he understood that our driving had a purpose. And guess what? He actually said "yay!" when we arrived at the cabin destination. Understanding what's going on is vitally important for a child, it settles them and makes them comfortable.

Oh...and a sense of humor helps.

What about you? Do you have any travel thoughts or tips?

Vacation Pt 1

2011-08-14T13:55:00.012-05:00

We're back, after a week away on a glorious, peaceful vacation! For the past 7 days, we've been traveling, relaxing, hiking, and seeing the sights in the Great Smoky Mountains and Gatlinburg, TN. We had a wonderful time, and are happy to report that we had very few problems with traveling toddler-style. Because we also traveled to the same location last year, we also have a good sense of the differences between vacationing with an infant vs. a toddler.

With so many thoughts to share, and so many great pictures and bits of advice, it seems only best to break up our vacation-related thoughts into different posts. Consider this post, then, to be mere introduction to our adventure.

We decided to travel to Gatlinburg for 4 main reasons: 1) we had been there before, enjoyed it and wanted to see more of it; 2) the driving time is manageable; 3) we could find an affordable cabins; 4) we love visiting national parks.

We also thought the location would offer toddler-friendly attractions, but this wasn't one of primary criteria, because we have a firm belief that you can find something fun for a toddler almost anywhere if you think about it creatively. It was more important that we stayed somewhere that would make all of us happy, and that H could have a chance to experience something new and different. Now 21 months old, he's at a stage in which he picks up on words, concepts, and experiences very quickly - and by going to the mountains he had a chance to experience a very different kind of natural environment than the one we live in here in the Midwest.

Among the words and concepts he learned (and loved) from this trip:
-Mountains
-Cabin
-Streams [and] Rivers - and the sounds they make
-Tunnels - he'd say "more" every time we left one
-Hiking - perhaps his favorite new pastime
-Fallen trees - every time we saw one while hiking, he'd say 'uh oh'
-The sounds bugs make in the forest at night
-"Pace" - as in keeping a good pace with hiking
-Bluegrass - one of his favorite new forms of music
-"Cheers" - clinking glasses/sippy cups in celebration of a good day

And we learned that our son is mesmerized by nature, could sit in front of a stream all day, finds bugs fascinating, and can hike much further than we ever imagined. We also learned that while we are getting better than ever at planning for trips like this, we can still forget certain important travel components (like his carrier, oops!), but more on that in another post.

For now, here are just a few of the pictures from our vacation.

Breastfeeding Week...and Weight Loss

2011-08-05T10:31:00.005-05:00

In case you haven't heard, it's International Breastfeeding Week, designated as such, I assume, by lactation organizations. So in its honor, I've decided to post some links and some of my own thoughts about this endlessly contentious issue

First, a couple of great links:
If you want to find a truly hilarious post about the benefits of breastfeeding, see this post at MODG blog, in which this mom of "G" explains how breastfeeding you do such things as catch up on your DVR recordings.

If you are interested in hearing more about breastfeeding from someone who couldn't, read Moosh in Indy's lovely post about her struggles, and her final recognition its what's in the heart that really matters.

Now My Thoughts:
As is the case with almost every mother out there, I have so many thoughts--always evolving, ever changing--about breast feeding. I could probably write a whole memoir devoted to the topic (but who would read it?). Since the MODG post brought it up--and because it's been on mind as of late--I want to focus on just one issue that has always bugged me about the debates on the topic: the oft-quoted correlation between breast-feeding and weight loss.

As MODG quotes, breastfeeding burns something like 500 extra calories a day. At least that's what the experts will tell you, in an apparently anxious effort to get the vainest among us to breastfeed as much as possible. What they don't say: you have to eat a lot of extra food to keep up. If you sign up for weight watchers, for example, you'll find a special category for nursing moms that requires you to eat extra food. And if you try to diet at all, you risk losing that milk supply entirely. Meanwhile, for the first couple of months, you are nursing so often you could hardly find the time to work out; in fact, at first, you're kind of a slug. I'm not trying to discourage anyone from breastfeeding, I just don't think that this should be your reason.

Breastfeeding will help...definitely help...to reduce that post-pregnancy bulge. But often it takes a lot time to drop that final five pounds, and even longer to drop the little bit of post pregnancy-squishiness around the middle that seems to haunt us moms. If you are someone like me, who is not naturally-thin, it means you have to spend some real time working out (here's where an awesome co-parent helps). It took me more than 18-mths to finally fit into the skinnier jeans that I wore before pregnancy. The good news, though, it did happen.

So in honor of International Breastfeeding week, I'm celebrating something a little different. I'm celebrating that nursing is life-changing, and body-altering, but also temporary. Breastfeeding will change you in many ways--and you can sometimes feel like your body is not your own--but there will come a day when you'll feel like your old self again.

Haircut

2011-08-04T21:25:00.006-05:00

A few weeks ago, Holden had his first official haircut. We went to a place especially designed for kids, paid the extra money that such places require, and watched him pretend to drive in a little toy car while the lady quickly cut his hair. For the most part, Holden did great, until the last few minutes when he anxiously announced that he was "all done" and was ready to leave the chair. This may be why his hair ended up looking a bit wonky on the back right side. But over all, his hair has grown nicely into a pretty good looking cut.

That said, we had a hard time with this rite of passage. It was sad to see his longer "surfer" hair get clipped. This is not only because Holden has (in my humble opinion) some of the most beautiful honey-colored hair you could find on a person, but also because the shorter cut makes his look like such a boy. And I don't mean that in a bad way. Boys are great. But we are already battling so many things--the toys, the clothes, etc--that attempt to force our little guy into some 'ideal' of masculinity. I love having a toddler who has not a care in the world about the length of his hair, about the style of his clothes. And I don't like the idea that this might change. But his hair was just getting a little too uncomfortable for the repeated heat waves, and, well...we were getting pressured by the grandparents. Yes, the pressure to conform into some kind of ideal of a boy starts early. But hair can always grow back.

On toddlers and blogging

2011-07-29T08:07:00.006-05:00

We have been pretty bad bloggers this month, and perhaps its because we've practically shut down in July heat. Or maybe its because we've been busy checking out all that's new across the web 2.0 landscape (Google Plus, anyone? Pinterest?). Or most likely - because we've both been pretty busy working in our respective jobs. I'm truly amazed that people like our friend at DNA's Digital Diary can keep up with her two little ones' antics on a daily basis.

But it's hard to keep up with toddlers' lives - they seem to constantly be changing. One day they're as sweet as can be, the next day they, well...it's called the "terrible twos" for a reason. Plus, Holden's interests, language, and sense of imagination all seem to evolve so quickly.

For me, it's also become more difficult to put together posts because, as DNA Digital wrote some time ago, "Some stories are not for sharing." Holden's personality, his wit, his imagination - all of it has exploded in the last couple of months. And the older he gets, the more easily I can imagine him growing older, and (hopefully) wiser. Before we know it, he'll be a teenager, hacking into this account.

We'll keep posting, but we're going to be a bit selective. Some of the best stories - those will be saved for more private conversations.

Top 10 at 20

2011-07-05T22:30:00.006-05:00

Holden is officially 20 months old, and it just seems like he's changing so fast and doing so much these days. We've been struggling to update this blog on a regular basis (in case you couldn't tell), but it doesn't mean that Holden is getting boring or that we're faced with less interesting issues ... completely to the contrary! So here is the fastest way to give a quick Holden update here at the 20-month-old mark -- the "top 10" at 20 months (in no particular order):

"TOP 10" at 20

10. Pronounces 'boat' like 'butt' (nice "Finding Nemo" reference, eh?)

9. Has identified some good hiding places in the living room where mommy and daddy pretend that they can't see him ; )

8. Just growing like crazy. While he may still be below average size, I swear he's getting taller and heavier recently. He can now reach door knobs, get his chin over window sills, and get up and down the stairs with more ease. And when we carry him these days, he really feels heavier.

7. Fear of bubbles has subsided (for now) thanks to mommy teaching him how to pop them.

6. Has been saying "Ciao!" for a while now (which makes us super popular at Italian restaurants) and said "Ciao Baby!" for the first time this past weekend. Too pretentious for a 20-month-old?

5. Loves snorkeling. He picked this up from a few of his books that have characters snorkeling under the ocean. Not an easy thing to explain to a toddler, but he loves the concept anyway.

4. Totally into boats (yes, you might notice a water theme to much of this list). Might be partially due to a trip to Lake of the Ozarks a couple weeks ago that involved his first official boat ride -- on grandpa's boat. Now he builds boats out of blocks, and turned a cardboard box into a boat that he could ride in while we sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

3. Really enjoys reading "Where the Wild Things Are," especially the part when the Wild Rumpus begins and he can howl like the wild things. Oh, and I think it goes without saying that he loves Max's boat (which may have also inspired his own cardboard boat).

2. Developing an ornery sense of humor, which is both cute and slightly worrisome (we're just laughing at him for now). Still amazed that a 20-month-old can have a sense of humor (saying things to specifically get us to laugh, which I think is a step past just being silly).

1. Hugs, hugs, hugs! When he's not running around at the speed of lightning, he loves giving hugs and snuggling. And for mommy and daddy, there's nothing quite like a little hug from our baby bear (quickly becoming a big bear).

VIDEO: Holden and the Hippos

2011-06-19T14:27:00.006-05:00

The hippo exhibit has always been one of my favorite places to visit at the Saint Louis Zoo -- it's simply awesome, and you always get to see happy and active hippos. Over the winter, it has been closed, so Holden hasn't had a chance to see the Hippos in a long time. But we went to the zoo last Sunday morning, and we got to see the hippos back -- and up close and personal.

Hidden was SO excited to see the hippos (so was daddy), so we hung there for a while. This great video shows Holden almost beside himself with excitement, saying his version of "hippo" over and over. He even made a friend while viewing the hippos (you'll see the kid in the blue hat).

Oh, and by the way, the best time to visit the Saint Louis Zoo is Sunday morning around 8:30 or 9:00am. You totally beat the crowds, it's not so hot, parking is tolerable, and you can visit the Children's Zoo for free until 9am.

Abstract Concepts

2011-06-07T12:29:00.007-05:00

Holden has recently been picking up on some pretty cool abstract concepts, thanks in part to some of the lessons he's been learning at school. And one of these, appropriately enough to our heat wave, is "hot." This is one of his favorite words as of late, probably because he keeps hearing his parents complaining about how hot it is outside. A few weeks ago, his class had a lesson on opposites, and that's where he picked up on the concept.

He seems to understand it in a variety of ways. For example--we were at the Missouri Botanical Gardens over the weekend, and he reached down, touched the ground, and said "hot." When we returned to get in the car and told him it was time to get into his carseat, he said, "no, hot." And now, whenever go outside, he tells us its hot. Quite the meteorologist.

"Happy" is the other new favorite word in his lexicon. I'm not sure if he fully understands it, but he does get the concept that we smile and laugh when we're "happy." And, incidentally, hearing him say "happy" is just adorable. Now we just have to teach him that we would all be "happier" if it wasn't so darn "hot" out.

One small step for mankind...

2011-05-31T23:17:00.003-05:00

...one big step for Holden. Down the steps that is, which is a very big challenge for this shorter-than-average 18 mth old. But here, with a giant sippy cup in his hand, he manages it quite well.

summertime, summertime

2011-05-30T23:04:00.006-05:00

After the rains, tornados, and several very chilly weekends, summer has finally arrived in St. Louis (and much of the country, it seems). We've gone from jackets and umbrellas to t-shirts and sandals, and Holden is loving it. I think we've added 3 new favorite activities to Holden's list -- walking on his own (not in the stroller), sitting on the front steps at our house, and playing with water in the backyard.

The first one (walking on his own) is both a blessing and a curse. While it's great that he's able and willing to walk down the sidewalk on his own, it's also a bit nerve-racking and/or frustrating when he doesn't want to go in the direction that mommy and daddy are walking, or if he does not want to follow "the rules" of walking on his own (staying on the sidewalk, and holding mommy or daddy's hand ... simple rules it might seem, but not for a toddler). We've had more than a few battles with Holden over this, especially during our recent visit to a local farm -- Holden desperately wanted to walk on his own, but the farm has electric fences everywhere and there was no way we were letting him down to walk (resulting in a tantrum, and then we all headed to the car for some chill time and the drive home). I know that these battles are all being fought because Holden is increasingly gaining his own sense of independence, but it's a tough spot to be in with a toddler. Yet it's very cool that he's wanting to walk on his own, and it can be very nice when we have those stretches of calm, directional walking with no fussing ... just taking in the sights, and maybe even picking up some sticks or leaves along the way. Now if Holden would just grow a few inches taller, we wouldn't have to keep bending over to hold his hand ; )

Second, Holden seemed to really love just sitting on the front steps of our house recently. I think he's just becoming so observational, and wanting to see every car, bird, truck, and squirrel that pass by (and name them, or ask us what they are). It's kind of nice to sit on the steps with Holden, as I did this morning for a while. I hope this trend continues ... a toddler wanting to sit is always a good thing.
Third, Holden loves playing with water in the backyard. This past Sunday, we got out the hose and filled up a plastic tub with water. We brought out some blocks and toys, and let Holden go crazy. He was soaked through to the diaper within seconds (daddy helped with this, some). What a great way to spend a hot afternoon in the sun. Now we just need to find one of those little inflatable pools -- Holden would REALLY love that!

A Bedtime Book with the F-Bomb in the Title

2011-05-19T21:58:00.004-05:00

OK, so Holden can have his "Goodnight Moon," but I think I want this book to read at my bedtime: "Go the F**k to Sleep," by author Adam Mansbach. According to initial reviews, Mansback's book (which has gone viral even before it's release next month) perfectly captures the familiar--and unspoken--tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night.

I just needed to post this, but I encourage you to read more from DaddyTypes as well as the LATimes. I think parents need to have a sense of humor (even if brutally honest) ... 'cause if we don't laugh about it, we'll end up crying our eyes out. Mansbach is a bit gruff, but it's funny because it's true.

If you manage to get a copy, let us know what you think. Awesome? Too much?

Words words and more words

2011-05-19T08:02:00.003-05:00

Next week, Holden has his 18 mth doctor's appointment, where the physician will undoubtedly ask us how many words he knows, and the truth is--we have no idea, because we've lost count. From morning until night Holden's a labeling machine, beginning with his bed sheets, which feature a "turtle," "tree" and "owl." He has cute little mispronunciations (blanket is "behbeh," hello is "hewwo"), but overall his pronunciations are getting much better. Dog, for example, used to be "na" (why? I'll never know). Now it's pretty close to the actually word.

Here's a few of my (and his) favorite words and phrases he's been using:

VERBS: play, read, walk, eat, roll
-He's known "walk" and "eat" for a while, but "play" and "roll" have recently come into the regular rotation of words. And he uses the sign for play too, especially when he wants out of his highchair to go have some fun.

"Da, Two, Tre...Eight"
-To encourage him to head up to bed time we count our stairs. And now he count stairs, sort of, in a sing-songy rhythm of "da." But he has TWO and EIGHT down perfectly. :)

"A-B-B-D"
-This is brand new. He's starting to learn the process of singing, and when we sing the ABC song, he starts with us.

"Truck," "Van," "Bus" - Name your transport, he probably knows it.
-Since we're city peeps who have to drive through traffic to work, Holden sees a lot of vehicles. And he's very good at differentiating them. He's currently obsessed with "vans," but a couple of weeks ago it was the metro "train" that goes his daycare, and before that it was trucks and buses. And better yet, he knows "tractor." Thus, when we go up to my parents' farm he'll be prepared to play the label game.

Also, incidentally, every so often sentences pop out, like "that's a ball." They're clear as day, but he doesn't say them regularly, so they always surprise us. But it seems like there's something new every day.

VIDEO: still mr. giggles

2011-05-17T23:08:00.001-05:00

Quick video post proving that our little baby bear is still Mr. Giggles...

Back to bedtime as usual

2011-05-13T12:24:00.002-05:00

To follow-up briefly on the previous post, Holden is back to his usual sleep-loving self, thankfully. We had to do a little sleep training and a lot of reassuring that "daddy and mommy were nearby" and would "be there" in the morning. And--we changed his bedding from flannel to nice cool cotton. Within a day or two after our post, he felt back into his usual routine. The "mother's day incident" as we're going to call it, was just a good reminder that parenting is always full of surprises.

Passing the 18-month milestone with flare

2011-05-09T20:55:00.003-05:00

Holden hit the 18-month-old mark this past week, and he decided to celebrate with flare (and by "flare," I mean "a sudden burst of zeal or anger"). Bryna was out of town on a research trip for most of the week, but we were able to stay connected with her through FaceTime -- which I loved now that I have an iPad 2. Holden seemed to really like it, too, seeing mommy each day to give her kisses (ie. slobbering on the screen). All was good. We picked up Bryna at the airport on Friday evening, and Holden ran to her for a big hug as she walked out of the security area.

But then the weekend happened, and the "flare" began. Saturday evening, Holden had a lot of trouble going to bed (which hadn't happened at home in a REALLY long time). It had been a hectic and atypical day, with trips to the Farmers Market, playground, Cinco de Mayo festival, and ending with us having some friends over to our house for dinner. But Holden seemed totally off his game. Teething?

Then Sunday came ... Mothers Day. And Holden decided to make that day quite memorable. It all started nice -- breakfast, gifts for mommy (which ironically included a coupon for 2 free hugs), and a trip to the park. Then nap time came and went, with lots of flare (ie. no nap, much protest). And another bedtime with lots of protest and resistance from the H-bomb (yes, I'm bringing back that nickname ... it seems appropriate here). So we're going to have to take a rain check on this Mothers Day.

When I dropped Holden off at daycare this morning, I wrote a little note to Holden's teachers that simply said "good luck."

So what's the deal? Well, after some reflection and pondering, it just seems likely to be a second phase of separation anxiety -- probably exaggerated by Bryna's trip this past week. I read that toddlers have a resurgence of separation anxiety right as you've been lulled into believing its all over (right around 17-18 months). Experts say that it finally all over by 3 years (WHAT!?!?!). Anyway, we've been tackling this bout of SA (separation anxiety) by getting back to the core routine, reassuring Holden that we're not leaving him (esp. at night), and other strategies to help ease the pain (for Holden, and for us). We also think that Holden's brain has been on fire recently, with new words popping out all the time as well as an incessant need to label everything or ask what things are -- and that can't help him sleep at night.

So, all in all, Mothers Day weekend was simply a reminder that parenting can be hard (and I think it can be good to have that reminder from time to time ... esp. because it IS hard). And after all of Holden's tantrums during the weekend, Bryna and I sat there late Sunday night exhausted ... both wanting to give our little baby bear a big hug.

300th post!

2011-05-01T14:23:00.004-05:00

Yay! We've made it to our 300th post for the Short Stranger blog. While I know we've been much slower recently with the posting, that's still a post about every 2 or 3 days for the past 2 years. And yes, I said 2 YEARS! This blog is just a couple weeks shy of being 2 years old, which I think is cool.

In order to commemorate our 300th blog post, I thought I would try and find a way to encapsulate our entire blog up to this point. So I went to Wordle.net and created this word cloud from all of our blog entries. This shows the most frequently used words, and the 'clouds' give greater prominence to words that appear the most, like 'Holden,' 'snow,' and 'Missouri Botanical.' There's also 'tornadoes,' 'tornado,' 'storm,' and 'rain,' which seem appropriate recently -- but apparently have always been common themes of our blog posts.

Another milestone is right around the corner, too -- Holden's big 18-month birthday! We'll add some more posts soon about this and all of our new adventures with the little guy.

Fun Despite April Storms

2011-04-24T20:19:00.009-05:00

The weather has been anything but normal since Holden was born about 18 months ago, and this April was no exception. We've been forced to head to the basement twice in the past week, and Friday night's tornadoes in St. Louis were the worst to strike the metropolitan area in over 40 years. I'd say that we've been to the basement with Holden during Tornado Warnings about 7 or 8 times, and each time there was actual threat of a tornado (including the storm this past New Years Eve, which produced a tornado near where my parents used to live ... not too far from us; and then there was the February storms this year, when we were sitting in the basement and witnessed one of our patio tables blow into our basement stairwell).

And aside from the tornadoes, we're now getting a deluge of rain ... ugh. But despite all the extreme weather, we've been able to find time to get out into our garden at home -- and get over to the Missouri Botanical Garden on a regular basis. And when it rains, we just make the best of things inside, building forts or playing with anything in the house that might make a fun an interesting toy.

Here are some quick photos and a video that update what our little buddy has been up to recently:

Novice gardener examines the soil (yep, tastes OK).

Spending time outside whenever possible, even if it means just chilling on the front steps and gazing off into the distance.

Lots of fun at the Missouri Botanical Garden, esp. with Holden's new favorite sculpture -- the sheep. Got to ride several of them, and run around a bunch (always a good thing). And here is the video:

And even when the rain kept us inside, we had lots of fun. This was our latest fort in the dining room, officially named Fort Boppy after the rediscovered boppy pillow became its central (and necessary) feature.

I know that I haven't been stellar at posting new entries to the blog recently, but I hope to get better. Spring is always super busy, but there is always a lot going on in Holden's life to keep the posts coming. Hope to get more updates up very soon (and more videos).

Three Weeks in Spring Time

2011-04-18T09:45:00.010-05:00

If you check in here on a regular basis, you know we love going to the Missouri Botanical Gardens, the neighborhod attraction that's practically in our backyard. And in springtime, there's always something new to see. Here are some pics from three (wildly different) consecutive weeks of visits.

Week 1: Mar 27. Day after a snow storm. Cherry Blossoms blooming.

Week 2: April 3. Children's Garden Opening weekend. Beautiful weather.

Week 3: April 9. Tulips and crabapple trees in full bloom. Temperature - upper 80s.

Discoveries

2011-04-05T23:29:00.002-05:00

Everyday Holden surprises us with a new skill, or I should say--a new way to entertain us. Often, this involves his own unique interpretation of something we've been trying to teach him. A sample of just a few things that make us chuckle:

-I've tried to teach him what a chimpanzee says by curling my hands under my armpits and making the "ooo ooo" sound. He uses "jazz hands" when he does it.

-Thanks to a book that says that "teeth are not for biting, teeth are for smiling," he's learned how to smile on command. So bring on the cheesy pictures...and the fake smile.

-His teachers at school taught him to pant when he's asked what sound a dog makes. Yep, he really does pant.

-When we ask him what sound a cat makes, he screams. Which is pretty accurate, as you'd know, if you've ever been around our cats.

-He has the keenest sense of hearing for the sound of chirping. The faintest sound, and he blurts out "bird."

-I am, and forever will be, "ba ba." "Ma ma?" That's either "more milk" or "Miss Mo," his teacher at school.

-Holden can tell you what sound a coffee maker makes. Because ours grinds its beans when we turn it on. And because we love coffee.

-He has his own special dance. We call it the Holden shuffle. His daycare teachers call it the running man. I'm convinced his mad dancing skills are thanks to his Black Eyed Peas days in the womb.

a snowy weekend in March

2011-03-27T20:43:00.006-05:00

Even though it is late March here in St. Louis (Missouri, not Minnesota), we had a very wintry weekend. On Saturday, it snowed 5 inches (more in surrounding areas), and we pretty much stayed inside all day and watched Nature coat everything in a thick layer of sticky white snow. If you set aside the fact that it was 85 degrees just a few days ago, the snow was actually very beautiful and interesting. It dusted, coated, and then buried all the blooming flowers, blossoming plants, and sprouting leaves, making for some stunning scenes.

While I did not capture any good photos outside, I captured some snapshots of what our day was like from the inside. Holden loves snow (as we've mentioned here and there), so he was so excited to see it snow again -- we spent much of the day pressed up against the glass watching the flakes fall from the sky.

We played with every toy in the house, made another fort for Holden, and even read a little art history (see photos at the bottom of this post). And today, the snow melted away completely, so we made a trip to the Botanical Gardens to see what was still blooming (lots, actually). Overall, a fun, wintry weekend. After a couple more chances for snow this week, we may actually be in the clear and headed toward some real spring weather (ie. rain).

man on fire

2011-03-22T22:21:00.007-05:00

While we haven't been posting here a lot here recently, Holden has been changing a ton each week. He is truly a "man on fire!" Or, at least his brain is on fire. He's constantly working on new words and new skills, and it is so amazing to watch these changes. In fact, I was out of town recently on a work trip for 4 days, and Holden had changed so much by the time I returned.

He loves playing with blocks and puzzles, he always enjoys reading, and really likes being outside (esp. now that the weather is getting warmer). Tonight, Holden was standing by the front door, and Bryna and I said to him, "Holden, are you trying to tell us that you want to go for a walk," and he nodded with a very serious look on his face and said "uh-huh" as he reached for the door knob.

Anyway, I wanted to briefly try and post an update on some of things Holden's been doing in the past couple weeks. Here goes:

As you can see here, Holden's been getting really good at coloring and drawing. He especially likes the fine art of pointillism.

Holden now has three sets of blocks, and he absolutely loves to build big towers. This one was done with help from daddy, but Holden built most of the top half. And he still has a very skew or asymmetrical design sense -- he likes to keep things off balance and leaning in one direction.

I worked with Holden to create this chair (upper left) for him to sit on. The design was, of course, inspired by the eccentric furniture design of Carlo Bugatti, who designed the chair on the right which is in the Art Museum's collection here in St. Louis. Holden loved sitting in his little Bugatti chair (I wish I had a good picture to share).

Another tower, but this time it reached such heights without any help from daddy or mommy. And in case you're wondering, yes, Holden managed to topple the entire tower by trying to add yet another block to the top (a bit out of our little buddy's reach). At daycare, the classroom has even run out of blocks when Holden starts stacking them.

Finally, this past weekend (with daddy out of town), Holden and mommy built a fort under the dining room table. Holden had a blast in his own little hiding place, and he keeps asking for us to build another fort for him. Unfortunately, when he stands up, he now bumps his head on the underside of the table (ouch!).

See, I told you he was a 'man on fire.'

Punk Rocker

2011-03-16T23:49:00.003-05:00

Busy times means less blogging. Things have been crazy in chez Campbell-Murawski, but we have some fun stories to share, so we'll catch up soon. In the meantime, to satiate anyone who might be stopping by for updates, here's our artist/punk rocker in his very best at daycare recently:

Bath Time...

2011-02-20T22:28:00.005-06:00

...is a part of our regular routine.

...is something Holden has loved since he was about 2 months old.
...is when Holden gets his last sillies out.
...is just too cute to resist photographing (even if the lighting is bad).

VIDEOS: Still a Super Silly Boy

2011-02-18T20:58:00.006-06:00

One thing that I always love to post about (esp. when Holden was an infant) is how silly he is. As he becomes more and more of a toddler, he keeps getting a better and better sense of humor -- and does some of the funniest things. And I still absolutely love his laugh/giggle. More than a year ago, when Holden was just over a month old, he was already becoming Mr. Giggles (see post) ... and that silliness only continued, leading to my favorite video of Holden giggling EVER! (see post). Last March, we added a nice video compilation that provided evidence of the continued silliness (see post).

Here are a couple videos from last weekend, when Holden had a major silly streak. I'll let them speak for themselves:

spring arrives early

2011-02-18T20:46:00.004-06:00

Not that I want to jinx us here in St. Louis, but spring has definitely arrived early this year (or, at least for now). After a couple months of nasty snow, ice, and near-zero temperatures, we've recently seen temperatures climb into the 70s with sunshine to boot. And nothing could make Holden happier -- he just loves the outdoors!

Last weekend, we went to the zoo on Sunday (and so did everyone else in St. Louis, by the way), and today after picking Holden up from daycare, we all went for a walk before dinner. That's something I don't think we've done since November, and it was super nice. Maybe if this warm streak continues over the weekend, we can find some time to go to Tower Grove Park or the Botanical Garden. While I know that we're in for at least one more burst of cold weather (after all, it's still February), I think we're all psyched about this much-anticipated taste of spring.

Bring on the daffodils!!

My name is...

2011-02-14T21:30:00.005-06:00

As most humanities grad students know (whether they want to or not), sometime around the 15th month of a child's life, he/she goes through what the theorist Jacques Lacan calls the mirror stage. At the "mirror stage" a child begins to recognize that the child in the mirror is not someone else, it's them. In psychoanalytical theory, this moment is critical: it is when we develop a sense of subjectivity, or 'self,' that is...well...inherently fraught.

Fraught or not, we're pretty sure Holden has hit this stage...because when we ask him where "Holden is" he points to both the person in the mirror AND himself. And today, when he saw a picture of himself, he pointed at it, then at himself.

Pretty cool right? Even cooler: he seems to be learning how to say his name. When we ask him about "Holden," he's been pointing to himself and saying "Da-den."

A sense of 'self.' Pretty heady stuff. And if Lacan is right about this stage, let's just hope that he--and Freud--are wrong about their theories of mothers.

my architect

2011-02-05T19:54:00.005-06:00

Holden's been stacking his blocks a lot recently, and building some pretty interesting projects. So it constantly leads me to ponder, what kind of an architect he would be.

Here is his latest funky construction, followed by some likely influences ; )

or, it could be more like this...

finally, we have a 20 pound child

2011-02-04T13:47:00.002-06:00

Today was Holden's 15-month appointment, and finally, after more than a year of feeding this guy, he tipped the 20 pound mark (20 lbs, 12 oz, to be exact). Woot! He's still in the 6th percentile, but he's gained a bit in height, up to the 10th percentile. Don't even try to ask me how tall he is...they told us in centimeters and I immediately forgot the number.

Other than those facts, there's not a lot to say about the doctor's appointment. All looked normal, and the doctor noted that his upper molars are "right there, just below the surface." She couldn't get a look at the lower molars, but I know for a fact that they are also almost ready to break through. It's been a long time since we've seen any new teeth and the H-bomb's been quite cranky about the whole phenomenon. Perhaps we'll have a nice little "tooth explosion" soon and see 4 pop through at once. One can only hope.

getting excited about science

2011-01-30T21:28:00.005-06:00

Science Center Parking ... $9.00

Tickets to the Discovery Room ... $7.00

One year's undergraduate tuition with room & board at MIT ... $53,000

Watching your 15-month-old son get excited about science ... priceless.

Touch and Feel

2011-01-27T22:09:00.003-06:00

One of Holden's favorite parts of daycare, I've been told, is the "sensory table"--a concave table space that his teacher fill with things like sand, dried pasta, ripped up tissue paper, and--apparently--some kind of cool bluish suds. Here are a few pictures of Holden taking full advantage of the kind of mess that he couldn't often make at home.

Newborns vs Toddlers

2011-01-25T22:31:00.005-06:00

A very recent baby boom among our colleagues and friends has made me reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly of newborn vs toddler parenting. Yes, I must admit that I occasionally get "baby lust," as they say, for those early days when Holden was a wee wee one. But then I remember the 2-hr feedings and late night wake ups, and things stop seeming so rosy. So I thought it would be fun to consider some of things that make the "newborn" stage great, and some of the things that definitely don't!

Five Great Things about the "Newborn" Stage
5) Limited mobility (no baby proofing required!)
4) Communication is Direct (sure, they cry a lot, but it only means one of 2 or 3 things)
3) Need to do something? Just wear them! (I can't emphasize this benefit enough)
2) Car-seat sleeping (you can still bring them to parties at this stage, and they'll snooze through the entire thing)
1) The way they fall asleep on your chest for hours (nothing better!)

Five Not-So-Great Things about the "Newborn" Stage
5) Lack of adult sleep (no explanation required)
4) Limited mobility (I just LOVE watching my toddler run around with glee)
3) Breast Pumps, Bottles, and the constant dish washing, ugh
2) Sooo much diaper changing
1) No hugs, no blowing kisses, no "mamas," no giggles (these things light up my day, every day)

close encounters of the stuffed animal kind

2011-01-24T21:32:00.012-06:00

Recently, Holden has grown quite attached to his expanding cadre of stuffed animal friends. He has some at daycare, some in his room upstairs, and some in our living room (and probably one or two in the car, too). When I was a kid, I loved stuffed animals, so I love encouraging his attachment to his little plush friends. And, it turns out that it can be very beneficial to a toddler's development to play with stuffed animals, as it can help them develop important social and emotional skills through role playing and pretend play. During nap time at daycare, Holden often gathers his stuffed animals (esp. Dog, who we'll have to feature in a future blog post) and has a party at his cot. His favorite animal rotates among the group (which is good ... prevents jealous rivalries from rising up within the crew).

For quite some time, his hands-down favorite stuffed animal was Terry the Pterodactyl. When Holden would wake up in the morning, he would reach out for his little psychedelic buddy, squeezing him and holding on to him during diaper changes. He still loves Terry, but Holden has learned to share the love with all of his animal friends.

So I simply wanted to introduce some of Holden's plush posse:

Reintroducing Terry the Pterodactyl
(quite the party animal)

Chuckanucka
(Holden now has more teeth than he does)

Teddy the Bear
(this was my stuffed animal when I was a kid)

Black Bear
(we picked this up for Holden during our trip to Tennessee)

[not pictured here] There's also Rosie the Bear, Peaco (another Ugly Doll), the aforementioned Dog, an unnamed blue bear that used to play lullaby music, and an array of smaller plush toys like some tiny bears and a little dog that barks when you squeeze it. I'm sure I'm forgetting someone, and for that I apologize -- but we'll have to introduce more of Holden's furry friends in a follow-up post.

My kid could paint that!

2011-01-23T14:15:00.021-06:00

How is it possible that an art historian and a museum educator can have a child and not be constantly posting about his explorations in art? I'm not sure, but I hope I can start to catch up with this post -- which will include images of Holden's "recent work" interspersed with snarky banter about the art world (I couldn't resist).

To start with, Holden gets to create art almost every day at his day care. They have an art activity room, but the teachers also come up with fun and creative things for the little tots to do in their own classroom. For example, a couple months ago, the teachers taped paper to the bottom of a table, and had the kids scoot under the table to paint on their backs ... a la Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel. Some of the kids were too scared to do this, but not Holden -- he had a blast! They also do a lot of finger painting, and playing with materials and textures with art projects. Outside of his day care, we also make sure Holden's coloring and drawing (how else is he going to maintain his mad art skills?!). These past few weeks, in the cold of winter, we've been going to the Climatron at the Botanical Garden where they have a coloring activity station for kids. Holden was more interested in the kids books and puzzles, but I managed to catch a pic of him coloring with mommy (shown here).

But let's get down to business ... so how does Holden's painting hold up to professional artists working in the "real" art world? I mean, ever since the 2007 film "My Kid Could Paint That," I think every parent wonders if their toddler can make paintings that they could slip into the Museum of Modern Art and absolutely get away with it (or, if not, whether they could pull off a scheme that would get them lots of money and media attention at the expense of their 4-year-old child, and absolutely get away with it). The 2007 film obviously sparked a lot of controversy, as it tapped into the single most frequent comment or thought that visitors have when looking at modern abstract painting ... "my kid could paint that." I've heard it in lots of variations, but it's always a challenge hurdled at any museum that displays work by artists like Jackson Pollock, Willem de Kooning, Joan Mitchell, Cy Twombly, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Julian Schnabel, etc. etc., and to the museum educators at those museums who are faced with these stubborn (yet somewhat valid) concerns about modern and contemporary abstract or minimalist painting. This challenge is particularly difficult for the museum educator who happens to have a small child at home who is creating art and coming out with products that seem only mere steps away from hanging on the wall of an art gallery or auction house. Perhaps these feelings are somewhat akin to those of the parents of Marla Olmstead (the talented child at the center of "My Kid Could Paint That"). Anyway, I thought I'd have a bit of fun looking at some of Holden's recent art projects through the lens of some "art speak" and those artists Holden already seems to be paralleling:

Here are two rather transgressive paintings that Holden has created in the past 3 months, both untitled. You can see how he truly cites the smudge as each work's proper subject -- each mark with its own history. More performative than illustrative, Holden's inimitable visual language of scribbles, scratches, and scrawls are employed to both suggestive and sublime effects
[for those of you interested, I'm pulling this straight from the Art Institute of Chicago's section on artist Cy Twombly]:

The image below is a detail of a work that Holden created by scribbling on a piece of reflective cardboard. What parent wouldn't be proud of such spontaneous mark-making, obviously the result of both split-second decision-making and happenstance, choreography and chance. Each physical "performance" is a unique and unrepeatable event, but the final product is always subject to artistic will.
[these fine words have been adapted from the National Gallery of Art's praise of none-other-than Jackson Pollock].

And here are some of the artists and artworks that Holden is aspiring toward as he develops his own painterly style (you can see some similarity here already, and perhaps even with your own kid's art):

Joan Mitchell
(don't get me wrong, I really do love her stuff)

Cy Twombly (adult)

Cy again (much deeper)

2010 graduate from Yale's MFA painting program
(actually, I think Holden's already doing better than this)

OK, snarkiness aside, I am actually really happy that Holden gets to experiment with finger-painting, coloring, and making messes with art supplies ... and I hope he never loses his excitement and creativity. While Holden's paintings shown above will never be exhibited at the Museum of Modern Art (unless I try to slip one in on my next visit), they will certainly be on view on our fridge ... at least until we get a fresh supply of new work. And we'll try and keep you updated on his expanding oeuvre ; )

Sign Language = Fewer Tears

2011-01-23T13:18:00.005-06:00

Holden, Mike, and I have become big fans of sign language over the last few months. It's made so much of our daily life easier. Even though Holden's been learning both signs and words at about the same rate recently, the signs have proven helpful as points of clarification. And apparently at daycare they've been incredibly useful as well: his teacher reported him using "help" recently, in addition to his collection of "mores" and "pleases." According to a recent article in the Philadelphia Inquirer, sign language can continue to be useful into the terrible twos. The ability to make their needs known can simply lead to fewer tears. And as a blogger on babble.com notes, signs also help with language development.

So why signs instead of just words? As the Inquirer article notes, babies' tongue and mouth muscles don't develop as quickly as hand muscles, so even if they can understand words they can only vocalize them in a basic way (or not at all) when they are young. Signs are a way for them to fill in the communication gap. Admittedly, some signs are also too hard for them to make at a young age, but they can--and do--create their own primitive versions of them. For example, the sign for water (using the "w" sign tapped against your chin) is hard to do:
But Holden adjusts by putting his open fingers against chin saying "wa wa." (For more pictures of signs like these see www.babies-and-sign-language.com.) Banana is also very hard to do, but Holden's managed to create a version of it that's easy to understand. Incidentally, these are all ASL signs. The benefit of using ASL signs, instead of some kind of invented 'baby' signs, is that they are widely known and can be easily used at daycare and later in life.

So here's an incomplete list of some of signs that Holden knows:
-more
-milk
-water
-cup/drink (we use it to ask if he's thirsty)
-eat (used to see if he's hungry)
-book (he now verbalizes this one instead)
-banana (this is the only food we've done, we're working on more soon!)
-please
-help
-all done
-up
-"itsy bitsy spider" (not an ASL sign per se, it's just his favorite song!)

Language Immersion

2011-01-17T09:54:00.006-06:00

As Mike mentioned in the previous post, Holden has recently been surprising us everyday with a new word (or new primitive version of a word). He's also been demonstrating new signs at a fairly rapid rate, which is making me realize that WE need to learn some new signs to teach him. I also realized recently that only we can fully understand his developments--that is to say, when others see him babbling and flapping his hands about, much of it seems like, well, babbling. And when I'm around other kids whose parents SWEAR their child knows numerous words, I'm left wondering if they're imagining things.

I'm not bringing this up to belittle my or any other child's language process. Rather, I just want to highlight the collaborative process that makes language happen for a child. Scholars often liken the child's learning process to that of someone in a foreign land. First a person learns crude versions of the most necessary words ("si," "por favore," etc.), often using gestures to help make his/her intent clear. The longer one is immersed in the foreign land, the more their language, then tone and even sense of humor, develops. But I think in the case of toddlers, this goes both ways. Parents who are immersed in their toddler's world learn their child's particular quirks--their sense of humor, what bothers them, what makes them laugh. And they respond to their mumblings because they understand the context.

Thus, even if it sounds like "ba ba," the parents know it's "blackberries" (or "brown bear" in another context) because they have interacted in an intimate way with their child. Signs help, I think (even if they child creates his/her own unique version of the sign). They help the parents know when "mo" means "more" or when it means "milk". And incidentally, it helps the daycare provider or anyone else that might know sign language. But what makes language development so exciting and so magical is the intimate collaborative process between parents and child, the co-discovery of new ways to communicate. I LOVE that I know exactly what my child means when he says "mo" or "no" (which means "snow" not "no," in case you were wondering). And I love that he trusts me enough to try out new unsophisticated versions of words. And I thought learning to walk was cool. Not even close to this process.

The Word

2011-01-11T20:09:00.005-06:00

At this stage in his little toddler life, Holden's brain seems to be on fire. He's just processing so much, and trying to communicate more and more each day. In the past few weeks, he has definitely begun to understand a lot more that we are saying, too. And he's constantly working on new words and new sounds. And that brings me to tonight's word ... or words, rather.

The past couple of days, Holden has two big words that he has been working on. The first one is "blackberries." For quite some time now, this has been one of his favorite foods ... and they've been on sale at the grocery stores, which is even better. He can shovel down about half a package of blackberries at one sitting, even when the berries are really sour (aka "out of season"). Tonight at dinner, he decided this was his new favorite word. Except, when he says it, it sounds more like "bla-ba's," but he points feverishly at the blackberry package. He probably said it more than a dozen times this evening while he was eating the last of our blackberries, and then he got so mad when they were all gone.

The second word that Holden has been working on this week is "Isla" (pronounced "eye-la," although Holden makes it sound more like "yay-ya"). This is our friend Kimberly's daughter, Isla, who is just a bit younger than Holden. They go to the same daycare, and used to be in adjacent classrooms -- although I'm not sure how often they see each other at daycare these days, with Holden moved to the toddler room. Last weekend, Kimberly and Dave (and Isla) invited us over for brunch, and Holden was practicing saying "Isla" before our visit. And ever since then, whenever he sees the picture of Isla that is on our fridge (from their holiday card), Holden gets super excited and starts saying "yay-ya," "yay-ya" in his best attempt to say "Isla."

So, Holden's definitely continuing to work on his words, now making valiant attempts at much more complicated words like "blackberries" and "Isla." He's been doing a really good job recently with simpler words like "ball," "book," "done," "more," and even taking a stab at "water" (which is "wa" or "wa-wa") ... and this is all on top of the sign language he uses on a constant basis. But this all means that he's comprehending a much larger vocabulary, and then trying to make some of these new sounds on his own. Like I said, his brain is on fire.

Sledding!!

2011-01-07T23:51:00.003-06:00

Over Christmas weekend, we traveled to my parent's house in Iowa. In the past it's been incredibly cold in Iowa over the holidays, but thankfully this year it was in the upper 20s. And there were about 4 to 6 inches of snow on the ground. In other words...perfect weather for introducing Holden to sledding! So Grandpa C. found an old family sled, and mom and dad--and uncle Wil--pushed Holden about through the backyard. Our only problem was that pushing him around was exhausting, but Holden loved it so much he didn't want to stop. Thankfully--eventually--he took a spill when Wil pulled him a hill and did a little "face-plant" in the snow. And finally, he was ready to go inside...where Grandma C. had hot chocolate (well, luke-warm chocolate, to be accurate) ready for him. A nice Christmas afternoon, indeed.

Christmas gifts

2011-01-05T23:54:00.005-06:00

I think 13.5 months might be the perfect age for Christmas. They are excited about the lights and the gifts, but they haven't been affected by commercialism. In other words, you can get away with giving them hand-me-downs. Or clothes. Or gifts they've already played with before.

As long as they come with tissue paper, or wrapping paper, or boxes.
Because isn't that the fun part?

projects

2011-01-02T11:04:00.002-06:00

Often when Holden's independently playing he starts on what we like to call "projects." He gets very focused at completing whatever task it is. Very slow, serious, and deliberate. The task usually involves his blocks, and we--the adults--usually don't understand it. Here, above, is one of today's projects, which will call chair-block design. The mind of a toddler is a wonderful mystery.

Second Night Syndrome

2010-12-29T10:36:00.003-06:00

Last weekend we visited the Campbell grandparents in Iowa for Christmas (more on that in a prettier, more picture-filled post), and as expected, Holden had some trouble sleeping on the second night there. This has been a trend for the Short Stranger for months now--going back at least to our summer vacation in TN. Only rarely do we stay anywhere for longer than 2 nights, but when we do, he seems okay on Night Three. So from now on I deem this phenomenon "second night syndrome"--and will mentally prepare myself for a rough second night.

It makes sense, right? After traveling, he's usually pretty exhausted on the first night, so even though he may have trouble going to sleep, once he's out, he's good until morning. But on night two he's not quite as exhausted, he's in a strange place, in the same room as his parents, AND he's been busy exploring it all day. Heck, it's not like I sleep much better.

Usually when he wakes up on these nights, it takes us a while but we can get him back to bed after about 30-60 minutes of singing, story-reading, or (before age 1) nursing. This time we were so fearful that the nearby aunt and uncle could hear him use his newly-minted angry-screaming-"no no"-voice that we ended up letting him fall asleep on us. Not the first time, and probably not the last. Looking forward to the age when we can "use our words," as the daycare teachers say, to get over the second night hump.

Oh, and in case your wondering--he had no trouble sleeping when we returned home. Never does. And that's why it's simply the "second night syndrome."

A Blockhead Already?

2010-12-21T23:06:00.008-06:00

No, I'm not referring to our son as "a dolt," but rather desperately trying to make a reference to the 233-episode, 35-year-running American television classic Gumby. Don't you remember Gumby's arch nemeses the Blockheads, a pair of humanoid, red-colored figures with block-shaped heads who wreaked mischief and havoc at all times? Well, not only has Holden grown more mischievous and toddler-like in recent months, but he's also grown quite an affinity for his toy blocks. Holden is constantly dumping his Edushape blocks (which are great!) all over the floor, running around with them in his hands, trying to building with them, and sometimes even dropping them on the cats.

This past weekend (before Bryna and I got sick as dogs ... ugh -- another post coming soon about that), Holden and I had some time to chill at home and have fun with his blocks. He is now able to attach 2 pieces together, which I'm very impressed with -- go Holden! Soon he'll be building miniature Parthenons in the living room.

Anyway, here are some photos from Holden's recent fun with blocks. We've got a video to add soon, too, showing Holden carrying his blocks one by one to drop in his pack'n'play. What an imagination the boy has already!

(... and I've been waiting to include a Gumby reference for quite some time)

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

2010-12-12T22:56:00.003-06:00

Holden pining for a chance to play in the snow
(sorry buddy, it's just too freakin' cold!).

Take a look, It's in a book...

2010-12-12T21:27:00.004-06:00

Even though the classic show "Reading Rainbow" has been off the air now for more than 4 years, Holden has found inspiration outside of LeVar Burton to begin a love of reading at an early age. Over the past few weeks, he's been gaining more of an independent interest in books and reading. In fact, a couple times this past week, after I get home from picking Holden up from daycare, he'd immediately head over to the cabinet where we keep his stash of books, grab a favorite book, and then walk up to me and want to be read to. This is an exciting development, since it confirms that Holden actually likes books (his current favorites are "Maisy Drives" and "Busy Bear Cubs").

To further support early reading with Holden, we added some reading time to his bedtime routine--and Holden seems to enjoy that, too. He gets to pick between "Goodnight Moon" and "The Going to Bed Book" each night (who wouldn't love that?). And even though this bedtime reading can get Holden slightly revved-up before he goes to sleep (esp. as he points at the two little kittens and a pair of mittens), he never has any trouble going to sleep after the book is done.

While it can sometimes be difficult or seemingly silly to read to Holden at age 1 (because sometimes he'll have no interest, or grab the book and throw it on the ground, or he'll start chewing on the pages), I know that it is so important to get him in the habit of reading and enjoying books. He's learning the basics of how to read a book, and doing a lot of "pretend reading" these days--when he'll sit down with a book and just flip through the pages in no particular order.

Not to go on a rant here, but I recently saw a government study which reported that less than 50% of parents read to their toddlers on a daily basis (and it starts to drop off after the age of 2, which is such a crucial time for a child's cognitive development). I would wager a bet that the main culprit is television, but I'm sure computers are not far behind. Anyway, I'm super excited that Holden's starting to choose reading as an activity ... and Bryna and I are anxious for the day when we can read Harry Potter to him ; )

Thanksgiving Weekend Extravaganza

2010-11-28T19:34:00.011-06:00

After a whirlwind month or two of work-related activities, we finally had a nice long break over Thanksgiving to enjoy together as a family. And to make the fullest of the holiday break, we packed it full of activities (it gets hard to entertain a little one when their walking!).

Thanksgiving with the Murawski grandparents--on what had to have been the coldest day of the season--included lots of play time with their toys, and of course, cooking cooking cooking. Holden was remarkably interested in all the action in the kitchen, and spent a good deal of time watching grandma cook while sitting in mom or dad's lap.

Once back in St. Louis, we decided to take advantage of the time off to visit the holiday train show at the Missouri Botanical Gardens, which like last year, a sleepy Holden only found slightly interesting (until we let him roam around on his own, that is).

And we also decided to let Holden decorate the cookie in the "ghost cookie kit" his granparents gave him for Halloween. We're still not sure if this was a good idea...
I think the most amazing thing about this holiday was that a year ago, I so distinctly remember Holden going through a 3-week growth spurt. When he wasn't (almost constantly) nursing, I was wearing him.

This was him on one of his first stroller walks a year ago:

And here he is all bundled up today:

Tending to that other baby...

2010-11-23T21:00:00.004-06:00

So for the few strangers out there who happen upon our blog and don't already know who we are, along with being Holden's mom, I am also a PhD candidate in art history. This means I have another baby named "dissertation" that I am working to bring into this world. Recently, this baby has been going through the "terrible twos"--and I've had to spend a lot of time nurturing it (ie applying for grants), which is why I've been somewhat lagging on my blog-posting duties. But now, after a whirlwind of conference talks, proposals, and grant applications, my schedule is finally easing up a bit. And what better way to mark this moment than to start the first in a series of posts that focuses on balancing mothering and academia.

Here's the obvious: balancing it all can be tough. It can cause bouts of guilt. You can make you start to question your choices, and there are moments when a person doing this going into academia, especially, wonders if there's any point at all to this whole project. But for me, I can't imagine not working. And more than that--I've found myself even more productive in school since I had a child, and more fulfilled as a parent when I take the time to nurture my intellectual side. But as many out there in academia have noted, there are a lot of obstacles to overcome in this particular career field. Hence, my decision to spend a little more time talking about this issue over the coming days.

hangin' with daddy...

2010-11-20T13:14:00.003-06:00

Bryna is out of town this weekend, so the boy and I are just hangin' at home. This morning, we dumped out some boxes of clothes that Holden's cousin Joey is letting us borrow (yay!), and Holden had fun trying on some new hats ... while sitting in a laundry basket, of course.

Then, at lunch, Holden seemed to want to eat a banana by himself, so I just handed it over -- the whole thing. He broke it in half, and quickly devoured it bite by bite. He's definitely been wanting to feed himself more and more recently, using a spoon on his own and also grabbing bigger and bigger pieces of food.

I've been trying to take some new videos of Holden, but he just won't stay still long enough for me to get any usable footage. However, I'm working on it ... and I hope to upload a short video montage soon.

ready for the holidays?

2010-11-18T22:12:00.004-06:00

If Holden takes after his mom, he's already getting excited about the Holiday Season. Or maybe he's just mesmerized by the glitter in Imran's snow globes (foul temptress).

Big Transition Week

2010-11-18T20:21:00.003-06:00

This week has been a big transition week for Holden ... and also a fairly rough week, too. The really big transition that I speak of is Holden's official move from the "infant room" to the "toddler room" at daycare. This process started on Monday, with Holden spending 2 hours in his new room, and the rest of the day back with his infant buddies -- and a bit more time each day, until tomorrow when he will spend the whole day with his new, older (and much bigger) friends.

Apparently youngsters Holden's age are very sensitive to transitions like this, and there has been lots of ink spilled about how best to handle such a move. After reading some of the research (yes, in my spare time ... or something like that), our daycare center seems to actually know what they are doing. It's key that Holden has some exposure to his new room before the transition ... check! It's also very important that he get some time to see his old room during the transition ... check! Our center has really been transitioning him ever since he arrived back in September, as he's been spending time in the "toddler room" for several months, getting to know the space, teachers, and other kids.

So Holden's been taking to the transition really well! In fact, his first nap on the toddler beds (ie. small cots that lay close to the ground) was today, and he slept longer that any other kid in his new class -- take that new kids! And despite a few bewildered mornings, Holden seems to really like his new digs. Of course, I'm keeping my eye on the biggest kid in the room, who has already thrown a toy at Holden ... he'd better not mess with my boy, or he'll have hell to pay (come on, I'm allowed to play up the toddler drama a bit, right?).

Other than his transition, Holden has been having a rough week -- probably because of teething. He's had several nights where he has woken up very upset, and has been really hard to get back to sleep (or, at least, we haven't experienced anything like this for a while, so it may seem more traumatic than it is). Who knows ... maybe Holden is truly upset about his move to the toddler room at daycare, and his anxiety is being taken out late at night when mommy and daddy are fast asleep. Ahhhhh, parenting.

Anyway, I thought I'd provide a quick update, since this has been a long yet important week. Out little H-bomb is truckin' through it, and so are we.

Busy Mommy

2010-11-09T20:13:00.003-06:00

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....or so goes my life right now as a PhD student trying to juggle grant applications, conference papers, and a walking toddler. Since Holden started daycare, my academic work has kicked into high gear, and I've had hardly a moment to fully process--and put into words--my thoughts on this first year as a mother. That said, I really do have much to say on the matter, and promise, after a whirlwind round of deadlines passes in the next couple of weeks, that I will reflect back on the year.

traumatic doctor's visit

2010-11-06T13:56:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, Holden has his scheduled 1-year doctor appointment. No big deal -- I've brought him to other doctor's appointments before when he gets weighed, measured, a quick check-up, and then usually some shots to keep on track with his immunizations. While Holden never likes the shots, he's always really good about it and only cries for a minute. Everything pretty much went as usual for his 1-year visit, except after they asked me if I wanted to have him tested for lead (which required a blood sample). Since we live in a very old house, I thought this would be a good idea -- and our pediatrician also encouraged us to get the blood test. So after we left their office, we headed down to the 3rd floor to the Lab for Holden to get some blood taken for this test ... and that was the beginning of the most traumatic experience Holden (or me) has had since his birth!!!

First of all, the place that we were sent to for this test was called LabCorps, Inc. So it sounds basically like some company that just does tests like this all day long, probably staffed by nurses who are trying to get this done as quickly as possible (but perhaps not as painlessly as possible). But I wasn't worried, because I had assumed that taking a blood sample from a baby would essentially be like getting another shot (I mean, how much blood do they really need?!). Holden's name was called, and in we went. After rolling up Holden's sleeve, the nurse asked me to give him a big bear hug to help hold him still, and then in she went with the needle (attached to a long tube with a bottle at the end of it) ... and Holden began howling like a wild animal!!! Wow, I've never heard him shriek and scream like that before, with tears pouring down his face. The nurse was obviously having trouble keeping the needle in his arm, as he used all of his strength to wiggle and kick and convulse. After about 3 or 4 minutes of this, she stopped (and I thought, "oh good, that is over ... what a nightmare, but at least we're done"). WRONG! She didn't get enough blood, so she needed to try again on Holden's other arm. WHAT??!!??!!

The nurse went to go get another nurse (his name was Nicolai), and all three of us held Holden as she made attempt #2 to take the blood sample. This time, Holden's screaming reached a whole new level (on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1o being the sound of a baby seal being beaten with a blunt object, Holden's screaming probably reached a 12). It took forever for them to get enough blood this time (WAY more than I ever thought would be needed for a test like this), but eventually it was all over. Holden calmed down (although he was shaking for another 10-15 minutes after this). As we walked back into the waiting room and then to the elevator, I realized that everyone on that floor of the office building had heard Holden's screams. One woman said to me, "I hope you punched whoever was doing that to your poor little baby." I agree, I should have punched the nurse ... and Nicolai (although I'm pretty sure he could take me).

Moral of this story: don't agree to any blood test for your baby unless it is absolutely necessary. That was an awful experience, and it's going to take me a while to get over it (I'm sure Holden has already forgotten about it ... or, at least I hope so). And this was on top of 4 shots he received at the doctor's visit, so our poor little guy was sporting 6 band-aids yesterday. I bet all the other kids at daycare thought they were cool!

'now life begins': a reflection on year one

2010-11-04T21:27:00.009-05:00

Exactly one year has passed since our little Short Stranger came into our lives, and, I have to admit, reflecting on the last 365 days is not an easy task. Perhaps part of my problem is that the past year has felt like ten years -- mostly because a life without Holden seems so distant and unfathomable. My entire being has changed since this day last year, often in ways that seem difficult to describe. Before Holden was born, people tried to explain how much things would change and what it would mean to have a whole new life to care for (and I'm sure I try to tell that to other people a bunch now, too). For me, it did not begin to sink in until a tiny newborn Holden grabbed a hold of my finger in his first few moments of life outside the womb -- and I thought to myself ... "now life begins."

In another way, the past year has gone by in a flash. I can't believe Holden is one year old! He is no longer a baby, but is becoming a boy. He's moving up to the toddler room at daycare in a week or two, and he's been having the first real burst of separation anxiety (which probably also makes me more sentimental about the year past). It's also amazing to think that in the past 2-3 months we've transitioned to having someone else take care of Holden for almost half of his waking hours (but I can't imagine how it would have worked any other way -- and the experience is good for Holden, esp. as he moves to a class with more kids his age).

I know that it seems cliche to write about "how much has changed in the past year" or "how fast they grow up," but this is so much different than those times when you sit on your birthday and review the year gone by and the things you've accomplished (ie. got that promotion at work, learned how to tango, traveled to Europe, feel older ... but only slightly and when I look closely at myself in the mirror). For me, today is a much different type of retrospection -- which has left me at a loss to adequately describe the last year, and what to expect from the next year. I do know that every day with Holden in our lives is awesome, and I know that Holden's mom -- and my wife, Bryna -- absolutely rocks! We got through this past year as a team, and I'm looking forward to countless years ahead shared together.

Happy birthday to Holden ... and congratulations to us for making it to this big milestone with our Short Stranger!

Birthday/Halloween Weekend

2010-11-03T22:18:00.008-05:00

While Holden doesn't officially turn 1 year old until tomorrow (about 23 hours from now, to be precise), we decided to have his big birthday bash this past Saturday -- the day before Halloween. Other than being an exhausting weekend, it was very fun and Holden had a blast! Both sets of grandparents came into town to see their little guy celebrate the big day, and lots of friends (young and old ... I mean, middle-aged) came, too.

And as with every 1-year-old birthday party, the highlight of the evening was Holden's attempt to eat cake (or cupcake, in this case -- I baked pumpkin cupcakes for the event, which were good except for the frosting). To everyone's chagrin, Holden did not make a huge mess out of his cupcake and get frosting in his hair. He was a bit more meticulous at eating his cupcake, but messy nonetheless.

Sunday was Halloween, so we prepped ourselves and Holden for his first trick-or-treating outing. Holden was a monkey for his first Halloween, and super cute! He loved his costume (and he might even end up wearing it again this fall, since he seemed so cozy in it).

We headed out to my brother's house so that Holden could join his 3 cousins as they ransacked their neighborhood in search of candy. And Holden loved hanging with the older kids, especially his oldest cousin Matt who helped make sure he got candy at each house we stopped at. At the beginning, Holden had no idea what was going on, but by the third house he totally figured out this whole "trick-or-treat" thing -- that was when he toddled up to the front of the group, held his trick-or-treat bag high in the air, and made a sound that might as well have been his version of Adam Sandler's "Hey look at me! Now give me some candy!"

Even though we only stopped at 4 or 5 houses, Holden came away with a small stash of goodies (including a bunch of quarters, and a can of Pepsi ... yes, one of the houses was giving out cans of Pepsi). Before ending the night, we quickly walked down our street with Holden to stop at some neighbors' houses. Hopefully next year we will have the time to be able to decorate more for Halloween (it's kind of a big thing on our street), but our house stayed dark this year.

I'm not going to start reflecting on the year that has passed (that needs a whole other post), but it is crazy to think that a year ago Holden was a bit over 6 pounds and brand new to this world ... and now he's trick-or-treating with his cousins on Halloween.

So Snuggly

2010-10-29T23:42:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago Holden came down with his first major sickness, complete with a 104 degree, and while it was a tough weekend with a long nights, there was a little part of us that loved it too, because our little explorer was just so darn cuddly.

A lot can change in one year...

2010-10-24T16:23:00.009-05:00

Man, that's the understatement of the century. At this time last year, we were anxiously anticipating the arrival of the little guy; here's our 39-week bump post from then. He didn't even have a name at this point last year ... just the ubiquitous "short stranger," or "baby awesome." We were as ready as we could get for this life change, and enjoying our last days of freedom (going out, going on walks, enjoying good meals, etc.). About a year ago this weekend, Bryna (toting the Short Stranger) and I went out to Eckert's Farm in Illinois to go pumpkin picking, and to simply spend some time enjoying fall.

One year later, and our lives are quite different. It feels like Holden has been a part of our life for much longer than just under a year (although I suppose if you add 9 months to that, he's been with us for more like just under 2 years). No complaints on this end, though -- things are certainly different, but not in a bad way. Holden has been such a rockstar baby (and now soon to be toddler), and he's been teaching US a lot about life, too. Every week brings challenges, amazing moments, utter silliness, and milestones that seem to blast past us.

Yesterday, we brought Holden out to the same farm/orchard we visited a year ago to do some pumpkin-picking, and he had a blast (although I think Bryna enjoyed the small children's farm more than Holden, with its goats, camel, pigs, and ponies, of course). Another very warm but beautiful fall day, and the drive up the Mississippi River is always stunning.

I have to keep pinching myself that Holden's 1-Year Birthday is just around the corner!! I hope we have enough time in our busy lives to truly savor this moment.

Holden Walks!

2010-10-20T21:49:00.012-05:00

OK, so now it's official (without any doubt) -- Holden is walking! Tonight, he all of a sudden decided that it was just his time, and the rest is history (for us, at least). We were not sure if he was going to start walking anytime soon, or just keep taking small bursts of steps each day. Today, I know I was proven wrong. For most of the evening, he walked from one of us to the other without much hesitation. Here's video evidence of his first success at walking.

Now, we enter the new terrifying stage of a baby that walks! Wow! We are so sure that Holden is going to come home from daycare tomorrow with bruises and bumps from falling or tripping as he perfects this new skill ... just wait and see. And we're now pushed to enter a whole new stage of baby-proofing in our house (yikes).

Proud parents, proud baby -- and onward we go at breakneck speed into the life of the once little "Short Stranger."

Chef Holden

2010-10-19T16:37:00.004-05:00

No, we haven't forgotten you, readers. We are just very very busy at the moment. To temporarily satiate your interest in the Holden-meister, I present Chef Holden (also known as 'adventures in daycare'). The fact that his teachers could keep this hat on him long enough to take this picture is, in my humble opinion, quite a triumph. I hope this bodes well for his future cooking skills.

sick

2010-10-08T08:29:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure if its daycare, changes in the weather, allergies, or all this travel that's making him sick, but Holden's been sporting an off-and-on cold since for almost two months now. (Probably a combination....). And today will be the third time we try to bring him to the doctor, with the hopes that she'll be able to remedy the problem. On the past two occasions Holden merely had a stuffy nose; today he's tired, a bit winy, and feverish. Maybe these colds have finally transformed into an infection in need of antibiotics. In any case, it seems like our luck has run out on having a persistently healthy little one. And it seems the famed curse of daycare holds true for Holden too.

11 Months and a few days

2010-10-08T01:04:00.004-05:00

So this month flew by faster than any other, as Holden started daycare, and I started back to school full-time. Holden is enjoying his new daytime hangout quite a bit, as pictured in this photo, in which he's eating his very first pizza. He got to make it himself, which mainly comprised of stuffing shredded cheese into his mouth, apparently.

So much is happening developmentally right now it's hard to chart it right now. He's turning into a toddler right before our eyes. He's picking up words (or what sound something like words), standing on his own, and still so very close to walking. As is always the case we have videos and pictures and thoughts galore that need to be posted. But because life is indeed speeding by, we haven't found the time to post them. Perhaps we'll do a "highlights" post at the 1-yr mark to get it all in. Hard to believe it's been one year.

Holden rocks his first flight ... and wedding

2010-10-04T20:39:00.003-05:00

There were two big exciting moments during our recent trip to North Carolina:
1) Bob and Lindsay got married (yay!)
2) Holden took his first flight

To start with, Bryna's brother's wedding was beautiful and lots of fun! They had their wedding outside at a really cool old house in Raleigh, NC. We got to meet Bob and Lindsay's friends in Raleigh, as well as Bob's new in-laws. And Bryna's parents were there, so Holden got to see his grandma and grandpa. We spent lots of time driving around the Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill area, either looking for someone to eat or letting Holden get a nap in the car. The weather was absolutely awesome, and we were so lucky to get there immediately after a Tropical Storm had dropped record rainfall on the entire region.

The other big excitement was Holden's first flight! We had been nervous about this one for months, fearing the worst but hoping for the best. Every time I have flown since Holden's birth and heard a screaming baby, I always thought to myself, "That's going to be Holden one day." But nothing could have been farther from the truth. Holden was a superstar while on the plane. Bryna's mom had purchased Holden an extra seat for him (yes, grandma is pretty smart!), which worked out really well. He was able to just sit in his car seat the whole time. On the flight there, Holden slept for almost half the flight, and quietly played for the remainder of the trip. On the flight back to St. Louis, he slept the entire flight!! Yes, the entire flight! Very awesome!

And Holden loved the wedding, and meeting all these new people. He got to dress up in his fancy outfit (although he had to wear sweatpants, since the pants that came with that outfit were still too big for him). After the ceremony, Holden had to inspect all of the flower petals to see which ones were real and which ones were fake. We stayed at the reception for quite a while, until Holden pooped out and we had to go back to the hotel. All in all, a very fun weekend, and Holden was a rock star!!!

So Close...

2010-09-29T00:00:00.003-05:00

...to walking, that is.

Every time Holden stands on his own two feet, with that determined look in his eye, we think--is this the moment? And apparently his daycare seems to be wondering the same thing. Virtually everyone there--from his teachers to the director, is anxiously awaiting the big milestone. He is apparently the only child there on the verge of this life changing event. He's taken a step or two, once or twice--planting his face into the ground. But not quite yet...so close...soo close.

So what do you think? When will Holden take the big leap?

Apple Picking

2010-09-23T22:30:00.005-05:00

About two weeks ago, we took Holden out to Centennial Farms to go apple picking. What a great day! Even though we didn't end up picking that many apples, we all had fun -- and Holden got to take a hay ride on a tractor out to the orchard. The only had part about carrying Holden in the Ergo-carrier was that he got clunked in the head a couple times by apples falling out of the trees (esp. when daddy was reaching for the really high ones ... whoops). We've since made homemade applesauce with the apples, which was delicious. Now we're looking forward to some pumpkin-picking in October, which is just around the corner ... yay fall!!!!!

one small step for man...

2010-09-23T21:28:00.008-05:00

Although I'm not sure how much of a "giant leap for mankind" this represents, but Holden has been taking his first steps throughout the past week. He's not walking yet, but he is trying so hard to get there. He has been able to stand on his own now for at least a couple weeks, sometimes for quite a long time (esp. if he has toys or snacks in both hands, distracting his attention from the fact that he's not holding on to anything for support). And a couple times this past week, Holden has decided to take some mini steps forward on his own before he crouches down and crawls or sits.

One thing I've decided recently as a parent is that the big "firsts" that are supposed to happen (like first words, first steps, etc.) ... well, there seems to be a lot of gray area here when it comes to defining them. For example, Holden has been saying "dada" off and on for some time -- and probably with some intentionality behind it -- but we're just not sure it's an official 'first word.' He's also working on "uh oh," but is that even a word? Every once in a while, I swear I hear him say something much more complicated (like "elephant"), and then it doesn't happen again -- so does a baby need to say his or her 'first word' a certain number of times for it to count. And how legible does it need to be. Some of Holden's "dada" utterances might be just as random as the times he says things like "elephant" or "I did it" -- but these certainly don't count, right? Another example is this whole 'first steps' thing. Does it count if he isn't walking, or do his official 'first steps' need to be those steps that lead immediately into walking. Sorry for the long tangent here, but someone needs to chime in on these gray areas of parenting sometimes (or we'll all think it's just us that think these things ... and, I know it's not).

On the daycare front, Holden has been continuing to enjoy his days away from home. No consistent napping yet, but they are working to transition him to one nap for his eventual move to the "toddler classroom." But he gets to play with other kids, and do fun activities like painting, playing with water, and International Wearing Pants on Your Head Day (for which we've been preparing Holden with months of practice).
On the other hand, Holden has had this nasty cold (probably a side effect of daycare). Today, the daycare center called us to pick him up since he had a runny nose. After an unnecessary trip to the doctor, we have a letter that will clear him to return tomorrow (but it made for a rather crazy day). I assume this is just the beginning (ugh).

While all of this comes far from being categorized as a "giant leap for mankind," having a child continues to be a "giant leap" for us parents, at least. And an awesome leap, at that.

Pictures from Daycare

2010-09-18T11:45:00.003-05:00

Last week Holden's teachers emailed us some pictures of his adventures at daycare, which have included a few guests and trips to the 'library' in the building.And here he is enjoying one of the books from that library, which we don't actually own:

And here he is with a visiting guitar player, which apparently Holden loved. The teachers tell us he loves music. Of course, we already knew this based on his love for his play piano:

Finally, the famous mirror tunnel that seems to be one of Holden's favorite objects in his room. It's also, incidentally, the culprit for almost every scratch and bump he gets at Daycare, since it tends to throw off his balance.

Week 1 Update

2010-09-11T19:52:00.004-05:00

It seems like a brief update is in order now that we have officially ended week one of daycare. Things are still bumpy , and Holden hasn't been napping nearly enough, but on Thursday and Friday he figured out how to sleep on his own in his crib, and on Fri he even took a real 1 1/2 hour nap. He was fussy on those last two days though, due perhaps to teething they said--although I have to wonder if it was more the lack of sleep mixed with a small dose of separation anxiety. That said, we have progress on the nap situation and that's good. And even better, he seemed to be able to nap without a problem today for us. Meanwhile, on the parenting side, it seems we need to figure out some issues for us as well. On day 2 we forgot to bring in his lovey (which resulted in a mad rush to the daycare at noon), and on Friday we left daycare without packing up all the bottles. Every morning has been a rushed struggle to get all the supplies in order.

More to come I'm sure. Right now, I'm just happy to enjoy the weekend with the wee one.

some things just never change

2010-09-08T20:48:00.006-05:00

How is it that a simple trip to Target to buy some basic baby supplies for Holden's daycare can turn into a deep probing of parental gender bias in American society? Well, I'll tell you.

It all started as I was browsing through the baby clothes department at Target, trying to quickly find something to buy for Holden (on sale, and something that doesn't look stupid ... apparently two tall orders for Target these days -- esp. after they nixed their "Dwell" line of baby clothing). I noticed a couple stacks of t-shirts sitting on a display rack, and then kept on walking -- but my brain said, "wait, WHAT WAS THAT?!?!" So I stepped back, and took a closer look at the graphic on the t-shirts:
So what's wrong with this picture (besides that it's kind of a crappy iPhone snapshot)? It seems all cute and innocent. I can picture it being worn by baby boys attending a Mets game or a Monster Truck Rally with their dads, and people thinking "Oh how cute!" But if you take even a second to really think about what it is saying, it becomes quite terrible in a hurry. Is there really still a pervasive gender preference that fathers have for male babies? Haven't we gotten past that in this country ... in the 21st century. I mean, we get all shocked when we hear stories coming out of China about infanticide and violence against female babies given that country's strong, documented preference for sons. That type of thinking could never happen here. Perhaps this t-shirt I found in Target was made in China (and they are playing a funny yet complex joke on American consumers).

I decided to probe a bit deeper, and found out that this t-shirt might simply be stating the fact. For example, Gallup polls taken since 1941 consistently show that men would rather have a boy by more than a two-to-one margin. A 2007 Gallup poll of adults in the US showed that all people (not just men, but women too) show a rather sizeable preference for boys -- with the top reasons being that "men can relate to boys better than to girls," "boys can carry on the family name," and "boys are easier to raise." Other reasons included "girls are too emotionally and physically weak" and "girls are too high maintenance." So Target probably just did their saavy market research, and they are profitably tapping into our pervasive gender bias that hasn't changed in the US since 1941 (and that's all the rage in China these days, I hear).

I'm waiting for Target to come out with a whole new line of children's toys (made in China, of course) based on the popular poem from the ancient Chinese "Book of Songs":

"When a son is born,
Let him sleep on the bed,
Clothe him with fine clothes,
And give him jade to play...
When a daughter is born,
Let her sleep on the ground,
Wrap her in common wrappings,
And give broken tiles to play..."

First Day of School ... or, Daycare

2010-09-07T21:58:00.007-05:00

So today felt like Holden's first day of school ... only he was going to daycare. Either way, the nerves were on edge from the parental side of things. We readied clothes, bottles, and food for Holden, and headed off to the Learning Center this morning. The center is new (with a brand new building), and we have spent over a month learning about their services -- but also coming to the realization that this is one of the only places we could get Holden into without a waiting list. So today, it was game on.

First of all, Holden is in the "Little Dippers" classroom with two other infants (who are 6 weeks old and 3 months old, so the level of play and interaction with other kids seems limited). Other than being a bit peeved that he's not in the same classroom as his girlfriend Isla, he seemed to love it on his first day. All new toys to play with, and a big room to crawl around at break-neck speed. And new people that cater to your every need. Also, no napping (or, at least, very little napping going on today ... but maybe he was just so excited to be in a new place, and it's just not the same as napping at home, that's for sure).

After dropping him off in the morning, Bryna and I went about our separate ways during the day (me at the Museum, and Bryna at the University). Then, around 12:45pm, we both simultaneously decided to pay Holden a visit. Yes, it is possible we missed him, but we also wanted to check up on this whole daycare thing. When we arrived, Holden had just been put in his crib, asleep. Since he had not napped in the morning and played a ton, he was zonked and fell asleep before we got there. And you know what that means -- short nap. Oh, one other thing ... he had also bonked himself in the nose when trying to walk around a piece of furniture they had there in the room. Yes, this is something we're going to have to get used to (and they are, too, at the daycare center). At the end of the day, Bryna picked up Holden and he seemed happy (but tired from not napping all day). He had played to his heart's content and beyond.

So what do the overbearing parents think after one day of having their little sweetie in day care for one day? Well, we're of course suffering from our own case of separation anxiety, which manifests itself in all kinds of questions and accusations directed toward his new care providers. But, in our defense, I think they also have some things to work out. For instance, we worked really hard to sleep train Holden (ie. getting him to learn to fall asleep on his own, and not just from rocking or nursing) -- and I'm not going to let some daycare teacher take that away as they rock Holden to sleep with a bottle (which is what they seemed to do today, but not what we asked them to do). And who sleeps comfortably under the brightest fluorescent lights known to man -- can't we dim those lights a bit! (sorry, but I hate fluorescent lights). OK, ok, I'm going into crazy, overbearing parent mode, but it's rough sending our 'little bug' off to be cared for by strangers, essentially. It's going to take some adjustment time (for us, and the new daycare center). But, I think we'll survive. I mean, does anyone ever like the first day of school?

10 Months

2010-09-06T15:29:00.004-05:00

Time has started to blur (as I hear it often does after a baby turns 6 months), and Holden is making the transition from infant to toddler whether we're ready for it or not. This past month has been a bit rough on the little guy, who took his first big vacation, experienced his first real cold/fever last week, and whose been stalled out on teeth number 5 and 6, both of which have caused him woe for weeks. And to top it all off, tomorrow he starts Day Care. In general, though, he's handled these experiences well, and seems to be healthy and ready for his big day tomorrow.

Suddenly the guy has a full head of hair, can speed crawl, and occasionally even braves standing on his own (without help) for little bits of time. He's been cruising along the furniture, chasing cats around the house, and has taken to telling us animated stories in his own infant language. He's also mastered a few signs ("more," "eat" and "milk," of course) that we had been working on teaching him for weeks. And...we think he's picked up a word or two, mainly "daddy," which he's seems to have started saying with purpose. Of course, he also says dadadada all the time, so do what you want with that one!

One Week

2010-08-31T22:10:00.006-05:00

Today marks the first week that I return to full-time classes (as a TA, while dissertating), and the last week that I star in the dual roll of full-time student, full-time mom. Yes, Holden is going off to day care next week. How do I feel? Depends on when you ask, but mostly...ready for it.

Yes, I'm sad that our days together will come to an end, but I'm also excited, so very very excited to have uninterrupted work time. The kind of writing-related work time in which you can--if you want--sit alone at your desk reciting your words out loud, to see if they sound as good as they look, and not have to worry about waking anyone up. The kind of work time that involves being able to dive into a theoretically dense text and really, really, spend time wrestling with and conquering it. I'm sure that Mike is ready too--there were some days this summer, when I was trying to balance teaching and parenting, that I think I drove him mad.

I'm also grateful. I'm grateful that I had the rare opportunity to be full-time academic and mom (even it was hard to maintain that balance sometimes), and to be able to fully experience the wondrous thing that is Holden. This was thanks mainly to a husband who wanted to be more than your average dad. The work-life balance is a big messy unresolved issue in academia. There's no way I could have written an article and proposal in the spring, or taught a class in the summer, without him.

So now we wait, excited, nervous about how it will all go for next week.

Evil Prints = Evil Baby ?

2010-08-26T20:00:00.005-05:00

This week, Holden has been hanging out with daddy at work a bunch -- a trend that began with an accident in the kitchen in which a pot of hot water slipped out of my hands and landed on Bryna's leg, sending her to the Emergency Room with a 2nd degree burn (and making it a bit difficult to watch Holden at home for a couple days). Needless to say (or perhaps very needed to say), I feel terrible and extremely guilty. So Holden trekked into the Museum with me on Tuesday and Thursday of this week to let mommy rest and stay off her feet. As you can tell from the photographic evidence, Holden had a blast! And he got to play with all his friends at the Museum, and all of their trash and papers.

Today, Holden was fortunate enough to go with me to visit the studio of printmaker Tom Huck, whose studio is called Evil Prints. And right away, we were making jokes about Holden, the evil print baby (I feel like the evil references are a-plenty given his namesake, Holden Caulfield). Some people might think I am crazy bringing a little one with me to Huck's studio (just check out evilprints.com to find out why), but I guess I just don't get all caught up in what he can and cannot see. He's an "art baby," and is going to see a heck of a lot worse than that at some point in his repeat visits to art museums and gallery openings. Perhaps he will get desensitized at a young age, and have a much more mature attitude towards these types of images and content while the rest of his friends just boorishly giggle (and maybe he'll even use the word "boorish" sometimes).

Anyway, Holden loved visiting Huck's studio, and perhaps he's now on the road to becoming a tattooed, underground artist/printmaker who loves Motorhead ... or not.

Cat-and-Mouse games

2010-08-26T14:54:00.005-05:00

Holden has quite an imagination nowadays. Often, he pretends that daddy, or sometimes mommy, is chasing him and he'll giggle and crawl as fast as he can to the other parent. Recently he's decided to let the cats join in on this game, even if they have no idea they're involved. So when they start to walk to him he pretends he's being chased (like a mouse I suppose), and skampers away towards mom or dad. When we pick him up he continues to giggle, look back anxiously, and then tries to hide in our laps. We're working on getting a video of it because it's just so darn cute.

New Baby Carrier: Ergo

2010-08-25T23:09:00.010-05:00

Have we talked yet about our newest baby carrier obsession, the Ergo? The Ergo is based on the philosophy that a baby should face inward (in other words, opposite of the bjorn), and babies basically 'sit' in them, with their legs wrapped around the parent, snug as a little bug. And the best part? They have lower-lumbar support, so they don't tend to weigh you down the way that bjorns can.
Although we have friends who swear by them, we were a little worried Holden wouldn't enjoy facing inward as much as he loves to face outward in the bjorn. But this new little carrier worked like a charm on our trip to Tennessee. Sure, there were times that he wanted to twist his head around, but when he got sleepy...he had a nice cozy place to fall to sleep. The ergo even has a hood that you can snap over your child's head when they start to nap, so that they can sleep peacefully in the darkness. The carrier seemed perfect for a 9-month old, who is big enough to wrap his legs around our waists, and perfect for us, who miss those days when the little guy would fold into our bodies to fall asleep. He only fell asleep once in the ergo during the trip--when Mike was wearing it, but it was perhaps the most adorable event of the entire vacation.
Yes, we've become those parents who own way-too-many carriers. But each seems to have served a different role at a different developmental period. And we don't regret buying any of them because Holden has loved them (and so have we). Already, we covet those backpack carriers people wear when they hike with toddlers--so I'm sure we'll end up with one of those next. We brought the Ergo on our vacation instead of the stroller because we just couldn't fit our wonderful--yet unwieldy--BOB in the car with everything else. And the wonderful thing about carriers (as opposed to strollers) is that you can hike, or walk in crowded spaces, with them. Which made hiking to "Laurel Falls" and "Clingmans Dome" a possibility.

Biting

2010-08-25T10:52:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago Holden's top two teeth finally popped out, and have been slowly growing since, while his 5th and 6th teeth began their own process of emerging. And since then, Holden's taken to biting not just teething toys, but--on occasion--his mommy and daddy. We think these are mainly 'love bites' probably due in part to our own 'love nibbles' when he was younger, but man does it hurt! He's probably also becoming accustomed to these new top teeth of his which seem far more useful than the first set of teeth.

This biting issue came to a fruition during our vacation, on a trip where he was otherwise perfectly pleasant, and thankfully--we think anyway--we've been able to stop it. How? A simple firm, but unalarming "no biting" whenever he does it. And if we're at home, we also put him down on the ground. We've also been trying to teach him "kisses" and "tickles" instead of bites--and he seems to be learning (he presses his mouth against our arm now instead of biting it.) Our first experience with disciplining seems to be working!

One more note on this biting issue--my mom claims that she used to 'bite me back' when I'd bite. To each there own, I guess, but I think this approach only teaches more bad habits and confuses them. To me, the best way to handle these kinds of situations, especially when they are this young and don't understand what they're doing, is to be firm but not angry, and to provide them with other alternative ways to playfully express themselves. And to give them chances to practice using those new teeth with food. Because new top teeth? How can a baby not be excited about that one?

Pool Shark

2010-08-22T11:51:00.002-05:00

One of the more fantastic features in our Gatlinburg, TN, cabin was a billiard table in the second floor loft area. I'm sure this space provides loads of entertainment for groups of adult friends who surely turn this space--complete with balcony and flat-screen TV--into a party area. But for us, it provided a chance to introduce Holden to fine art of pool. The little H-bomb got a huge kick out of watching us hit the balls about, and enjoyed his own time playing a little billiards himself:

He was, of course, of course, fascinated by the sound the balls made when he dropped them:

And like most objects in this world, they were apparently, delicious:

Mountain Man

2010-08-21T10:56:00.010-05:00

This week, we took out first official summer vacation with Holden, heading to the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee to cool off some and relax. We rented a cabin outside of Gatlinburg, and used that as our home base to take short trips to Great Smoky Mountains National Park and downtown Gatlinburg (which is kind of cheesy, but also very beautiful). Holden had a blast in the mountains (probably because it was 20-30 degrees cooler there than it had been in St. Louis before we left). Here are some photo highlights of our trip:

First off, the cabin was very nice (rented through Jackson Mountain Homes), with a deck that had a stunning view of the Smoky Mountains...Holden seemed to really like the cabin, but not as much as he liked his trips to the National Park. I think we drove over to the park (which was super close to Gatlinburg) about every day, either taking a short hike with Holden or simply driving around to see the sights. Our first jaunt into the national park took us to the highest point -- Clingman's Dome -- where it was raining (that became a daily event during our trip, as with most trips to the mountains). But we trekked up to the very top with Holden in his new Ergo carrier, and we all smiled triumphantly as we gazed down over the tree tops and surrounding clouds. On our way up, we got a whole range of comments from fellow hikers -- mostly accolades for hiking with a baby strapped to our chest, but one old lady made a super sarcastic comment that "Oh, 'cause he'll remember this." That was a stupid thing for her to say -- all of a baby's experiences have a very significant impact on who they become, especially at this age. Anyway, Holden really loved it when we got to the top, as this photo proves...
Over the next few days, we spent a lot of time hanging at the cabin, relaxing and enjoying the mountain air. We also went back to the park to visit the Cades Cove district and to take a hike to a waterfall (Laurel Falls, to be exact). Holden continued to enjoy his time in the mountains, and he especially seemed to like the hike to the falls (a bit tougher of a hike than the walk to Clingman's Dome, since unlike all the waterfall hikes at Shenandoah National Park, this trail went UP to the waterfall). During our drives around the park, we would stop to take breaks and see the views, rivers, and wildlife (the latter of which we didn't see much, unfortunately). In the Cades Cove area, Holden got to meet his first horse up close -- that was about all the wildlife we got.
Overall, the trip was lots of fun, and Holden was so good (even on the long drive there and back). I would definitely say now that "babies can travel," which still seems to be an issue of debate out there in the parenting community. I say that you should get your baby out there to experience trips like this, so that they can get used to traveling more. And hiking with Holden was much easier than we anticipated, so there will definitely be more of that in his future.

I'll end this post with another view of the "smoky" mountains from our cabin ... ahhhhhhh.

Holden Dancing ... OMG!

2010-08-13T23:03:00.002-05:00

Cat vs. Baby: ain't no big thing

2010-08-13T22:41:00.004-05:00

After months of trepidation, followed by curiosity on the cats' part, then curiosity on Holden's part--the relationship seems to have balanced out. Holden no longer feels the need touch (er, grab and pull...) Fred or Tim, and the two cats have decided that the baby is nothing to fear. In fact, they often enjoy sharing the same stretch of land as though he is one of them. I'm curious to see how this relationship will continue to evolve as time passes, especially once Holden learns to walk.

Puzzle Pieces ... It's What's for Dinner!

2010-08-13T22:12:00.004-05:00

Holden has certainly been growing and changing so quickly recently, and it's been hard to keep up with the bloggin'. So I'm going to try and catch up here in the next week or so, posting some of Holden's finest summer moments that have gone by without the proper blog attention (which every baby needs, of course).

Holden's favorite toy for quite some time now has been these animal puzzles he has (one makes animal sounds, and one doesn't). He is so good at grabbing the pieces out of the puzzle, and inspecting them in a most curious way. And, yes, sometimes they end up in his mouth -- but most often we just stares at them, perhaps trying to figure out how these zebras, elephants, lions, and tigers got so small.

He's been intentionally eating a lot of other new things as he continues to experience new foods. Recently, he's been introduced to lentils, tofu, onions, baked sweet potatoes with apple and cinnamon, and CHEERIOS! Yes, for some reason, one of the most anticipated snack foods for babies has always been Cheerios, and Holden finally added that to his menu this past week. He seems to really like them (maybe that's why parents are always so excited to add Cheerios to the diet, besides the fact that they are really convenient). He's not quite feeding them to himself, but we're working on that one.
More posts on their way...

Morning meet and greet

2010-08-10T22:34:00.003-05:00

Mike often gets Holden in the mornings when he wakes up and brings him into our room. Here's one best morning greetings, in quite possibly the cutest pj's ever. A wonderful way to start the day.

Touch and Feel

2010-08-10T22:04:00.007-05:00

Holden's been really into textures recently--soft, smooth, rough, you name it. Textures like brick or concrete make him especially happy. In the picture above, for instance, he's mesmerized by the outdoor concrete walls of the Pulitzer Foundation for the Arts building, designed by Tadeo Ando. A reaction that made us laugh, since the Foundation itself tends to treat the building as though it is a divinely inspired space. Hmm...perhaps they should use this photograph on their promotional website.

To satiate Holden's texture fetish, we've been spending a lot of time reading "touch and feel" books. He loves the two pictured below. Especially poor old "Pat the Bunny," a cheaply constructed book that has fallen apart from one-too-many "pats." It's not such a bad thing though--despite my own fondness for this classic that I too owned as a child, the book is quite traditional in its parental gender constructions.

I've also become a bit more creative, using the rice cereal we have--but rarely use--as edible play dough/wonderful squishiness. Holden loved it, but spent most of his time simply picking up pieces, looking at them intensely, and then (of course) dropping them in his lap. I love watching him in these moments taking in the sensory experiences that we all take for granted. To imagine feeling things for the first time.

9 months in, 9 months out

2010-08-07T19:36:00.004-05:00

Out the womb as long as he was in. Holden is 9, months, 3/4 of a year, big enough to fill his car seat, and can you tell that we've been busy? We actually have lots of videos to show of the little man-on-the-move, but both of us have been far too crazed with work to post anything. And the H-meister is quite the active one now, crawling, pulling-up, cruising, playing with anything that can be dropped and picked up again. It's getting hard to get a good picture that's not of the boy in a highchair (see picture, exhibit A), because he just won't stop bouncing or squirming. It's fun to watch him explore the world around him, and study each object he picks up, as if to wonder, 'what's this for?'

Next week Holden has his 9-month doctor's appointment in which we find out whether he's still hitting the bottom of the growth chart. Everyone tells us he's 'getting big,' but I still think he's probably on the light side. Behind those chubby cheeks and round belly is a tiny derriere that can barely hold up his diapers.

Ted Drewes: A St. Louis Classic

2010-08-03T23:39:00.003-05:00

Not yet Holden, but soon...very soon....

Napping is back in fashion!

2010-07-26T23:51:00.003-05:00

As I noted in my last post, ever since Holden learned to pull up, he's been struggling with his naps. Finally, over the last week, things have settled back to normal. Yes, all Holden needed to do was to learn how to get back down on his own. So once again, we can safely let him blow off 10 or 15 minutes of steam in his crib before he settles down, on his own, to sleep. Hip hip hooray! Glad that stage has passed.

Why sleep when you could stand?

2010-07-21T11:53:00.003-05:00

In the past few weeks, Holden has discovered the wonderful world of pulling up and standing. And of course, there's no better place to practice this new skill than in the crib. So every time we've put him down for a nap, the seemingly sleepy yawning boy perks up to gleefully have some independent play time. At first this new nap time challenge presented us with some deep frustrations: he figured how to get up, but couldn't safely get himself down. So we'd either have to come in and teach him how to get down (over and over again, reminding him that it's "nap time"), or we'd suddenly here a loud cry and know that he clunked himself against the side. This required some soothing and made a productive nap period nearly impossible.

Thankfully this week Holden seems to have gotten the hang of getting back down himself. In fact, this has become his new obsession during wake hours. Thus, nap times seem to be getting better. Last week--I'd have to go in about 5 times each nap to help him down--and it would take up to an hour (and a lot of protests!) for him to actually fall asleep. This week: about 20 minutes of self-play. Woot! Glad this little stage is quickly passing.

And to think that years ago, we adults preferred standing to sleeping.

On the move

2010-07-20T00:05:00.004-05:00

Now that Holden has become mobile, his--and our--days are filled with rediscovering the world that is our home. At first, such adventures gave us anxiety; Holden was eager to crawl, pull-up, and stand, but not so adept at figuring how to reverse course and sit back down. Too often after pulling himself, he found himself crashing to the ground, and we found ourselves soothing him. But recently, he's decided that getting back down carefully will serve him well, and he's turned his energy to practicing these skills.

And who knew so many parts of our house were so inviting?

Here's a sampling of Holden discovering the world around him.

Addressing your sleep questions

2010-07-15T11:02:00.002-05:00

Recently, Mike and I have been receiving a lot of questions from friends and readers about sleep issues. I don't think this is because we are experts (far from it), but we've tried to talk openly about sleep here on the blog because we have come to realize its a) important; and b) the sleep books don't address the quirks and challenges that come along with the territory. Nor, might I add, do the books address the dynamic ever-changing miracle that is a baby--who grows, and gets sick, and teethes, and learns to crawl, stand, and walk--at least not in any comprehensive way. So in an effort to keep the conversation going, I wanted to post a question that a commenter asked:

"My husband and I have a 15 week old son and want to use a cry it out method to sleep train, but it's the missed feedings we feel terrible about...did you get your little boy up to nurse, then start over, or do they just go cold turkey? This would involve missing 2 usual feedings...it feels like no one addresses the issue on the net...do I need to get a book or what? Would love to know what worked..."

I remember being that parent, who hunted the internet and asking friends for answers, doing insane things to get him to nap (driving him around, for instance), wondering if anything would ever work. I sympathize!

To address the last question first, it's certainly up to you, but we used a book--and we read at least a couple of them. I don't think one specific method works better than any other, but if you use a book--and stick to it--you have a clear guide to follow. Something tangible, and spelled out. Something your can pour over in the evening while you're using the method. And here's hard part: don't second-guess yourself about it. Just use the book, to the letter, for a WHILE (more than 3 days or even a week). It's hard but you have to trust the process. My husband would write down how long it took for Holden to fall asleep on the back page of the book; it became part of his process, and was strangely meditative.

We used Jodi Mindell's book, but we also bought and read a beat up old copy of Weissbluth. I couldn't personally like the Weissbluth method because I find it too cruel (put them in the crib, walk away, and don't come back to check), but his book helped me understand how sleep works in babies. And for us, understanding the science behind it all helped us attack the problem.

As for the night feedings...according to Mindell, you should only do check/cry method at bedtime. If they wake up during the middle of the night, she says to soothe them however you normally would (if that means nursing them to sleep, so be it). Once they learn to fall asleep on their own, she argues, they won't wake up as much. For us, this seemed to be true. Almost immediately after we started sleep training, he stopped waking up in the middle of the night. He didn't actually seem to need those extra night feedings. We never woke him up for extra feedings, I just fed on demand during the day. And because I was a bit paranoid, I usually "cluster fed" in the evening (fed him several times within a few hours) to "tank him up." This may mean feeding your baby a couple of extra times during the day. But it's worth it, I think, for a solid nights sleep for you and him/her.

And here's the thing about sleep that took us a while to not only accept, but embrace. They will still wake up sometimes. They will have bad nights, and they will teethe, and they will have days when they don't want to nap (like today!) because that's a part of being human. I still nurse him in the middle of the night when he wakes up, because it's a soothing technique that works. And now, even if they catch me by surprise, I treasure those nights, because I realize that there are only a few months left that he'll even want to nurse (heck, he fights it during the daytime already!). I never thought I'd say that when he was 4 months old, and we were desperately searching for a solution, but it's true!

Who need Newton?

2010-07-15T00:08:00.006-05:00

Everybody's favorite restaurant game. Gravity in action.
Over. And Over. Again.

a goodbye to the sweetest cat that ever lived

2010-07-13T20:49:00.007-05:00

Today, we were abruptly forced to say goodbye to our beloved cat Alice, with whom we have shared life for more than the past 8 years. She was diagnosed with advanced kidney insufficiency, and we had to make the difficult decision to put her to sleep.

Alice was, no doubt, a part of our family, and we will miss her dearly. She had lived with us in 3 apartments in Washington, DC, and our current home in St. Louis (where she had just about the best window sills to sit on and view the world). She was our first pet together, and she'll always have a special place in our hearts.

And while Holden did not have much of a chance to get to know her, I'd like to think that they really liked each other. The only picture I could find of Alice and Holden is before Holden was born -- Alice did seem to be drawn to Holden in the womb, and she would cuddle up with Bryna while she was pregnant. And as we said our final goodbyes to Alice this afternoon, Holden was able to reach out and pet her one last time, too.

Teething, redux

2010-07-12T16:25:00.002-05:00

Wouldn't it be nice if they only did the teething thing once?

Holden is currently working on cutting his top two teeth, and this--along with his crawling/pulling up adventures--is wreaking havoc on whatever nap schedule he might have had. I knew this was coming. I had been warned. But it still doesn't make it any less frustrating.

The good news--since he's so obsessed with exploring, when he's awake his teeth don't seem to bother him. It just hits him once he's down for his nap. Which makes it all a little confusing, because we think all is well, and then bam, we have a whiny fussy no-napping baby who seemed perfectly happy when we put him down.

Come on teeth!